Getting him to live out my fantasy

Like many of you out there I have had a life long interest in enemas. Mostly I have masterbated to several lovely fantasies that I enjoy, centered around a Dominant man having to give me an enema. It is not my choice. Sometimes it is 'forced', sometimes sexual.

Over the years I thought I had decided that, at least once before I die, I wanted to experience what I have thought about a million times! At first it seemed the challenge was to find a man to give the enema. I met a few men with the express purpose of enema play. For various reasons, these meetings did not end with enema play. Finally I confessed to my BF about my fetish. He is enthusiastic. We do some Dominant/submissive sex which I love, and enemas would play into that.

However, despite BF knowing about my fetish for months, he has not given me any. Asking him to do it isn't what makes me hot. And I think that I have decided that it is NOT just the enema, but a whole fanatasy of Dominant men, being taken anally, etc. The fantasies are elaborate, similar to Intimate Invasions, but have more emotional intimacy to them. Basically, I am afraid that simple D/s enema play will not come close to what I have been wanting. Maybe I should leave the fantasy alone or I will ruin what I have?

For those who finally lived out their enema desires, was it as good as the fantasy? How did you get your partner to understand not just the enema, but also the fantasy? Or did it matter?

Fantasies are where it all starts. I'm of the opinion that 80% of the pleasure comes from the mental building of the scenario that is about to occur. If you haven't got a guy that can lead you by imaginative suggestions, sometimes over days or even longer, you'll be disappointed. Just having something done to you doesn't do much if the brain is out of touch. If you can get him, or someone that will, to get you thinking and dreaming, the event will be all you can imagined and maybe more with a properly skilled person. Sometimes the other person just doesn't get it, no matter how much you try to encourage. I think that is why many of us are on this board. We are looking for people that do get it and want to interact with them. Sometimes it leads to real contact, other times it plays out in cyber fantasy which can be very good.

Fantasy's are virtually 100% mental, without a doubt, and enemas are right at the top of the list for me when it comes to sexual fantasies. My spouse has known for years (since before we were married actually)of my enema fetish, and did indulge me a few times years ago, but has since decided (apparently) that they're not something she particularly enjoys.......so I'm strictly solo. I would love willful and spontaneous participation, but if I have to ask, the erotic aspect of receiving an enema, coupled with a nice back and butt-rub diminishes substantially. I still drop hints, but they seem to fall on "deaf ears".

A very thought provoking post enemasubgirl! Like you, my partner doesn't fulfill my enema fantasies. Can one person ever satisfy another's fantasy? Is the fantasy how we cope we unfulfilled wants? Like you, I still would like to live my fantasy once just to see what happens. Good luck on your journey.

I can only add to the thoughtful responses that the fantasy will never go away. When thinking about your future with this person that is an important issue which nobody can tell you how to balance with the many other mutual and deoendent needs a successful marriage requires. Mine were about 80% fulfilled, but I believe I had a 100% happy marriage of 46 years,

Something to definitely keep in mind is that some fantasies brought to fruition are wonderful, but there are some fantasies that if brought to reality fall flat and can then kill off the pleasurable aspect of the fantasy. Some fantasies are better left as fantasies, leave them in their virtual world. The problem is being able to distinguish which should be brought to reality and which left in the virtual world.

It is true that some fantasies can fall flat, but if you are not willing to give them a trial run, you'll never know. I think the adventure of taking the risk fulfills at least some of the fantasy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained and you might win!

Thanks for the replies. At first I thought I was just getting nervous because I might actually experience an enema with someone else; it might be embarrassing to reveal all my equipment and naughty desires. It is a bit humiliating. But, I do think it has a lot to do with the fantasy falling flat. Part of it is that BF is not a natural Dom, and even though I crave that at times, try as he might he doesn't always 'get it.' So, I think the enema play might be the same. And actually at the root of it is that the one element I really desire in both enema and D/s play is a man that understands how sexy those whispers in my ear can be, telling me what he is going to do, building anticipation, making me speak out loud what is going to happen or why I want it, allowing me to protest (but not really!) and knowing he will make it happen anyway, he is in control.

In a perfect world your mate would be able to just perfectly play out your fantasy without any direction or coaching on your part. But in the real world that is a rather rare occurrence. It sounds like your b/f is at least willing to help fulfill your fantasies, you might have to direct him to get it right. Will take a little time and its probably not going to be perfect in the beginning but its not always how you start but how you end up. This will require some risk in putting your inner self 'out there' but what is the worst that could happen? He moves on? Then he wasn't the guy for you anyway.

Greg

Aw! You guys are too cooperative. I want someone who is reluctant to submit to the administration of an enema.

"No Way! Been there; done that. The enema hurts."

"I ain't takin no enema. My belly ache will go away."

"Nooooo! Please don't gimme an enema. I don't want to take an enema, Daddy."

Speedstick77@ That's part of the point exactly; it's not just the mechanics of getting the enema. It would be very erotic to plead with Daddy to not want the enema, "Please, No!" knowing that I was in the hands of a man who understood and loved the consentual nonconsent of resisting the enema. Me, knowing there was no way out, that I would be forced to get it no matter what fuss I put up.

Gregg sums it up very well. G-- willing, you will find that person.

sex gets people married, doesn't always last, which is why I make my living as a divorce lawyer. But---

Fantasy's do NOT go away.

Gdfru

Everybody is right about the fantasy...it's a mind game that you play with yourself. But once you put the ideas(fantasies) into play they change! I've thought about certain fantasies and tried to put them into stories, only to find when I read them the feeling and desire is lost, so I can't expect the reader to interpret it the way I wrote it. Does that make sense? To an extent you can live out your fantasy, if you aren't too critical about the details. Dream on.

@redqt2 Thanks for your reply. What you say does make sense. Perhaps I should pursue the fantasy and not work so hard to 'act it out', rather make it another fantasy of it's own?

An enema for me by my wife or by me for her will remain a fantasy for some time to come. I do look forward my first medical procedure where an enema prep is required. I hope my wife is receptive to giving it to me and I plan on a very sensual response when she does. Hopefully it will lead to a lot more that are erotic rather than medical in nature.

Just as an update. I finally decided the issue with wanting to live the fantasy was my own shame and humiliation. Action (filling the bag) would show desire and lust. How embarrassing to admit a love of enemas?! However, serious thought, some encouragement from you all, and a small 'detour' pushed me into living out my thoughts. I finally received my first real enemas (2) from my BF. And although it wasn't the Dom/sub roleplay off the bat, he actually liked giving the enemas and is wanting to try more. I can see that real life will not be the fantasies I have had, but I must admit I have grown emotionally and sexually from the experience more than I would have imagined. Thanks to you all for the advice!

I'm glad you found what you're looking for. I broach the subject with every potential partner. I'm past the point of being embarrassed about it because I've found so many positive responses.

Reading through the string, it struck me how important fantasies are and can become, especially when they include deep desires that go ungratified. Now that you, enemasubgirl, have lived out your fantasy with your boyfriend (and congrats on that, btw), has he expressed any fantasies of his own? Now that the two of you have passed through this threshold, who knows what might await.

Arianna

Yo enemasubgirl , you are lucky , your BF is moving in the good direction , you must encourage him , it is mandatory to let him see ask him to look at you all the pleasure you ar receiving from his cares , move your muscles , move your body , to lethim participate at your arousal . Learn him to lead you to higher arousal . Ask him if he will try the same on him , receiving an enema while the mouth of your lover is sucking you is huge , feeling the stroke of her hand , the pressure of the water inside , her warm hand on your balls . After the anal games when you clean , give him a kiss on her ass , with your tongue ; and don't forget to propose him to kiss you too .

Other way that can help you is to share a long passionate kiss when expelling , right after expelling wipe him clean or let you wipe clean , and don't forget kisses .

What is the most arousend your self loving exercises or to share the passion you are living ?

You receive love give him so much as you receive , and LET HIM NOW .

The first time it will be not easy , OK , learn then , self learning YES , self loving NO , so remember always that you must share the arousal , and not only telling him (in the worth case) oh my dear I am coming, I come , this some words is not sharing passion .