How can I get my Daddy to take more control of me?

Sometimes my Daddy spanks my bot and other punishments. At first these punishments were difficult to take. However now I have got used to them and I would like Daddy to be more firm with me. He really doesn't want to as he doesn't want to hurt me. Any tips of persuading him that it is something I need? Also Daddy only punishes me when I indicate that I want him too. I would like Daddy to take the inititative more often while still respecting I have the right to say no?

Hi littleprincess. I suggest that Daddy sets some very demanding rules for your behavior, rules that you are certain to break. Then he can set punishments for each infraction.

Thanks I will ask him for some rules. At the moment i just make up stories that i know will get me punished.

Hi littleprincess. You might also suggest that he make you ware a vibrator which he controls. I'm thinking of an "egg" type, inserted where he thinks best!

In my opinion there are a couple different ways that you could get him to take a bit more control of you. The first one that comes to my mind without having you seem like you are topping would be to when it comes down to time for a punishment simply let him know that whatever punishment he has been giving you see now as being possibly more for babys and you feel you are ready for more rules/structure to be a good littleprincess for HIM.

Perhaps there is some confusion over 'who' is in control here. You say you have the right to say 'no'? Maybe you should consider how that changes the dynamic between you and your Daddy.

I hadn't considered the impact of saying no before. Daddy only been my daddy for six months or so previous to that we were just boyfriend and girlfriend for a few years. So the history of our previous status has probably entered our relationship. Also I asked daddy to be my daddy and I am I guess pushing the relationship which again I hadn't thought of topping. I think daddy likes being my daddy he has certainly developed alot over the last few months. I know I should allow daddy to take the lead as after all that what I need and crave. Just not sure if I stop pushing whether our relationship would continue to develop.

He probably needs to do some research into being a Dominant - read as much as he can find, see if he can find a mentor. There's a good site, the BDSM Training Academy - online, although I think they may do some real time too, that has both Dominant and sub information - do a search for it; they have some paid areas on the site so I'm not going to put the link here. I've found it very helpful as a sub not just to learn more for myself but also to learn about the workings of a Dominant's mind. (Which can be a very scary place to go!)

"I love when we play kinky. But sometimes I want more than play. I want you to punish me when I need it. And I want it to be a real punishment, which means don't have to like it and don't get to control it. It's going to hurt. And I might kick and scream. But that's part of what makes it a real punishment." Then, hand him the $7 bathbrush you bought at Walmart. He'll figure it out.

Disobey! It's always the answer. Act very pouty and disobedient and I can assure you that you will get the punishment that you crave!

Disobey! It's always the answer. Act very pouty and disobedient and I can assure you that you will get the punishment that you crave!

NOT NECESSARILY. When my submissive is bad, I ignore them and DON'T punish them, especially by spanking. I may just leave them standing in the corner or completely ignore them and leave them begging for attention.

A submissive who wants to be punished only gets punished if they are GOOD because the REAL punishment is to be ignored.

There's usually a way to initiate a conversation about limits and desires in a way that doesn't disrespect Daddy's dominance. Maybe ask for permission to write him a letter about how you're feeling?

@daddiesgirl

Remember the "this is going to hurt me more that it is you" spiel?

Punishment is always done in a loving manner....but forceful enough to make a lasting impression!

You need to talk to him, obviously. The best way is for you to be naked, with him dressed. With you physically exposed, you will be more willing to "mentally" expose your needs and desires.

Being able to speak with your dominant and having the conversations that need to happen to keep you both happy are integral to a healthy relationship. It sounds like it is time for you to both renegotiate your boundaries and think seriously about whether you are appropriate play partners for one another.

I have run into similar scenarios and the out come just like here is always the same talk to your... tell them wants needs etc. Sometimes doing that is not that easy.. the other thing is if it's too much trying to tone it down.. without upsetting or feeling like there will be disappointment

If your "daddy" is a "benevolent dictator" because he doesn't want to hurt you, you might have to resort to giving him some corporal punishment to show what you want.