I've returned to an old pleasure! Last night about 6 p.m. I mixed up one and a half litres of psyllium gel (4 parts water to one part psyllium husk powder by volume ), and shaped it into a total of 12 'turds' each about 40 mm diameter and 100 mm long. Quickly I filled a bulb syringe with plain water and injected it into my anus, expelling it at once. This was to lubricate my rectum and lower descending colon, using the colon's own mucus to do the job.
Then I dipped two of the 'turds' into water, and loaded them into my special pump barrel with the plunger fully extended. You can see this if you look up in the Devices and Equipment section of the Gallery on this site. The entry is called 'Bespoke Equipment.' I lubricated my anus and the outer surface of the pump barrel with soap. Then I worked the whole barrel up my bum until the inner tube valve stem was resting against my perineum. This took a while the first time it went in, as its outside diameter is about 56 mm (2.2"). The delivery end was then in my descending colon, having passed clean through the rectum. I wanted to get all the gel I had mixed into me, so I knew it would need to go deep. In the knee-elbow position, I backed up against the bathroom wall and slowly forced the plunger in. After it was halfway in, I could reach round and grab it with a hand and send it home. Then I paused about 30 seconds with the barrel still in me to let the injected 'turds' settle down before pulling the pump right out of me. Taking these precautions meant that the injected pump load did not come right back out: gravity held it in and the water on its surface prevented it from sticking to the piston.
Repeating this procedure six times, I put the whole litre and a half up my bum and into my descending colon. It was quite exciting to feel my gut getting tighter and heavier with each load! I had to go slower with the last couple of loads, as by then my descending colon was quite full, and the 'new entries' needed to push the large mass inside me higher up and further in. Also, some air gets trapped along with the 'turds' as they are injected, so I allowed time for some serious farting to make more room. Feeling delightfully stuffed, I cleaned and put away all the equipment and went back to my computer to do some work. Later I had supper and returned to work. The mass in me was very heavy and the occasional dull cramp made me a bit uncomfortable; but my colon was so stretched that the cramps couldn't get a good grip on the load and it stayed mostly quiet. I enjoy this bit!
Around 11 p.m. I went and tried to expel, but nothing at all happened, despite a lot of strain. I should have told you that the last four 'turds' were mixed quite a bit stiffer than the rest. This was to make it harder for the emerging end of the mass inside me to get into my rectum at all. Evidently, it had worked as intended! From past experience, I knew that by then the gel 'turds' would have fused into a solid mass, having absorbed the small amount of water on their surfaces.
I went and hooked up my 'gel turd extractor.' This needs a bit of explaining as it's new. If you look carefully at the aerator nozzle on a mixer tap (faucet, US) you will see it has two small flats machined into it. With the right spanner it unscrews easily. So I unscrewed it, went to a hardware store and found a matching coupler with the same thread on one end, and on the other, a thread that allowed the fitting of a male quick connector for a garden hose. This gadget (coupler plus male quick connect) converts a bathroom basin (sink, US) tap to fit any garden hardware. The other part of the gel turd extractor is a simple plastic tube of 13 mm ( 1/2") outside diameter and about 3 m (9'10") long. One end of this has the tube invaginated (turned inwards on itself) by about 6 mm (1/4") to give a smooth end for inserting up my bum. The other is fitted with a female quick connector.
I screwed the adapter into the tap, ran the water to a brisk stream and adjusted the temperature to be comfortably warm; then tossed the business end of the tube into the adjacent shower area and hooked the tube up to the adapter. I should explain that my shower area has curtains and not a rigid enclosure. Removing my pants and underpants, I stepped into the shower and squatted, after lubricating my hole with soap. Easing the tube into myself, I was able to probe around and place the tip alongside the bulging end of the mass in my colon. Then with a harder shove, it began to slide up between the mass and the wall of my colon. Continuing in this way, with the water just streaming out of me. I got almost 460 mm (about 18") of tube inside. Then I gently 'bore down' with my abdomen and rectum, sealing the tube to the mass inside me and the colon wall. I could feel the pressure building up under my ribs where the tip of the tube was discharging the water above the colon's contents. This was just lovely! I didn't have to do any more work to get the mass to move, and it started to shove into my rectum and to emerge. It is hard to describe the sensation of this expulsion; but it is smooth, very stimulating to the prostate and kind of majestic! It is the kind of thing I wish could go on forever - or at least until I have fully savored it. At last I had a truly impressive object flop on to the floor beneath me, followed by a rush of clear water. The 'turd' was a single piece about 450 mm long. It had a bulge near the upper end where the diameter was almost 125 mm (5") and tapered down to say 63 mm (21/2") at the leading end. And it was clean - not mixed with any nasties. So I broke it in pieces, scrubbed the colon mucus off it and saved it.
This afternoon, after lunch, I put it back inside me and it's still there! Of course, in getting it out it absorbed a bit of water, so it's probably more like 1,7 litres (almost half a US gallon, or 3 imperial pints) now. I'm nice and full; accidents are impossible and I'll have fun getting it out later. If it's still clean, l might even save it again!
Johnny