Strange Anal Insertions

What have you done that in after thought realized you were one orgasm away from the emergency room?

I thought it was a clever idea to try and use Ping Pong balls for anal beads. One came off and I had a hard time finding and getting it out. Wish I could say it scared the shit out of me, it did, sadly not literally though.

I thought it a clever Idea to insert a balloon (long type to make funny animals) into my urethra. No problem, it actually went in far enough (only just) to enter my bladder. It felt good and was fun, but afterwards I realized how close I was to actually losing it in me.

I had a maglite 4D put in me. I also did the balloons but they were in my vagina. The feeling of it pushing against my uterus was amazing.

Make sure those balloons stay in good condition. It can extremely dangerous/life-threatening if a balloon ruptures in your vagina. Air forced into the vagina can cause an embolism. If everything is in good condition, Yay! Just use caution and take care of yourself! 😁

I have used a balloon in my ass before. I barely blew it up for you dont want it to rupture, but the feeling was great.

In my younger, foolish daysI also inserted a thin animal blowup balloon into my urethra using aquarium air pump tubing. It entered the bladder and I inflated it with water. It burst. Apparently the tubing had punctured the balloon. It scared me big time, but I was too afraid to go to the hospital. I felt irritation at the bladder neck when peeing. I drank lots of cranberry juice. Later that day, I passed a piece of the tubing that had apparently gotten stuck in the bladder neck. I was very lucky. I've had no sequelae from that incident and do not plan to ever do it again. I have used foley catheters since then.

I had a vibe inside my bottom once while I was bathing. I slipped and it slipped out of my reach and totally inside me. I tried to retrieve it, but the inner workings of it and the mechanical parts separated. Only the hollow shell remainded inside me and I panicked. I totally lost my mind for a few minutes. Then I rationalized that it wasn't that far inside and that what goes up often comes out. I put some lube inside, tried to breathe and relax my body and slowly push it out of me. It took time, but it finally came out and I was much relieved. I would have hated going to the ER to have that removed.

Speaking of ER visits, I don't get how women go to the ER or doctor and say a condom is stuck inside their vaginas. The vagina is a small cul-de-sac and the condom really doesn't have that many places to hide. All it takes is a little lube, a little relaxation and a finger or two to find it. I worry about those girls. It shouldn't be that difficult to touch yourself and pull it out. Geez.

Speaking from terrible experience, it's entirely possible to reach it but to not be able to grip it. Happened with a Jolly Rancher. No bad results aside from being sticky for the next three or four hours. I'd say most of those people with a rubber stuck up there are just too prudish to go fish for it though.

As far as just bad stuff happening, I've never had much luck with not getting a UTI after urethral play. Either I'm sensitive to infection or I'm doing it wrong. I'm going to say a little of both because I haven't had the chance to use a proper sound kit or a proper catheter. Heed all the warnings on the box when it comes to urethral play!

Begging the question, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Jolly Rancher? A one. A two. A three. A four...

Caths and UTIs are no fun. I'm prone to UTIs, but I still want to try caths in a sexual setting. I've only had them at the doctor and in hospitals, but I would so love to try it with a lover. I'd love to give and receive.

I filled a syringe with KY and injected it up the urethra. I had to hold the meatus tight to avoid having the KY come squirting back out. I then inserted the balloon, which was over the tubing up the urethra. When I felt the tubing pushing at the bladder sphincter, I relaxed as though to pee. This relaxed the sphincter, allowing the tubing to go into the bladder with the balloon. I was able to feel the pressure of the balloon against the urethral wall as it was inflating. The balloon was weakened either by me blowing it up fully to decrease it's resistance prior to insertion or by my disinfecting it prior to insertion. The biggest mistake was usiing the air pump. I was changing an anaerobic area into an aerobic area allowing air loving bacteria a chance in the bladder. As I said before, I was real lucky that I didn't get an infection. :-\

An old girlfrind had once mentioned she had a friend who got a hotdog stuck vaginally and had to go to the doctor (emergency room) to have it removed. I would imagine that would be embarrassing.

I would imagine with anything the number one thing to consider is always keep everything clean if you plan to insert anything.

I believe that the sexual games demand some knowledge, maturity and responsibility for respect to our couples so that you don't pass unpleasant moments. I agree with you.

I don't understand how people can reach adulthood and not understand how their bodies work and are too embarrassed or repressed to touch and explore their own genitalia. It's silly that a woman would be too squeamish to slide a finger or two inside herself to retrieve a "lost" condom, tampon or other item.

Maybe I'm different than most women, but I slip a finger or two inside daily, if not several times a day to check the condition of my vagina. I like to keep track of what part of my cycle I'm in, lubrication, note any pain or unusual discharge, etc. It's just a part of my daily routine.

I like stretching my anus and shoving things up my bum, either for the pleasure of flushing them out with an enema, or just to keep them there.

I lost the fear of stuff getting lost up inside me quite a long time ago. The secret is to trust your body. A ping pong ball is no bigger than a hard piece of shit. If it doesn't choose to come out right away, you will see it tomorrow or the day after, so be happy and enjoy the sensation!

Docjeckel, apples are great! I have had four of them up at once. They don't like to come out immediately, either, but with apples you have another safety feature: they rot inside you. And when they do that, they get all soft and squishy and your body can get a hold on them like any other piece of shit and push it out. So you are never in any danger. The rotting is quite quick, too: about 7-8 days.

Last night I took a 5 litre salt enema followed by a 7 litre rinse enema. Today I inserted a butternut squash up me. It's been there 12 hours now, and I'll probably keep it there for a few days. This one is 3 inches 'head' diameter and about 7 inches long. I sent it up broad end first. It is not in my rectum. I shoved it up using another butternut as a pusher. The sensation when the first one enters the descending colon is uniques and delightful. Now I can feel the 'head' just above my belly button through the wall of my abdomen. There's no urge to expel at all (those nerves are only in the rectum).

I can get it out any time, again my remembering how my body works. Because the rectum and colon are designed to absorb water, the butternut won't come out just by shoving! It is 'glued' in place by rather dry mucus. A squirt of water from a bulb enema frees it and makes a lubricant out of the mucus. Then I can push down on the head of the butternut with my hand through the abdominal wall, and feel it poking at the flap that separates descending colon from rectum. This feels pretty good, btw! Gets the prostate from above, too. More pressure results in the neck of the squash entering the rectum. This brings on the urge to expel; but I probably will have to push some more to get it going properly. Finally it will glide out by itself; but because the head is quite big (3") it won't fall out of me and I can use it like a sort of internal butt plug! It takes real effort to expel it completely.

I have sometimes half expelled a 'resident' butternut when walking in a deserted place like the beach, and walked for an hour or more with it hanging out. In that position it provides

Wine bottles are notorious for getting stuck due to the change in air pressure causing a vacuum.

In reply to the condom thing my friend who is a qualified nurse said that many people who get a condom stuck inside them can't reach if it has entered the cervix. Also people find it hard to grip onto it. And no doubt if that happend.

My mate at college got her vibrator stuck, no lube nothing and had to go to a and e , she was tight and pushed it too far up herself that she couldnt manage a grip.

I think its just one of those things to be careful

Yes, I got scared once. Remember those ring toys that you give to toddlers? There is 4-5 plastic donuts of increasing size that you put onto a central tower, and if you put them in the correct order, then they fit properly. Well, the tower is about 6" long and starts-off at a bit over one inch in diameter, then increases as you go down, like a traffic cone (only MUCH smaller). Anyway, you can sit all the way down on it, but I wanted that extra bit of stretch that I'd get if the base wasn't preventing that last 1.5" so I could get to the biggest part.

Well, it totally popped-in, and while the bottom of it has rounded edges, it is very flat and very wide (over 2"), so you can't grab around it to pull it out. (Well, maybe someone can), and the flat bottom makes it hard to get started to come-out. It came out of course - the only reason it took a while is because my panic made me contract: once I relaxed, I got it back.

I *never* want to go to an ER with something I can't remove! If I go because of an accident while I'm "packing", i.e. wearing a plug in public, I guess that can't be helped - either I'll be unconscious, or I'll make a joke about it and look deeply into the eyes of the cutest woman there to see her reaction when I tell them or they find it.

Oh, my Gosh! I remember those things. Bless your heart. That would have been scary/embarrassing. But it least you know it wouldn't have gotten lost inside you. Not with that big base. I wonder if anyone ever used those plastic donuts as a cockring. My guess is yes. 😃

Did you ever see the old episode of ER when Lucy Knight (played by Kellie Martin) was surprised to hear that the doctors once removed a carrot from a man's body. She innocently said, "How did he swallow a whole carrot?" Dr. John Carter (played by Noah Wyle) and another staff member or two chuckled and told her he didn't eat it. It took her a few seconds, but she finally got it and blushed. It was adorable. A lot of people hated her character, but I thought she was a doll.

Ooooh, Allan. Bless your little heart (and your tush, too.) The beads I remember my nieces and nephew having were kind of large, but I think they had to make them that way for safety reasons. You were probably one of the test kids for the prototype before they realized where the beads might end up. End up? Ha. I'm glad you never lost your adventurous spirit and if you lived in my neighborhood when I was growing up, I'd have gladly shown you mine if you showed me yours.

Hugs and love to you,

Dianne

I have been playing with something new I thought I’d share. I took one of those heavy duty punch ball balloons and inserted a connector in the end of it. On the connector I attached a 6” piece of latex hose. I used latex since it is pliable and it will need to be bent over and clipped later. I then filled a basin with water that was VERY warm, almost on the hot side. I inserted the balloon in me leaving the end sticking out. Using a squeeze pump attached to the balloon I filled the balloon with the hot water until it was as full as I could stand it. I disconnected the pump, bent over the hose and clamped it.

I now have a VERY full rectum, the balloon won’t fall out or leak. Since the water is hot it fills you with a warm feeling.

While I have it in I make a point of doing outside chores and interacting with others that I can. The only hard part is not getting a hard-on and being seen by those you talk to.

😁

I have played around with my anus before discovering the pleasure of an enema. I like the sensation but the amount of time it takes makes it hard to scheduel.

One thing I found was filling a latex ballon with some hot water, lubricating my opening and pushing it in. The feeling of the hot water inside me is very sexy and I usually masturbated afterwards.

I have used shaving cream instead, as it gives a different feeling in the balloon.

When apples rot they ferment and make a cider which contains about four times more alcohol content than full strength beer.

😁

There was a young lady from Clyde,

Who choked on an apple and died,

The apple fermented inside the lamented,

And made cider inside her inside !!

If you did actually leave an apple up your bum until it softened and began to rot, you probably felt either:-

1. A little bit pissed 😁, or

2. Sufferring from a large yeast infection 😜, or

3. Both, but it was too much fun to remember at the time !!

Hey Brachio,

No, never had the good luck to get a free buzz from anything fermenting inside me! (Sigh) I think the natural 'bloom' on the fruit skin (that contains the yeast) gets removed in the insertion process. Apples just rot and the core is scratchy when you expel it. Butternuts are easier.

But please, if you have some experience in this direction, share it with us? If not, why not get some?

Johnny

When I was young I inserted a CO2 cartridge inside of me and lost my grip when I orgasmed. It slid in and there was no way for me to get it out. I was afraid to say anything to anyone and carried it with me for a few hours until it came out of its own accord.

A vibrator that 'got away' from a lubed grip and got horizontal was a couple of hours of frustrated 'touch the end but can't get a grip on it' time. Finally out - phewww! It's good to keep a 'line' attached.

I thought I was the only guy who does THAT Allan! I even look in the grocery store...cukes, eggplant, butternut etc. Take a 5/16 shaft Philips screwdriver and drill from both ends until air passes through. Then insert 5/16 O. D. vinyl tubing into either hole. Cold nozzle...warm water...and LOTS of vaseline. Party time!!! 😁 😁 😁

It used to be that I'd go up and down aisles, see something that caught my attention and say "Cat toy." However, these days, depending on what I find, is either a cat toy or fetish toy. Creativity is a good thing.

I remember as a young boy using a light bulb shaped like a cone as a dildoe while I masturbated. I got kinda carried away and pushed it up past the screw in base that I was holding it with. Once I lost grip it was sucked up into my ass. I immediately was in terror, cold sweat, and disbelief that I just did what I new could lead to my exposure if I couldn't get it out on my own.

I did manage to work it out and save face and possible injury.

I learned at a young age from that frightening experience.

I still shake my head thinking about being so foolish.

No glass containers : 😃

My girlfriend was examining inside my rectum using a clear plastic proctoscope/anoscope (the large size "EOS" brand). I was on my knees in the head-down-arse-up position, and really enjoying the prostate stimulation as she moved the instrument around inside my bum. But then something went wrong!

(For those unfamiliar with this fun-to-use instrument, it is similiar to a vaginal speculum, but has a long hollow cylinder instead of hinged bills. Prior to insertion into the anus, an inner bullet shaped cylinder (obturator) gets loaded inside the outer cylinder and pokes out the front to make the end shape nice and smooth for insertion. The inner obturator is withdrawn once the instrument is fully inserted, and you can have a really good look around inside the sub's rectum.)

Things went wrong just after my girlfriend finished examining my rectum, and withdrawn the proctoscope. I saw her lay the proctoscope on the towel beside me. But then she picked up the obturator and inserted it straight up my bum before I could warn her.

The trouble is that the "EOS" brand obturator looks like it is "anus-friendly". But halfway down, the obturator has four sharp-edge ventilation slots around the side. These slots are normally covered when the obturator is inside the proctoscope and the instrument is being used properly in trained hands.

I have dormant hemorrhoids and skin folds in my rectum, and the moment my girlfriend inserted the obturator up my bum, these little buggers squeezed throught the sharp slots in the sides of the obturator and held the thing securely into my body. It could not be pulled out. It was stuck, with no way out other than a late night visit to the nearest hospital with a 24/7 Emergency Ward. But how to get there? We were both far too pissed (drunk) to drive, and there was no way I could sit in a taxi with this thing stuck up my arse and just about to give me a radical DIY hemorrhoidendectomy (?).

But then I remembered the wisest words ever from my scuba diving instructor (circa 1973):-

Do Not Panic! Just Stop what you are doing! Breath normally! And Think! Because for Every Problem, there is a way out! Just think and you will find it!

So I discussed this with my girlfriend and we thought it through some more and came up with the solution that if I squatted in the shower recess and worked a lubricated finger up inside the hollow obturator firmly locked up my arse, I could problably feel every hemorrhoid and skin fold stuck in the obturator slots and then ease them back out one by one until the obturator slid out of me.

It worked! The obturator came out! No cuts, no bleeding! Just a big puddle of lube. And all it needed was some very clear thinking.

Brachio

I used a bottle of antipersperent. It was about 1.5" around and about 4 or 5" long. It had a rounded plastic screw top and was made of heavy glass. Lubed it up and got it in but was able to keep hold of it.

It wasn't till after my orgasm i started thinking - holy shit - what was i doing! Putting glass in my ass! Dumb!

First and only time.

When I was young, I was given enemas often, and I was sexually excited by them, but didn't understand what that meant at the time. What I did understand was that I liked stuff in my butt. So as a child, I managed to insert the following items into my rectum: a shoestring, hair barettes, bobby pins, playing cards, and many, many ink pens. At the time, I actually liked "losing" the barettes and bobby pins inside me. I was interested to see how they would feel and how long it would take them to come back out.

Fortunately, they all did come back out, and I managed to survive this phase without puncturing my colon.

I wish I could say that as a responsible adult I haven't put anything up my ass that wasn't designed to go there, but just the other day I was playing doctor with someone, and I let him talk me into sticking the end of a socket wrench up there. It was a great substitute for a probe, being cold, hard metal. I came so hard.

I have also inserted (or had inserted): candles, carrots, cukes, ice cubes, hairbrush handles, the end of a riding crop, and scarves.

I've done all sorts of strange ASS insertions too and also had my share of panic. For those wishing to try insertions, they could put the object to be inserted into a plastic bag and then "enjoy the pleasure" of the insertion. At least you will have something to pull the object out with.

Regards irrigator333

I'm thinkin camping, what could one do with a raised hitch and 3 way ball? HummmmI think the largest one on the 3 size is a 2 5/8"....be a nice place to plop your ass while being berated...naughty naughty...