Sub-space

Subspace? .. I have only read about or heard about getting there though pain... is there other ways?... I am still working on figuring out how to put my slave "there"...

-definitions?

-characteristics? (from both Dom and Sub's perspective)

-pros's and con's?

-getting there

-making it last

-after care

-effects... especially after the event on a relationship

any other comments, knowledge or advice is welcome..

thanks,

Lady_RC 🌹

Subspace is that frame of mind, where you have a deep sense of submission and emotional connection with your dominant.

see this: http://www.steel-door.com/Sub_Space.html

Once in subspace, I have a sense of complete relaxation despite being restrained and unable to move or the presence of exhaustion or pain.

I don't think there are any cons to subspace. That emotional space can give me a complete sense of renewal when the scene is over and my husband and I are in each other's arms.

You can enter subspace through pain, servitude, or bondage, which can be physical or emotional. I can't say much about subspace and servitude because neither my husband nor I are into servitude. Entering through pain can be via physical or emotional pain. Physical pain is easier to apply. Emotional pain often requires bringing up real life situations that may be better left in real life, not your S&M scenes of fantasy. Bondage can be physical restraints like rope, chain, leather, etc., or it can be emotional restraints such as being forced to lay supine with your arms held high above your chest holding a coin between your two index fingers on your two hands. Dropping the coin can be grounds for severe physical punishment. Alternatively, a stern "DON'T DARE MOVE A MUSCLE" can be a severe form of bondage. It gives you the opportunity to just contemplate the world.

After care is extremely important after severe corporal punishment. The idea is not to punish the person for real life wrong doings or shortcomings, but to create a fantasy situation. Introducing real life hurtful situations into S&M scenes can be extremely dangerous and emotionally hurtful to the submissive and possibly harmful to the dominant if the submissive breaks down and strikes back at the dominant in earnest. Keep real life out of your scenes. Holding and nurturing the submissive partner is very important following a severe scene. This is the time for showing your love for each other and your appreciation to each other for making the scene happen.

Well said, Susie. I envy you your relationship - it sounds so honest and open. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on sub-space.

I only experience subspace when I am either being flogged or caned. It is different for everyone. For my it is like getting a tattoo my endorphins kick in and everything just becomes a tunnel. I actually was so lost in subspace last time that I started crying for no reason. I use to always think I have not found out what it is, until my best friend flogged me.

Good luck you will find it!

I have had the good luck to put a few women into sub space and they all tell of similar experiences. It is pretty easy to tell as the Dom when your sub goes there.

It's a drug in pure form, an adrenaline rush. There are several ways to obtain sub space but I find pain to be the easiest way for me. When I am near my breaking point I often become combative (why they make restraints!)I am compliant until the point that my fight or flight kicks in and then I often want to scream and fight... then the rush kicks in and I feel no pain.For me the initial "no pain" rush last approximately 15 min. Thereafter I will become cold and begin to shiver. My body will become heavy and sensitivity to touch and pain returns with a vengeance. Usually i would want to lie down with a blanket as my mind continues to float. On occasion I will begin to cry not sobbing, but silent tears.. not because I'm sad..just because.

This act of give and take has always brought my partner and i closer together.We wouldn't do it if we didn't both take something from it.

Watch out cause if it is done right the next day she/he will suffer sever sub drop(headache, sleepy,moody, emotional all this on top of a possibly beat and bruised body 😉

Hi for me its via pain as you relax into it thats when I start riding the adrenaline and the endorphins . One of the best ways is having my balls pulled. So Mistress gets her hands around my sack above my balls and just starts to pull and squeeze . Just slowly but increasing the pressure , the feeling is intense . The same effect is if Mistress sits up I lie on my back head between her thighs face up smotherd by her breasts. Mistress starts to torture my nipples as I slowly play with my cock, not to climax! Again I go to another place difficult to describe but once you have experienced it you want to go back.

My best experience with subspace was being caned publicly at The Citadel in San Francisco. Afterwards the Dom told me I literally pushed my buttocks forward and reached out for the cane. I quickly learned there are two sensations in being caned - when it strikes and when it pulls away. the pulling away being much more painful. Tried as he might, he never got a safe word out of me. I think I wore him out!

Completely amazing. I've only had a few sessions where I feel like I've entered subspace. After the sessions I've felt the most powerful intimate connections with my bf.

Doc and I have experienced this sub space one time each I believe. Because Doc and I only see each other every 3 months or so, we have to compact everything we do into that one week, which means all the sex, love making, talking face to face, cuddling, discussions on things we don't agree on and whatever. Because of this, and because we are believers in domestic discipline, we do actually spank each other for real issues. However because we are into domestic discipline and are spanking accordingly, there may be feelings hurt or ruffled during the spanking, but after we both, whether giving or getting, is able to be completely done with it. We are both relieved emotionally, feel more loved, and can be done with that particular issue.

It was during one of these domestic discipline sessions, that we entered into sub space. It happened to him first. I had him tied up in 4 point restraints, and I was spanking him, hard but not beating him or anything. Suddenly he was pulling at his restraints and getting pretty vocal. Finally he told me to stop, which is the first and only time I have ever heard him say stop. I stopped. He was sort of getting a little harsh as I was undoing his restraints. And again, he never does that. As I was undoing his last restraint he did a 180 and told me to tie him back up and to keep going. I followed his lead and did as he requested. I continued. 5 seconds later after I had started spanking him again he started sobbing and crying. I continued for another minute or so and then finished. I released him and then cradled him in my arms. Once he settled down, he explained to me what and where his mind was at, even though to this day I don't think either of us fully understand. In the end, the reason for his spanking was dealt with and done with. He also was able to deal with a few things from his past that he hadn't been able to face, and now those are done and in the past too. It was a fantastic healing session for him, and we talk about that session a lot, he is so thankful I was able to take him there.

For me it happened maybe a year later, again, we were doing the domestic discipline thing, but I was on the receiving end. He doesn't restrain me, so I was in knee/chest position. About a minute into it I suddenly found myself crying as well. And I seem to remember right before I started crying I to was being a bit mouthy/resentful. He continued to spank me and lecture me even though I was crying. I wasn't pulling away, and I never said stop. The thought simply didn't cross my mind. Some how deep down I knew I needed it, I somehow wanted it. When he was done we laid together and cuddled each other. I seem to remember getting very cold suddenly too for some reason or another which I also don't understand. Medical common sense would tell me it's because I was coming down off of a mental and physical rush. I was also very tired. We both felt so much closer to each other when this happened to us. I mean we couldn't be any closer I don't think, but just put us on an even higher level than before.

I too want to be taken back to sub space and he does too. It is a very special time, and somewhat out of this world. I am glad it doesn't happen all the time, but do wish it would happen again. I'm guessing it's not something that you can just make happen. I think everything has to be "right" for it to happen. I don't know?

Mashie

After I caned my lover and sub, when she told me that she went to sub-space, I nearly freaked out. She never told me to stop while I wailed on her bottom. When I created darker bruises, and most importantly, when I unintentionally caused welps, I stopped myself. Admittedly, I started to cry when she told me, I apologized as I went too far; "too far" means a lot to me as I had an anger-control problem... There is a strong mutual love and trust for each other, I have become more hesitant to do more than bare-hand spank, or use a belt. Her beautiful tush is often rubbed and gently kissed to ease (some) pain. What can you say about using a multi-tail, hand-held whip?

It is a state of being that the sub goes into as they cross a fine line from "pain" to pleasurable pain. It is very normal and nothing to be alarmed about. It is a goal for many subs to get there.

For those into intense caning the feeling goes from enduring the painful cane strokes that are marking up your body to a somewhat orgasmic feeling and a strong desire to keep receiving the strokes and asking for more and possibly harder strokes.

Once there you tend to stay there for a while with a very satisfied feeling. The state of mind to get there needs to NOT be doing something to get there. Relaxing and enjoying the moment helps get you there. The effects are positive and most tops are happy for the sub to get to sub space. And, yes there is also "top" space for some sadists who are bringing the sub into sub space.

Hi, very happy to find a thread about the main reason I subscribed here! Subspace is for me a real goal since I discovered it, without knowing it having a proper word to name it, but searching on the Web what could have happened to me, I understand now that is chemical body fluids release (several) and their effects that drives the subject into drug like conditions.

I didn't know there was another way than pain to reach that weird state. (Thank you @Switchablesusie , I learned something new, you seem to be everywhere and very helpful)

I can just testify with this cerebral matter, that fear along with brute force increases for a big part the feeling of "overrun" (correct?) that takes me into an unknown trip.

Here is at least what I can say for the definition.

I will put the characteristics together with the "getting there" chapter, and talk about what happen just for me, not for the Top or others. There are stages, successive, that I could maybe summarize like this

Fear (to be restrained, to endure)

Shock (facing the assault to begin)

Deny (to continue)

Panic (that it actually keeps going)

Crisis/Distress

Collapse/Subspace

Possibly ending with an orgasm? At least on edge all along.

Not all the stages last for the same time and among the sessions I had they were also of various lengths, or do not raised (no Subspace)

Pros: There is maybe just one but it's worth every side effects, a ride someplace else.

Cons: Phew! Sub-drop, stiffnesses, exhaustion, bruises, no car driving, job, business, family meal, speech, fashion parade, for the next hours or days.. Well almost nothing.

To make it last, I have no idea how it can be extended or shortened nor if there is a way to do so.

The after care is really needed, as for me I go out of this drowned in tears, and I am in distraught to be wrapped in my persecutor's arms..

Finally for the relationship, I think it makes the Top and Sub even more close and "soul mate" (fr: complice) after sharing an event so particular. To do only with a trusted person.

How this works for me, is being very securely immobilized, I like a spanking horse, but cross is good or just being in restraints on a massage table. The important thing for me is knowing that I am surrendering and can't escape it. Then starting with very sensual touch, then a leather paddle just caressing my ass, getting to a nice gentle tap tap, moving to moderate swats, nothing really hard. This brings extra blood flow to my buttocks and the little vessel capillaries engorge a bit. That seems to protect my skin from breakdown. Also all the lovely brain chemicals start to flow for a nice organic high. As the paddling becomes more intense, what was painful morphs. Paddles get switched to wood, things get more severe, I start to thrash about, the pace becomes more fast and frenzied. The pain becomes overwhelming and I want it to stop--but not quite now. The sexual excitement (I don't know that is quite what it is, but certainly exciting) increases and I just am flying. This is your mind on drugs, but they are self created and quite wonderful.

After care is a lot of hugging and gentle holding. I've always wanted to be spanked to tears, and that has yet to happen, but I make a lot of low animal noises during the paddling. After the paddling, being caned is just like a reset button, because the caning sensation is so different from a paddling sensation.

Knowing what this feels like, I love to paddle others, and not so many wish for the extreme intensity I seek, so I'm pretty cautious with them, but once we seem to be at their limit, I ask them if they can take 10 more really hard swats, warning them that it will really hurt. For those willing to push their limits, they find that the pain really does something good for them.

Pleasurable pain for me is buttock injections from a beautiful but strict nurse and I sometimes attend a nurse dominatrix with the enhanced humiliation of bending over her receptionist's lap to get them.

On arrival I experience a thrilling nervous excitement, which is enhanced when I am told to drop trousers, pull down pants and bend over the girl's lap for my shots. I like to pretend protest, which can result in the added eroticism of the nurse and/or receptionist pulling everything down for me. The combination of fear and eager anticipation usually renders me partly erect and the embarrassment of the smiling receptionist noticing it increases my excitement. Once I am across her lap she unnecessarily but thrillingly reminds me that I have to get my shots and there is no longer I can do anything to avoid them. Appreciation of my helpless vulnerability simultaneously frightens and turns me on.

The alcohol swab makes me tense in anticipation and grip the girl's thigh. If, as usual, the shot really hurts I begin to regret my fetish, but it is only the first. Subsequent ones are even more painful to the extent that I have to remind myself to enjoy them as the receptionist exacerbates my embarrassment by confessing that she enjoys watching my bare bottom injected. Although they hurt so much that I hope each one is the last, when the final needle comes out half an hour later I am disappointed it is all over. Eventually I stand up displaying a full erection as I gingerly rub my sore buttocks. The final thrill is reminiscence when I can't sit down afterwards.

Subspace is obvious different things to different people. For me it is like that moment when I organism and all the pleasure of the ejaculation comes rushing down on me and I get flushed and just a bit shamed, especially when masturbating, because it's a "no no." However, it is also the same feeling when I am just humiliated or embarrassed: warm flushed face, racing heart beat, just want to escape into the rabbit hole and disappear.

That is the basis of my subspace. I can put myself there and do put myself there a lot without anyone knowing I'm there. However in BDSM situation or even other sexual encounters, that helps me go deeper and deeper in to the subspace trance.

When I masturbate, the most sex I ever had and in the old days five times a day was not uncommon (after heart surgery I've finally working my way up to three times a day!), my fantasies in my mind take me to places where I remember past true experiences yet new inventions based on real events or stories I've read like on here.

I might imagine I am the victim of a crime I heard of where I don't condone what happened to that person but secretly wish I were them. For instance, at a hotel one day I overhead a security detail talking about an incident where a husband got mad at his wife and pulled out his dick and pissed all over her.

I couldn't get the image out of my head. I felt bad for her and felt the guy should be punished because she didn't agree to the abuse that was criminal. I though secretly wished it had been me forced to endure that treatment, although I would never really want it to be that way.

I have been peed on and drank piss from the tap many times since. Every time I do my mind goes into subspace because I feel that I am being forced to do such as nasty thing. I have no control over it, even though I do.

So subspace for me has a component of giving up my body to the sex act, doing things I wouldn't give myself permission to do. Sort of an out of body experience. I stand over myself watching myself doing "bad" things, even things I like.

Even when I wear panties under my clothes or even better a diaper, I have that same humiliation and feeling of being forced to do it. When I pee my diaper in public, even though voluntary, my mind takes me to a subspace where I am being forced to do it by some unseen force.

The ultimate highs in subspace I ever achieved was when I was with a BDSM couple and was active in a local BDSM group. Although we had safe words (which I rarely used! What's the fun in that?), I still would put my mind in subspace that I was forced to be there and couldn't escape.

True bondage reinforced that although again, it wasn't really real, I could halt on a single word.

I really don't like spankings, but when I was spanked my subspace would kick in high gear and the out of body experience took over.

I do like sucking dick, but anytime I suck a dick I mentally go into subspace like I'm being forced to do it even though I'm not.

The pros are that I have had some fantastic natural highs. The cons were, especially when I was in the scene, I could have some serious downfalls from that space, leaving me depressed and sullen because I knew I really could never have want it seems I wanted: true sex slave status. (All sounds good in fantasy but would never be truly possible!)

@SwitchableSusie ;your statement, "Subspace is that frame of mind, where you have a deep sense of submission and emotional connection with your dominant." Is the best description of sub space that I can relate to. During a recent very deep anal session a Dom friend and I just drifted into an intense deep anal session. It became a mutual desire to attempt to try for elbow deep. We got lost in time ,and space. We were not really aware of each other, just instinctively worked to together with me following any direction or demands she gave. Got near elbow depth and it was far deeper than prior tries. We did not realize that something very unique had occurred until we regained our composure and said almost a the same time Sub space and Top space happened . Then Questioned it. Because, that was a bit too convenient. But it happened. For me it was the first an only time that I knew I submitted totally and did it very willingly with nothing left to give her. Prior, I never gave up all of me ,protecting some of my control. We''ve played for about 15 years on an off, but not as steady partners . But had developed a bond of trust.

I'm a switch who enjoys being an enema sub. No recollection of true subspace during long huge enemas doing submissive tasks, but just curious. Has anyone here ever felt they were in subspace while receiving or holding an enema for a Dom(me)?

Eric