>>> I bet the Skylar Price video was the impetus for this thread.
Might be I was REALLY fascinated with that video and acted out a lot of fantasies and watched that and another S&M porn video suggested on the same thread. Thus I have acted out today, more than I have in months, and watched more prorn than I have in a decade.
I do kind of know my "threads" on this.
1) I had a mother who was raised by her Christian Science grandmother and who was taught that enemas were sort of the cure all, universal panacea. On one occasion I, was held down by my sisters while my mother gave me an enema. I was about four or five years old. If you wanna make your son a bondage-enema pervert forever, this is how to do it! It's one of those shared childhood experiences that we all remember!
2) My mother and two older sisters were sometimes quite harsh with me. I got spankings. My younger sister was jealous of me. She was the girl that was supposed to be a boy, and has a feminine version of my fathers name. She would sit on me and tickle me until I wet myself. Then she would run to my mother an tell her that I wet myself, and mother would spank me for wetting myself!
3) I became a cross-dresser. At least one therapist came to the conclusion that women had so dominated my young life that I wanted to join the "ruling class." This rings true for me.
4) Around four years old, I discovered my father's soft-porn stash. In it was an Argosy magazine, which did sort of true crime stories. It featured monochrome drawings in black, white & vibrant blue. One showed a picture of a Victorian age man and woman in a basement. The woman was young, busty, dark haired, naked and hanging by her wrists. (Years later I realized her looks were inspired by Betty Page.) The man had a handlebar mustache, a wild eyed look and a large butchers knife. On the shelves in the basement were skulls and obvious human bones. I did not know what to make of that. I couldn't read at the time. I took it to my mother and asked her to explain it. She explained that the man was making bones for doctors to study. She said some men went to college to learn how to do this. I asked her what college I could go to to learn how to make bones for doctors. It seemed to be a very interesting job. My mom went berserk! She screamed at me and said the man was a horrible man and monster and I should forget I ever saw these pictures!!! And the magazines disappeared!!!
I kept looking for those magazines and eventually found them again. I was about seven and just able to read enough of the story to figure it out: the man was an older man who had been jilted by a younger woman and developed a "hobby" of torturing and murdering young women in his basement.
Pretty blah, blah, but I was hooked on S&M & serial killers long before I knew what either one was.
Vibrant blue is still one of my favorite colors.
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But I soon decided that I didn't really want to torture or murder anyone. I certainly did not wish to be executed for being a serial killer. But I developed this morbid fascination for: "OMG! What would it be like to be a helpless, innocent, young woman, to be naked and hung by my wrists from the ceiling while some horrible man did awful things to me?"
That Skylar Price video does happen in the basement of some old castle or jail. With an "innocent" naked young woman! Totally rang my chimes!
And she gets a hot, soapy enema!
I so much wanted to be her!
I also would like to fuck her!
Or at least be the master who gave her the enema!
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OK, so mix all this together with guilt and self loathing from being a cross-dresser and liking enemas. I was into cross-dressing and self bondage from an early age and giving myself hot water punishment enemas. The enemas are sort of simulated sex or simulated rape, depending on the fantasy. They allow me to set something in motion that I am no longer completely in control of an which causes intense physical sensations.
Yes, that Skylar Price video really rang my chimes. So did the other one I noted under the same thread. (Once again, a naked young "innocent" woman is in a basement or dungeon while a bad man does awful things to her!)