Sub-drop (after sub-space)

Can someone explain sub-drop and give suggestions for coping with it. Of course the Dom/Domme providing aftercare helps but what about when one is not with their Dom/Domme when it happens? I have a friend who travels for work and finds himself in subspace an intense phone/Skype/texting session. He is often reviled by his behavior once the call has ended and for days and weeks after. He deletes all his accounts and tries to avoid his sub tendencies but they always catch up to him. So what can we do for him when he's halfway across the world and all alone?

The Domme in me says you should tell him to suck it up and be a man! 😁

He must have some imagination to get all riled up halfway around the world! 😁

What do you do to the poor guy?!?!?!

I haven't done enough. That's for sure. But I do my best. We'll talk on the phone when he's in Asia and I'll get him so riled up that he doesn't know what to do with himself. I have to admit, sometimes When he's really aroused, I'll make up an excuse for why I have to hang up. It drives him crazy to the point that he can't sleep. He'll send me texts or emails about extremely submissive fantasies he has, even though we both know he would never go as far as he imagines. But I like to keep the fantasy going and take it far and run with it.

But yeah, sucking it up and being a man would be nice. But he's married with children and has a career to think about and he's terribly paranoid that his secrets will be found out. He's a nice man and I like his mind. He's a gemini, like me, so I understand him. We've talked about playing with my new lover and having him dominate my paranoid subbie. But I doubt it will ever happen. He's more word than action.

I've tried to explain sub drop to him and he kind of gets it but is in his own head too much. He needs to learn to relax and accept his submission as part of who he is and the desires as what he needs to be fulfilled in life. His fantasies are never going to go away.

Hey egirlky,

Yet another Gemini here too .... I get it .... we do seem to gravitate to each other .... almost like twins ...

In true gemini fashion, E-man, do you find yourself to be a switch and/or bisexual? It seems the twins like to be the yin and yang of things and be a little of each.

I can function well as a switch and will interact with both genders but not sure if I truly qualify as a bisexual yet .... certainly bi-curious.

Life is a process ....

@E-male Cool. Enjoy the journey.

Never heard the term ub-drop, but i recognize the behavior . In the short run, he can be led to believe that his suffering and/or orgasm are a positive and valued things. He should preserve his sperm from (otherwise ruined?) orgasms, and deliver the sperm to you, or consume it himself during a later session. His suffering, pain, willingness to undergo torture, abuse, and punishment should be contemporaneously praised at the moment you inflict it ... your praise and approval should not be withheld to aftercare. The purpose of aftercare, after all, is to bring the sub BACK from subspace so that he or she can at least walk, drive a car, and finish the grocery shopping without danger or embarassment. Re-regression, so to speak.

I beleive that at the core of every sub/slave/massochist is an abuse survivor. If he is rejecting his own proclivities, he may be encouraged to examine his deep past, and to consciously recall the abuse he suffered. His sexuality is the result of an extraordinary aspect of the human mind. The human mind can translate age-old memories of pain, trauma, and abuse into current experiences of intense sexual pleasure. Is he not pleased that his traumatic recollection have yielded a person who orgasms on command, rather than one who pulls the wings off flies, or sets stray cats on fire? Traumatic memories will exercise themselves, and will not be denied.

Finally, remember this: I'm not a real doctor, I just play one on TVs.

Yes sub-drop does exist as does Top drop. And they can be severe after a very intense session.For us the best way to avoid it or to reduce it is to have good, intimate aftercare immediately after the session and to communicate the next day, and the following days . That seems to complete the cycle. The follow up communication can be in any form. It just must be intimate and sincere.

Yes sub-drop does exist as does Top drop. And they can be severe after a very intense session.

Yes that is exact as I have experienced first the sub drop and then the friend having done the session called me to spend a simple moment as she felt bad because of it (she is not a domme)

But I agree with your entire post.