Learning experience number one!
I had been out of work for a couple of months and needed a means of self support. With no employment prospects in sight, I opened an antique shop. I called it, "Regal Relics" because occasionally my mother would come in and she was the oldest relic in the shop. Any way, Saturdays were extremely slow. So slow in fact that most of the other shops in the district were closed. I wasn't expecting anyone either so I locked the door and grabbed my bag. Just about the time I was full of water, someone was banging on the door. . . a customer?? He wanted a prized and very expensive book case that I had for sale. I threw on my pants, no underwear, and went out to greet him. I am afraid that I projected my ire at his interuption and maybe he suspected that something was awry from the puddle on the floor. Any way the fellow left and I locked the door behind him. He never returned and I lost the sale. Tough choices have to be made in such an emergency!!
Case number two!
On a Sunday morning when I was alone in the house and no one was expected, I reached for my one gallon Jugbag and filled myself up. As the old coffee commercial used to say, "Good to the last drop!" and this one was a nice Ivory soapy with cramps and all. As I neared completion of the fill, someone banged on the door but I ignored it. The bangs became louder and louder until I wrapped a bath towel around myself to answer the commotion. When I opened the door in my less than suitable attire, a young fellow announced to me that he happened to be in the neighborhood and was doing Christian missionary work. He also said that he was on my porch to save my soul. I think that my answer was something like, "If you really want to find what my soul smells like, he should stand where he is because my soul was about to yield a big explosion." The fellow backed away and my soul still needs saving!
All other case numbers:
Large volume enemas can still be embarrassing! I never was interrupted by a plumber who wanted to fix a toilet leak when I was full of water. That would give him competition to use that appliance and anything could happen at any time.
Of late, when someone wants to contact me and I am indisposed the door is locked and I am usually up on my colonic irrigation machine. I take my cell phone, land line and ham radio with me. With caller ID i can screen my calls and "Out Of Area" callers and most 800 numbers need not apply. In general there are very few communications consultants, such as the missionary, that can't wait. However, if they can't I can simply open the waste discharge valve and they likely never know in what activity I am engaged.
Most of my door and wall bangers know that if my car is in the drive way and I don't answer the door that they should wait a while before they come back because i am involved with my own health fitness plan. They also know that my plan is that:
An enema a day keeps the doctor away.