Guilty About Fetish

I have some guilt or maybe some uneasy feelings about my kink. The problem I have is that I get very turned on by the one getting spanked not enjoying it. My interest is in the punishment aspect of the spanking. I'm turned on by a F/m type domestic discipline type punishments. The struggle, tears, crying out at each swat. It seems kinda sadistic. Not quite understanding why it's a turn on to me. This is exactly the way my wife describes how she was spanked. I love hearing the stories but she unfortunately will never be someone I could spank.

You're just a sick fuck.

But don't worry, we can assure you the guilt will pass. The fact is, in the purist S&M sense, you're not supposed to care if the one getting spanked enjoys it. All that matters is that the spanker enjoys himself/herself. Basically, I wouldn't worry about it.

On a serious note, what you need to concentrate on and learn is about aftercare. The closeness you share after the punishment and the expression and affirmation of your love and caring for each other makes it all OK.

Thanks for the response...And pointing out the obvious : )

I'm working on it. But knowng how many of us are out here helps me understand myself better.

Suggest you read Fifty Shades of Grey, there is definitely an element of what you are describing in that book. You say you love hearing the stories, well although ficticious it might give you some idea of your thoughts Obviously it might not, but perhaps one way of a little "research".

I would like to suggest checking out "Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission" by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs. It's a great beginner book and actually written by real people in the lifestyle, unlike the fiction book '50 Shades'. You might want to stay away from 'fictions' while you sort through your feelings. Just know you aren't alone and there are many, many people who have written about their journey to self acceptance in this lifestyle. Good luck!

I would say I have some guilt in a similar vein, but from the other side. I want to try to get to a point where I might *not* be enjoying the spanking, at least until I cry real tears. It's difficult because I need to consent to being spanked, but I would love to feel the intensity of the spanker not caring if I'm "enjoying' getting spanked. It's emotionally intense, and it's understandable you'd feel conflicted about it.

Everyone is different... I love losing control and getting a true punishment spanking... I need the spankings you describe and want to give i am sorry your wife cannot fulfill that need for you... If I was close enough and you wanted I'd love to let you have what you wanted from me, although being straight you might not get what you need from punishing a gay boy....