Completely normal desires

The thing is, all of this is relative to culture and period. In the United States, not so long ago, laws were such that "unnatural" or "deviant" sex (oral and anal) were criminalized (despite no indication that they created problems to society). My mother considered cunnilingus to be a disgusting perversion. Now, I gather that a young man is going to be considered selfish if not proposing cunnilingus to partner.

As @doc4u72 stresses, "normal" has a statistical meaning that should not be imbued with judgment; it sorts of mean "near average". Certainly one would not call a short or tall person "abnormal"; there are less inflammatory words for it.

My own guidelines are: is your fetish harmless to others? harmless to you? does it obsess you to the point that you cannot function in social life?

As @doc4u72 stresses, "normal" has a statistical meaning that should not be imbued with judgment; it sorts of mean "near average". Certainly one would not call a short or tall person "abnormal"; there are less inflammatory words for it.

Unless they're your sibling. Then there's a pretty good chance you'll find the most inflammatory word possible to describe them 😂

That is indeed the problem, because if we did, we'd be thought a bunch of perverts. I've tried and hinted often enough with friends to start a conversation on the subject, on any sexual subject actually and nothing ever comes of it.

@agracier hopefully you can find some open minded friends where you live. I live in an area that most would describe as conservative and behind the times but I have been able to find many like minded kinky friends.

I feel very normal, but what would all the people i know think if they knew i liked to have a couple of litres of soapy water pumped up my ass, or pushing a lump of soap up me and shitting it out into a disposable diaper ?

In the case of a vegetarian or vegan diet it will not only be a natural desire but a requirement to cleanse your large intestine in a regular manner, for example by taking daily a soapy enema.

It occurred to me that one of the reasons we of the Zity community feel so outside the bounds of normalcy is that we are constantly comparing our insides with other people's outsides. We have no idea what lies within the minds of most people we see on the streets or in our workplace every day. Not one person in a million would openly share the kinds of thoughts that we on Zity share openly amongst ourselves every day. Zity is an amazingly open community. Amazing!

I suspect that while most people we see would never openly share the kinds of thoughts 'we' have, a huge number DO actually have such thoughts. I suspect the vast majority have a 'kink' or 'fetish' of some kind, some to a greater extreme than other's. In my view, provided their fetish doesn't harm anyone and brings some pleasure and or release from the strains of everyday living, good luck to them. Here's to ALL kinksters - have a fantastic day!!

Everyone has desires of some form. As long as you aren't harming anyone, then I don't see the point in labeling one as normal and another as abnormal.

I know people have desires like having sex on a beach, having a threesome, having sex in a public space or joining the "mile high club." How is fantasizing about about putting your finger in someone's rectum or vagina is a doctor's office any more or less normal than fantasizing about having sex on an airplane?

My interest in Medical scenarios stems from the fact that it is one of the only places where a normal female, be she wife, mother, married, single, religious, teacher, whatever; will take off her clothes when asked to by a man who has no relationship with her, may even be a complete stranger whom she has just met, simple because his profession is Doctor. There is no other situation in our society where this occurs! So even though we all know the perfectly legitimate reasons for this, the image of this event , imagined or real, is extremely erotic to most men. Knowing that during some examinations the male doctor will insert his fingers or some device into the vaginas and/or anus of these women makes the situation almost obscenely exciting.

Therefore I dispute calling a man's interest in these matters a "Fetish". If one has no other sexual turn-ons I acknowledge that this could be a problem, But I view my own interest in things Medical (pictures, videos and stories) as perfectly normal for any red-blooded Male.

I have had my own specific (see my screen name) medical fetish for a very, very long time. Many times I attempted to get up close and personal with it, accept it, become one with it, blah blah, but 8 times out of 10, I would end a solo play session with something rather negative like, "What's wrong with you??". If I stop to think about how long I did this, I would probably be more embarrassed about that, than the embarrassment my own fetish was causing me.

And then, well, a few years ago, a Google search for my fetish turned up this site. I did a lot of lurking and reading. The things some people said were as if they were reading my mind. A lightbulb finally went off. Or on, or whatever. Something finally freaking clicked.

I don't have a specific moment or event that I could point to when I finally "got it" that it was normal. Talking about it with other people, specifically with people like me, most certainly cemented it for me, finally, after all these years.

My high school bff helped me feel more normal about it. We shared a lot of the same fears & arousal about it. But I still felt like a freak for a long time. Certain Zity friends help a lot.

Wow reading through all this is like night and day opposite responses. I clearly fall into the ...it's most likely all normal...side of the fence unless your desire involves non consent or harm.

With respect to the perspectives on "everything about medical interest is abnormal" - I just can't wrap my head around that. Obviously we all probably have very different ideas of what we even consider medical playing to be in the first place, let alone what turns us on about it. But it really is like comparing just about anything else - I really do not like escargot but I'm up for an old fashioned plate of liver and onions. Which of those are abnormal - neither really, just different.

The curious thing to me about human sexuality is that we are purposely built to enjoy sex totally aside from reproduction of species purposes. Unlike the rest of the animal and other living things world, perpetuating the species and enjoying the act of perpetuating the species are both totally different purposes on equal footing. The difference is that humans experience both primal stimulation and mental stimulation around sex and around those things we conjure up that arouse us sexually. This hyped up awareness around sexual awareness and pleasure is exactly what makes us superior to primal sex alone. How on earth can something so intentionally activated and advanced be considered abnormal?

I don't think they're 'normal'. Normal is defined as Conforming to a standard, usual, typical, expected. A fetish is, by definition, outside the parameters of normal. I think that if friends and/or family knew what got me going or what I got up to with my husband or lovers they would think me the very opposite of normal.

What made me decide it was OK to indulge in these deviations from the norm was finding a partner who was also deviated in a similar way to mine. For US in our closed world they're normal. To the world in general, what we do isn't normal.

This is not a question of 'normal', as all kinks are not 'normal' but acceptance. Being able to accept own desires and preferences. It can be not easy, especially for submissives.

Oh yes - all the word's and sentences, which are written here, maybe right in this context !! - but who will really judge it ??

The people in many part's of the world don't behave in a " normal way ", i would mean !! - and so for me the word " normal " is only a designation for a programm of the washing - machine !!

Also for sure i would never have a talk to my family - member's or friend's about my " fetish - desires ", but that is another point !! - when two adult people acting in their bedroom, interesting in " special things ", let them go for it !!