The 69 Myth

Find it far more pleasurable to take it in turns. You can concentrate more on giving and when it is your turn to receive you can enjoy without having to reciprocate.

Laura and I use the 69 position frequently, but we don't try for simultaneous orgasms. We found that trying to do that takes away from the sensuality of our play.. We much prefer to help ourselves and each other with fingers etc. and putting on a sensual show for each other at the same time. Communication is important and if one of us gets an ‘urgency’ to orgasm the other gives her space to do so and helps as much as possible without interfering. Sensuality is very important to both of us.

@Annie3434 : Thats so wonderful and with a lot of respect and love to each other. I agree totally with you.

Never tried it. Been in this position with a woman but we were more exploring one another's bodies, not oral sex. Never 69 with a guy.

I am 71 and I can tell you 69 has not been a myth for me and most of the women I have lived with.

A myth for me would be the so called 71 position which I heard of only recently. 71 would be 69 with both partners having a thermometer up their ass during thé action. Having a strong rectal temperature fetish, I regret I never had the Idea to try it.

I guess it could happened! This is my favorite position. But I think it is difficult to have orgasms at the same time since you can’t really focus on enjoy it since you are focused on pleasing your partner

But personally I think a 69 is grossly overrated. It is similar to sex in the shower.

Agree about 69; but sex and fooling around while showering was allot of pleasure - especially if you'r timid about going down on a gal, as it's difficult to resist a super clean, well you get the picture. 😜😜😄

My wife likes the position and the juices start flowing quickly. I have a really warm enema ready for her and a large very soft silicone nozzle ready to put in. She will be sucking and licking keeping me ready. We have a signal we use for enema play, when she puts her finger on my anus I start pushing the big rubber nozzle into her and work it in and out a bit. When she pushes her finger into me I open the clamp and start working on her clitoris faster while humming. It works really well for her and she watches in the ceiling mirrors. I stop her enema and as she settles down begin to give her another big release and the second time around she finishes the enema. After she gets cleaned up we swap and she goes on top and the play book runs about the same.

I still think this is one of the hottest positions - so close, warm and intimate. Vunerable too. Hot.

I stopped doing the 69, it is nice at first, then one will overpower the other and both lose!! It is more gratifying by doing one and then the other!!!

As a gay total bottom who was married to a woman half my life (religious conditioning), i have several perspectives on this one. Like pretty much all things sexual, i don't think there is a standard 'yes' or 'no' answer to this, that it depends on the individuals involved.

When i was with a woman, sex was never 'right' for me (and i suspect for her either). i got good at oral with her. When we first married, it was all fireworks the first couple of weeks. We married as virgins. and orgasm came easily to both of us. The first time she did not orgasm, she broke down and cried telling me i didn't care. The reality is, i was clueless. i knew basic high school anatomy stuff, but realistically didn't no how to work her parts... but i learned, i was easily manipulated by tears lol. Up to then, it had all been intercourse, so this started me on giving her oral. That worked, it wasn't long before sex for her always involved multiple orgasms. But oral alone did not satisfy her, she needed to be penetrated and would literally grab my penis and shove me in, or beg me to put it in. We were together 31 years, and i can count on one hand the times she did not have an orgasm, and that was early on, the first months of our marriage. No matter what kind of approach, i trained myself not to orgasm until she did, i did not ever want to be accused of not caring again.

We did eventually get around to 69, but she did not like giving oral to me, and it was clear. Really, i think we were simple grossly mismatched sexually, not only was i gay, i am also total bottom psychosexually... and so was she. One of the most frustrating parts of our sex life for me is she never took the giving position, she was 110% receiver. She had very strict ideas of role, and it was my responsibility to give both her and myself pleasure. She would even put it that way: "I want you to pleasure yourself with me." That summed up her view on how sex should be. If she touched my penis or gave me oral, it was always just to arouse me and she'd stop as soon as i became erect and expect me to take over. In the thousands of times we had sex, she masturbated me to completion a few times, and never orally.

With this foundational disposition, 69 was not really a thing with us and i never experienced the mutual energy of each simultaneously trying to pleasure the other in that position because it was always my role to provide both of us with pleasure. She's the only woman i have ever been with, so speaking hetero, i have nothing to compare to.

It took me a long time to process out of my religious conditioning against being gay. It was never a matter of denial with me, i knew from an early age that i'm attracted to Guys, i just believed i was "broken, sinful, sick, etc.." Not all that uncommon for a gay guy from my generation. But i did process very thoroughly through it and came out with a lot of understanding and the process of de-conditioning was complete.

One of my major take aways was understanding how i am wired total bottom with a fair amount of sub. i subscribe to the spectrum theory of sexuality and know i am at the far end of the spectrum and i match up best with "Total Tops who have some Dom nature as well Who are at the other end of that spectrum. Again, i think sex is individually experienced, i know who and how i am sexually, and tend to match well with Guys who have reached that place in Their own life as well. Versatile guys don't tend to 'get' me because many don't seem to grasp that not everyone is versatile lol. Some do, and i have had some great versatile 'fuck buddies' Who understood and accepted me a total bottom sub and we only got together sexually when they were feeling Top. Interesting stuff. Some can choose and turn Their Top/bottom switch on or off, others need/want to have both with a guy. The former work with me, the latter don't.

lol... is anyone still reading this? i swear, for me, it's all part of the 69 discussion for me.

The 'urban dictionary' has an accurate definition of 'total bottom' where i am concerned. my attraction is to a Total Top Man. To me a Man/man with a 'cock' is a Man/man Who/who has the need/desire to use His/his penis to penetrate another person with... this is already too long a post, but i also see a Man/man with a 'cock' as having attributes like wanting/needing to create, control/be in charge sexually. As a bottom/sub i fit into the complimentary position of being the receiver of His penetration. It's as if i have a place in me that can only be filled by a Man who has the complimentary needs/desires to penetrate/fill/possess, etc..

i don't perceive myself as having a 'cock.' Sure, i know i have a penis, but it's not wired in me psychosexually as a "cock." i have met Total Tops Who want/need that, Who also do not see me as having a 'cock.' Some of them like to use my penis sexually, but not to make me orgasm that way, but to edge and make me horny for Their 'cock,' and that alines perfectly with how i experience my penis as well.

Retrospectively, i can see how similar (in a few ways) my wife and i were. She loved oral to get her to a place where she craved to be penetrated, but not as a way to orgasm, and i'm the same way. i've come to wonder if my sexual wiring isn't somewhere between male and female? idk. i don't perceive myself as female or trans, but it's like i'm a guy with a clit and a pussy, and there are Guys out there Who need/want that and we match up.

When it comes to 69 with those guys, they are not usually touching my penis, but rimming my hole as i suck Their Cock, and it can be a wonderful position when the chemistry is as described above. The only time i can connect to having my penis stimulated by a Man is if His desire/need is clearly to use it to connect to my need/desire for Him. Bluntly, the only Cock i have/desire/need is the one a Man gives me. It actually works really well because it's symbiotic, each get's what they need/desire, just by being who and how they are. So the sort of competition, struggle that some experience with 69, where one gets and the other gives, is not a factor. Both are getting and giving.

There's so much more to this, but i'll stop, sorry for the long post.

@tallslenderguy said:

When we first married, it was all fireworks the first couple of weeks. We married as virgins. and orgasm came easily to both of us. The first time she did not orgasm, she broke down and cried telling me i didn't care.

@Lora_C had the philosophy that you were responsible for your own orgasms. Excellent philosophy! While you share sex with your partner, you own and are responsible for your pleasure vs putting that on your partner. My wife never made me feel inadequate if she didn’t cross the finish line, nor did I if she finished first

We both enjoy oral, 69 just didn’t do much for us. We both found it not all that satisfying because it was difficult to concentrate on the other while reciprocating . We found it much better to take turns giving oral. It offered better access. Plus we often ended up rimming which was more difficult simultaneously. Fucking was different, there wasn’t the distraction, and if either got off before the other, there were fingers, toys, mouths etc. to finish.

@Lora_C had the philosophy that you were responsible for your own orgasms. Excellent philosophy! While you share sex with your partner, you own and are responsible for your pleasure vs putting that on your partner. My wife never made me feel inadequate if she didn’t cross the finish line, nor did I if she finished first

i think i agree with this, but experience a variation on the "philosophy." my particular ideas/desires re orgasms have some unusual angels? For me, sex is about connection with the Guy i'm with and i can experience what for me is a very deep and profound connection when there's a mutual desire/chemistry in this. i love a dynamic where i give 'ownership' of my orgasm to the Man i am with. Which to may way of thinking is still me being responsible for my own orgasm, i can give it away or take it back, it's my "responsibility," and it has to be mutual. i.e., i have no desire to place that expectation on a partner, rather, i like a partner Who likes and wants that. Not an unusual desire/need me thinks with straights or gay or ______________. Chastity comes to mind.

An additional desire i have, that i find less frequently, is as part of my way of connecting i love to share one orgasm (His) between us. Most people seem to think this weird, but i really like this. It becomes part of the focus, attraction and bond of opposites for me. When a Man has His orgasm inside of me, in a very real way for me, His orgasm transfers from Him to me and becomes my orgasm. lol, i know... sigh, it's largely psychological, but the experience and bond is very real to me when it's mutual. my penis, edging, stimulation can be used as part of this dynamic to increase, intensify and maintain my hunger for His orgasm... which process with the right Guy, brings us both an intense pleasure dynamic. There's decided mind fuck and control involved. But it's still mutual choice. It's not as if He is taking anything from me, i am giving Him that control... and it's not a question of me expecting Him to 'take' that control, He has to want it. In that way (as i see it) it is still us each being responsible for our own pleasure and orgasm.

I’ve definitely had simultaneous orgasms with my ex during 69, but she usually wanted me to shoot my sperm deep into her cunt so she could feel it leak out into her panties over the next day or two. When I would cum during 69, it would be down her throat, since she was quite talented at deepthroating. We both loved when I’d stick my tongue far up her ass, and sometimes she’d wear a Feeldoe and I’d suck on that, which transmitted the motion nicely to the egg portion inside her and could give her a g-spot orgasm.

The handful of times I’ve had 69 it was never meant to be the final act, rather than just the start. Wifie is very vanilla, and takes a little helping to play. I do very much enjoy seeing my wife writhe with waves of pleasure, especially as she’s returning the favor, it’s like a möbius strip of pleasure!

IMHO it’s not a myth but for me it is definitely overrated. This is very likely a minority view around here, but I would much rather give oral sex to a woman than receive it. For me a woman’s kitty is an endless fascination, and while receiving oral sex is pleasant, I derive greater pleasure from seeing and feeling my partner tremble. My reward comes (cums?) with blowing my load deep inside her hot, wet cooch.

Not a fan of 69. I'd rather put all my attention on my partner or them on me. It just seems a bit much to me. I'm sure some people enjoy it but not me

Not a myth as far as I'm concerned. Having a woman come while we are involved in 69 is usually enough to put me over the top and I will come in her mouth while she is still in the throws of her orgasm. Doesn't happen all the time, but often enough that I certainly wouldn't say it was a myth.

That being said. I have had partners who have found it too distracting being eaten while they were sucking me and preferred to finish me, then have me finish them. Everyone's different. That's what makes it exciting. 😃

When I was very fit, 69 was a favorite of mine - with the right partner. I adore burying my face and all my attention in a beautiful set of labia and would go through all kinds of effort to deliver the best "ride" possible. On occasion, it became quite sporting - "just try and distract me" or " who gets the other to cum first" games. Good times.

It was always most interesting to carry my victim and continue the event while standing. Man, I get hard just thinking about it! These days I enjoy laying on my back with a squirming face full riding my tongue inescapably as I hold her hips! If I get anything from it is irrelevant.