What turns a person into being bi?

I believe that I was wired from birth to be bisexual. I can remember having erections at age 10 when given enemas by both men and women that were prescribed by the family doctor for health. I was aroused by feeling the lubricated enema nozzle pushed into my ass pussy and by looking at their bodies. My family, relatives, and some friends of the family were nudists during warm months in Los Angeles during meet ups in back yards that had high fences for privacy. I felt aroused when looking at attractive nude women who had large breasts and nude men who were muscular, had a hairy chest, or had a large penis. These feelings became stronger when I was fourteen years old when I would play doctor with busty teen girl and when my ass pussy was topped by a sixteen year old male athlete who was on my softball team. When I was eighteen years old, I had sexual experiences with both women and men. I perceived myself as bisexual and gender fluid. Feel free to message me if you have questions or had similar experiences.

Overall I feel people are probably wired from birth to be bisexual. This is my take on how someone might start out as heterosexual and then at some point in their life shifts into bisexuality.

I see your point... as one who got into bi activity in my late 40's this might be true, but not sure... The tipping point for me was the freedom my wife gave me to explore all things sexually. The more I could do, the more I wanted to do.

Really, I've simply concluded it boils down to the acknowledgement of denials and long-suppressed urges.

Here's my story of possibly turning "bi".

I'm 72 years old and have been 100% straight all my life. But since I have become impotent from prostate cancer and radiation treatments, my desire for M2M has become something I might want to try. Also, during the last 4 or 5 years, due to all the meds I've taken, I have grown a very large set of man boobs (42D and growing) which are VERY erotically sensitive when rubbed which gives me great pleasure in my asshole, especially when I am plugged. With my boobs, I sometimes feel like I've become a woman desiring penetrative sex as someone's bottom. My testosterone levels are actually in the high end of normal for my age, so if I can't "get it up" anymore does this mean I have only one option to achieve something approaching a pleasing orgasm? The thought of a guy actually fucking me in the ass while fondling my very ample, sensitive boobs really sets me off at times.

For the record....My wife of 41 years thinks pegging is gross, so that option is not on the table...

Really, I've done so much doing-without, for well over a half-decade, that I've only been solo and with all my diabetes meds and ED; I'd now settle for an infrequent casual relationship that involves only mutual stimulation, and just being satisfied with the end reward no matter how it comes out. The past few years I've repeated this motto to myself: All Sex Doesn't Need To End In Orgasm.

Really, I've simply concluded it boils down to the acknowledgement of denials and long-suppressed urges.

or maybe prison!

My first explicitly sexual feelings toward a woman hit me like a lightning bolt while vacationing with a couple of girl friends in Bali 3 years ago. This followed a particularly stressful life event but I never planned that my eat pray love moment would bring an overwhelming interest in another’s woman’s vagina. While on a group hike, I developed an instant attraction to a perfect stranger. I took note of my extreme and unexpected excitement but I did not act on it then or later. I fantasized about her every night back in my hotel room and when I would see her at meals or on the hikes, I felt awkward and stupid like a smitten middle schooler. I wondered if perhaps I was losing my mind because I had learned in my psych training that most people are genetically hardwired to be either straight or gay, that bisexuality was the rarer condition. I also considered myself an open minded, tolerant person who would have no reason to repress homosexual urges if they had been there earlier in my life. When I returned home from that vacation, I watched the “L word “show intently and while I thought the lesbians depicted were beautiful and the sex was not, I knew that a lesbian lifestyle was not for me. I am still friends with this woman but I have never shared my feelings with her because she is a lesbian and I don’t want to use her for experimentation.

I also wonder if my bicuriosity might just be a manifestation of the yolo (you only live once) feeling. When I was a teenager, I decided that I wanted to see “everyplace in the world. As I approach my 60th birthday, I realize that I am way behind schedule but the urge for experiencing and seeing new things has never diminished. More recently that wish has expanded to the sexual sphere. Is my bicuriosity an interest in women or is it my need to try everything once? Just like I have had the need to see the fjords of Norway, or go on safari or… once I have done those things, I had no need to live there and was ready to move on to the next thing. These are the ruminations that keep me bicurious but have, to date, prevented me from acting on these feelings.

My first explicitly sexual feelings toward a woman hit me like a lightning bolt while vacationing with a couple of girl friends in Bali 3 years ago. While on a group hike, I developed an instant attraction to a perfect stranger. I took note of my extreme and unexpected excitement but I did not act on it then or later. I fantasized about her every night back in my hotel room and when I would see her at meals or on the hikes, I felt awkward and stupid like a smitten middle schooler. I wondered if perhaps I was losing my mind because I had learned in my psych training that most people are genetically hardwired to be either straight or gay, that bisexuality was the rarer condition. ....... and I don’t want to use her for experimentation.

As I approach my 60th birthday, I realize that I am way behind schedule but the urge for experiencing and seeing new things has never diminished. More recently that wish has expanded to the sexual sphere. Is my bicuriosity an interest in women or is it my need to try everything once?

@hollydoc Think about if you confessed the parts I culled out to this person. Came out and admitted to her that you were attracted to her back then, and the effects it had on you. And that you don't want to use her for experimentation, but that your curiosity is still there......

If you wanted to experience a sexual encounter with a woman for at least once in your life, is there anyone you'd rather experience it with ?

Take time and think about that for a while.

@hollydoc I so enjoy and appreciate reading your very honest account of your experience in Bali. Thank you for being willing to share it.

Oops - I see in post #113 below I made a mistake when I said “not getting what you want same sex wise" - That should have read “not getting what you want opposite sex wise". Also, I'd like to add that looking at an erection on the net might make a guy think they might like to play with it – but there's a big difference between fantasizing alone while on the net, verses actually meeting some in person.

I never really had a problem with gay people. I didn't really entertain the possibility of having sex with a guy until I broke up with my girlfriend (she was my first, though I'd dated other girls and came back to her time after time because we were basically friends, and she was fucking amazing), and I was so unbelievably horny, and knew a guy who mentioned he was into guys. He kind of had an effeminate appearance and I started to consider it a possibility. Eventually I acted on it

Crossdressing and Tgirls.

Tgirls are some of the sexiest creatures on earth!

I think being bi is always inside you. There may be an situation or person that triggers the initial experience that puts you on the path but tha i uniqu to everyone. For me it was always there but being “bi” ment nothing at the time. When I first started playing sexie games it was with male friends, when we were probably 7 or 8 years old. It was just fun. I saw no reason to stop having fun.

All I know is--

It's a helluva lot better than contemplating doing it to a kid.

I agree that you can do whatever you want with the label you choose to use, but at least here in the West it is much more societally acceptable to see two women together than two men. I suppose it would be less of a leap for an otherwise straight woman to explore with another one.

Going to bed with another woman for the very first time and having her rock your world.

I don’t know. Do people turn bi? I think I always was bi.

I don’t know. Do people turn bi? I think I always was bi.

Good remark.

I think though the question was meant to be interpreted as: when did members realize/accept they were bi? And how does it come about?

There are so many social factors that work against identifying and accepting being bi that it is something of an uphill struggle to get there. Society throws up so many roadblocks to prevent people from getting there if they wish and if that is their true nature.

Going to bed with another woman for the very first time and having her rock your world.

I agree, my first orgasm with another person was with a friend of mine and I definitely think this moment changed my outlook. I had zero attraction to women or girls growing up, I was a typical boy crazy teen until then.

When I was about 15 I started to get excited thinking about sucking cocks.

A short time later I was cruising looking to pickup a guy every night for a few years.

A few years later I was at a local bar and I must have been starring at a gay guy.

He took it the wrong way.

He came up to me and told me “ I should take off my belt and spank you!

I really wanted to leave with him for my spanking and more😃.

I don't think you 'turn' bi. You may deny it or repress it but I believe you're born that way. I personally thing we're all bi to some extent and degree and cultural factors either encourage or inhibit it. Without getting into a dissertation, look at ancient cultures like Greece, Rome, much of the Arab world, China etc. Bisexuality was either encouraged, a key part of the culture, or at, worst, ignored. People didn't change genetically from then to now so what's the difference? Cultural acceptance. How many Gen Z and A girls claim bisexual or non-binary status? Now compare that to my generation. Did something cause a major biological shift to humanity? No. Culturally it became OK and even fashionable to experiment with bisexuality and so people have. I wish this was the attitude when I was younger.

@Nurse_Phillips As usual, I concur with you. I believe that we are born with our desires but cultures do influence our sexual profiles by encouraging or discouraging them. While I don't know much about Arab or Chinese cultures. I do know about Greek and Roman cultures, where bisexuality was encouraged. Also different sex acts are influenced by cultures. What is accepted as norm in one culture is taboo in another a la French and Greek prior to WWII. I would also like to add another influence to our sex profiles the Internet. I nearly peed my pants, laughing. the first time that I watched an instructional video on how to perform felatio on a male. It even showed how to diminish the taste while swallowing. I am sure that there are also some instructional videos on how to perform cunnilingus on a female.

I kinda really dislike the phrasing of this question.

You are bi or you aren't, point blank. That being said, humans being designed for bisexuality, I think the majority of people are actually bisexual, straight-leaning, and that while heterosexuality is very real, it's also pushed by culture as the only normal. If society wasn't so strict on it, most people would likely have a same-sex lover every now and then, though they'd still favour the other sex for good reason (mainly, having children).

Bonobos are our closest living genetic relatives in the animal kingdom. (99% commonality)

Google Sexual Behavior in Bonobos.

I kinda really dislike the phrasing of this question.

I certainly appreciate your response for myriad reasons. The main being that my desires are fleeing what might there one day might not the next. Also, my desires change with people and certainly situations.

I have always loved women sexually, and also men. Sucked my first cock at 8, and quickly, found out that that was definitely not acceptable, so I suppressed it for decades. However,from time to time, I did want to suck a man's cock. Had a great straight life, married and 2 children, but the desire was always just under the surface.

2 years ago, I had my first sex with a man. Loved it from the second he entered my mouth!! Have a full homosexual life now, and am very comfortable, but I do remember my past life favorably. Pleasantly married, and comfortable.

Now compare that to my generation. Did something cause a major biological shift to humanity? No. Culturally it became OK and even fashionable to experiment with bisexuality and so people have.

@Nurse_Phillips I have wondered if that is the reason for so many going public with their bisexual feelings. It raises ones status a bit to say they are.

Seems like there are largely three positions that people are taking on this:

- everybody is somewhere on the Kinsey scale

- you're either straight/gay/bi

- your inclinations can change due to your experiences

My gut feeling is that the latter is at least partially true for me, I've always thought my attraction to women was caused by that first and subsequent great experiences, because any attraction or interest in women wasn't something I ever felt or noticed until after then. I definitely felt like I had been re-wired. I have had people tell me I was always bisexual and I just hadn't realised it yet, which I suppose could be true, but I knew I was attracted to guys before I had any sexual experiences with guys. And my attraction to men definitely did diminish after really underwhelming sex, especially in comparison to my friend.

I don't really feel like anything turned me bi I feel like I have always been bi. From a young age I have always been attracted to everyone regardless of there sex. I don't feel like it was anything I saw or did it just has always been like that.