Pee Shy

The not being able to go was bad, but worst was if I was able to then I couldn't prevent embarrassing my self by leaking a bit. Funny thing, when home and relaxed, I don't drip or leak.

Quite simply your animal nervous system is unthreatened once you're home and the bladder sphincter becomes under rational control. Ever wondered why you can pee easily once the guy besides you leaves the room? Or runs the tap to wash his hands? Your brain decides the water noise is safe cover for peeing and magically cooperates. No, there is no Lion in the washroom but there is something from a Wildebeest (or rather a primate) alive and well deep in your pre-human brain and looking out for you. Have a look at The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters if psychology interests you. There is a untamed primate in your brain's driving seat, that's as likely to save you life as start a fight etc.

Any of you that got rid of it entirely, how did you do it?

I have googled about pee shy, and they say it can be solved by self catheterization I am planning to try it any thought about it?

@shenalone

Yes, you can solve being pee shy if you self catheterize, but that seems a very drastic solution.

If anybody, male or female, has a catheter inserted into their bladder, they completely loose control of their pee. Completely. Once the catheter is in, absolutely nothing they can do... NOTHING... will stop the flow of pee. No matter how hard you try to stop the flow, the flow will continue. Period.

Furthermore, every self catheterization carries the risk of a UTI. No fun at all.

Catheters should be a last resort. Try finding an isolated toilet with a lot of privacy. Don't stand. Sit on the seat and relax. If there is a sink nearby, turn on the water so you can hear it splash. Fill a container with warm water and while sitting, relaxing, on the toilet seat, slowly pour the warm water over your genital area and penis and gently massage the area. If you are relaxed enough, you may well start to pee. Don't be in a rush. It sometimes takes a couple of minutes to get started.

Also, try and pee as soon as you feel the urge. Don't hold it in, because the urge will lessen over time. If you ignore the urge long enough, catheterization may be the only remedy. I found that out after a many hours long wait in ER. I was so full, the nurse would not let me leave without being catheterized. Turns out I had over 1100ml in me. Dangerously full.

If you really can't get going, you should probably see a doctor.

@shenalone

Yes, you can solve being pee shy if you self catheterize, but that seems a very drastic solution.

Furthermore, every self catheterization carries the risk of a UTI. No fun at all.

Just looking at a cath gives me a UTI - but seriously, as one who had a serious UTI you are so right about infection risk.

@reddevil

Yes, putting in a catheter does run the risk of a UTI, but if it is done very carefully, it is largely pretty safe.

A little research shows that the UTI rate is under 1%... one infection per 100 catheter insertions... but that includes incompetence too.

In my personal experience, not all nurses are good at catheter insertion. Furthermore, nurses are busy and hospitals are disease ridden.

The same probably applies to assisted living facilities and nursing homes... but more so.

That said, catheters, carefully and properly used by experts are probably pretty safe. But they require extreme care. Here are some hints:

Always use new catheters, pee bags, and insertion kits from a reputable US supplier. My personal preference is for the Dover 100% silicone. These are a blueish color and very smooth. They are a bit more expensive than the equivalent Bard, but they seem to go in easier and are definitely more comfortable. I put one in yesterday and slept with it and it is still in now. But, honestly, I cannot feel it at all. If I didn't know there was a catheter in me, I absolutely could not tell by feel. (It was wonderful not to need to get up and pee during the night) You can get cheap catheters from China, but I won't risk it.

During insertion, one must be very, very careful. If you don't know what you're doing, watch several instructional videos on YouTube, especially those by medical professionals.

Don't cut corners on sterility. If anything that is supposed to be sterile touches anything non-sterile... throw it away. A new unit is FAR less problematic than a UTI. You MUST use sterile gloves and thoroughly swab the insertion area with Betadine several times. Either lube the catheter thoroughly, or, my preference, inject 10ml of sterile lube into your pee hole. Really good lube is the key to ouchie free insertion. As you insert, keep the uninserted part of the catheter in the plastic baggie it comes in, only exposing an inch or two as you advance the catheter. If anything feels ouchie, STOP, and forget the insertion.

When pee starts to flow, insert an inch or two further, then inflate the balloon and gently pull back on the catheter to seat the balloon against the inside of your bladder. Relax and enjoy... you now have completely yielded control of your peeing.

Once the catheter has been in you for a while, you may feel some irritation where it enters your urethra. If so, gently wash the area with warm water, pulling on the catheter a bit to expose some inserted area, and then lube the catheter with an antibiotic ointment, such as Bacitracin. It'll make the insertion area nice and slippery. The area should be cleaned and relubed a couple of times a day because the catheter naturally moves in and out some.

If you use a catheter you are not overcoming shy bladder syndrome, you are just avoiding/bypassing it mechanically. You wouldn't use a catheter stood at a public urinal trough, would you? If you've the privacy of a toilet cubicle/bathroom to use a catheter, you have no reason to feel shy as you're not being watched.

Have a look at this organisation, which holds courses, real and virtual, based on the gradual exposure I mentioned and has a forum where you can meet fellow sufferers. You can even find a Pee Buddy.

https://paruresis.org/

I've had Paruresis (shy bladder) since I was a teen… I've already talked about it, but something I haven't mentioned and wonder if others like myself also find they have dreams about peeing in a restroom? Seems I have two reoccurring dreams that are like nightmares - one is where I cannot remember where I parked my car. The other is trying to find a men's room and there are none, or being in the men's room and trying to pee. What scares me is dreaming of peeing in a dream. Luckily I haven't woke up to find I've wet the bed.. So, I wonder if others who are pee-shy like me, also have dreams about it?

"If you've the privacy of a toilet cubicle/bathroom to use a catheter, you have no reason to feel shy as you're not being watched."

Eh, sadly that's not how it works. Not for me at least. Even in a cubicle or lockable bathroom, I can have issues with urinating if it's in a busy place, or when I am under a strain, like when people are waiting for me.

Having no reason isn't really what matters.

Took my sub friend to my play doctor for a thorough medical. Undressing him in the “waiting” room before taking him into the doctors surgery i took down him underpants to ensure him penis was shaved and decided to have him pee. Sadly despite my efforts he was unable to pee due to his firm erection although i enjoyed his humiliation and the pleasure of stimulating his penis and testes before introducing him to the doctor. After a lengthy “medical” and of course a heavy semen sample he was only too pleased to take his urine sample despite a still semi engorged penis.

@DarkWuff

Eh, sadly that's not how it works. Not for me at least. Even in a cubicle or lockable bathroom, I can have issues with urinating if it's in a busy place, or when I am under a strain, like when people are waiting for me.

Having no reason isn't really what matters.

Exactly the same with me - using a stall it tricky since I won't sit down on a public toilet seat, and thus I'm standing and my mind plays tricks on me since I think that others can tell this and know I have a problem…

I am not pee shy, however, one of my many jobs has been to observe men pee for urine drug testing. I was surprised at how many men are unable to pee with someone watching them. Myabe it is the context of giving a smaple for drug testing? I will run watter from a sink etc to try and help them provide a sample. All eventually do, but with some hesitation.

I am not pee shy, however, one of my many jobs has been to observe men pee for urine drug testing. I was surprised at how many men are unable to pee with someone watching them. Myabe it is the context of giving a smaple for drug testing? I will run watter from a sink etc to try and help them provide a sample. All eventually do, but with some hesitation.

Having someone stand near me or in the room would make it impossible. The ultimate preventive is attending affairs or functions where I know people; then it's impossible to use the restroom for fear someone I know would come in see I'm unable pee. I wonder @memt: did anyone ever mention having a pee-shy problem. If I had to do it with a stranger monitoring, I would mention it - and breaking the ice that way might help…

I used to be when younger, but not anymore. 😃

Second only to public speaking as far as “mental fears.”

I have never been pee shy! Love to whip it out at a public urinal!

I've had this problem as long as I can remember. The anxiety and pain (from holding it in) can be terrible. I can give so many examples, but I'll give this one. I like to fish, so, I've been out with brothers and friends on their boats over the years. They all can pee in a coffee can or over the side, not me! I get to hold it…takes all the fun out of fishing and other activities.

I've been out with brothers and friends on their boats over the years.

That's a worse case scenario for me - as I mentioned down thread, a few post ago.

I had a similar issue when younger, especially pooping. The outhouse was an open 3-holer, and I would have to walk to the lodge to avoid using it. After my time in the military, it doesn't make any difference anymore.

When you gatta pee, you gotta pee…whip it out and let fly!!! (Unless you're on the A Train!!!!)

At least I am not alone. Sounds like the beginning of a support group for those of us who are pee shy using a public urinal. I am slightly better with urinals that have dividers. I so much better if using a cubicle; I guess that it allows me to relax with privacy. Weird as naked in a shower room is fine etc. Does anyone have a theory on why this happens to us?

Some yeas ago, after an episode of POUR, my urologist ordered both a uroflow and a urodynamics test, which I described in detail in a prior post.

In the latter test, the subject is in stirrups and catheters put into their urethra (Fr 😎 and rectum and then their bladder is slowly filled with saline at about 1 ml per second, so a big fill takes about 10 minutes.. The filling continues until they leak. Then the test subject is asked to pee while being monitored. There were no nurses in the room, but I KNEW they wee just outside the door watching the readouts. Even though I was filled with probably 600 ml or more of saline and needed to pee very, very badly, I simply could not get started. After a few minutes of tying, the test was stopped and a bigger urinary catheter (Fr 16) put in and drained me, to my immense relief.

I have never been unable to pee in a public situation but have had situations where it took a bit longer than usual to get going. I never really cared for the trough style urinals that could accommodate a large number of guys at some public venues. It seems that if I may begin to feel a bit self conscious about it, a deep breath is all it takes to get going.

I used to be pee shy, but not anymore. After all of the laser and electrolysis that I’ve had, no problem! I don’t care who sees what now! Lol

I have the same problem. I have to use a stall otherwise I can't pee. Not sure what it is that makes me pee shy

Curious for those who are pee-shy, would it make a difference (meaning you'd be able to pee) if those in the rest room/bathroom with you all were completely aware of all your fetishes and kinky interests? That makes a difference in my case. If people I'm with know all about my sexual fetishes/interests, I then have no problem going in their presence. The flip-side of this is that if I'm with family or friends who do not know, then it is impossible for me to go.

It's reassuring to hear from fellow sufferers on this thread. I'm pee shy, as I mentioned further up the thread. Many of the situations and feelings that people describe resonate with my own. And like some other contributors, I'm not shy about my penis being seen or being seen naked. It's just the problem of getting the waterworks flowing.

Curious for those who are pee-shy, would it make a difference (meaning you'd be able to pee) if those in the rest room/bathroom with you all were completely aware of all your fetishes and kinky interests?

No, that would not help me at all. When I'm standing at a urinal, I'm not thinking about any of my fetishes or kinky interests. The only thing on my mind at that moment is, “Come on already. Pee damn you, pee!”.