Intro to BDSM

My first experience with BDSM was with my former fiance... I had certain things I felt he could 'help' me with and I presented him with a brandy new double set of fleece lined horse hobbles and some beautiful leather tie down straps with clip hooks. He looked at me a bit confused, but then he did exactly what I had been dreaming of since I was a teenager. Unfortunately, he was quite uncomfortable with the level of my sexuality and submissive nature, and couldn't handle the roll of Dominant, although he was a splendid natural dominant, so he left.

My first real BDSM scene happened with my hubby, and it was a bit lackluster, sloppy, and half hearted, so I was about to give up hopes of ever experiencing something real. Then, I 'ran into' a man who would become my Master for 4 years, and after a whole year of communication, we finally agreed to meet up and play. It was the most exciting and overwhelming experience I've ever had in my life, and although I wore bruises (proudly) on my bottom for about a week, and had muscle stiffness all over my body from bondage for the same amount of time, it will always remain my favorite and most treasured BDSM experience. I have met others since him, but none who were quite as good with ropes and whips. I'll be daydreaming about this all day now! LOL!

My introduction was a video file that a friend sent me years ago. A young woman was strapped into a chair sitting up high, her feet available as well as her vagina. She was also connected to a heart monitor. We could hear her and the beeping indicating her heartbeat, as well as see her rate. As the gentleman proceeded to first tickle her feet, her heart reacted. It was when he stuck the Hitachi between her legs, the fun started. She orgasmed many times and her heart went crazy.

I hired a guy in my mid 40s to work in my business. We became fast friends and soon he brought his wife by. What a looker she was. We the friendship developed and in short time they were inviting me over for dinner and drinks. As it progressed, they plied me with smoke and Crown to the point I couldn't drive. She was being very flirty and obviously suggestive to me. Of course he was there as well as their kids. I spent the night on the couch a night or two and woke one nite to find her in the kitchen. I got up and had a drink with her and as she went off to be she told me to "take off your clothes and sleep in your undies, you will be much more comfortable". So I did. After a week or two of some serious partying and drinking, I got to their house early one day to find her home alone. she was laying on the couch wearing one of his tee shirts and when I walked in she simply raised the shirt to expose her naked body and said "eat". So I did. She had one of the best orgasims she ever had. That night the partying was harder and wilder than ever and when I woke the next day, I was chained to the bed, naked with her next to me. He explained that they had been looking for a submissive guy for her to domme, but he was her dom. He also said he preffered to do her anally but she wanted vaginal too, so the best answer for the sadistic voyer was another guy. When he first met me he decided I would be his wifes toy. I lived with them 24/7 for a year. Only ever allowed to wear underwear when home. I even did my yard chores in boxerbriefs. The sexual adventures spilled out to clubs and bars, traveling to different cities. One of the best years of my life.

Ine started with baths,washing a friend of mine who's a girlthen having a big giant bathwashing party,then me washing the mom of my friend and she enjoying it and me washing her everyday.

As I got older, I found myself attracted to dominate men. I found that I enjoyed the idea of being submissive to them. I later decided to try spanking and found it was an incredibly erotic release for me. I still enjoy a good spanking from time to time and also receiving enemas and being shaved by another male.

Started with my mate playing games looser paid a forfit got spanked had to give wank/blowjob

i soon got very good at loosing

Being dominated and abused by a doctor and a nurse when I was about 10 years old. There was fear and anger, but there were also the massive lust and huge amounts of pleasure to lock me into bdsm mode for the rest of my life..

You have to have implicit trust in the person and from total understanding on their part.

Hence I have never really subscribed to this "safe" word arrangement,it should not be required.

TRUST has NOTHING to do with having or needing a safeword.

You just NEED it unless your scenes are purely sensual. If you do anything of a severe or extreme nature you must have it. Again, it has nothing to do with trust.

TRUST has NOTHING to do with having or needing a safeword.

You just NEED it unless your scenes are purely sensual. If you do anything of a severe or extreme nature you must have it. Again, it has nothing to do with trust.

I totally agree. Safe, sane and consensual. I also believe both parties should have a safe word because stuff comes up and sh*t happens during scenes.

Susie and Sunny you are both Right On. A safe word is absolutely necessary in anything more than sensual play. Things happen, even with very careful partners.

I totally agree. Safe, sane and consensual. I also believe both parties should have a safe word because stuff comes up and sh*t happens during scenes.

Thank you for your agreement, Sunny and Stephen.

I have to admit, not everything we do is either safe, sane or always consensual (at least initially) and that's why we need a safe word. Sometimes we just succumb and submit.

You could be thoroughly enjoying yourself, reveling in pain, humiliation or whatever your poison, screaming you head off telling your top to stop, but not really wanting it to end. However, if you don't have a safe word, your top might stop whatever he is doing even though you want more.

Finally, there are times where shit happens and your top might not realize it because you look and sound exactly like you did five seconds before the sensation changed to an intolerable one.

Agree on needing a safe word - the more adventurous you are, the more you need it - definitely not a trust issue - if you don't trust someone, you probably shouldn't be playing with them to begin with!

Back on subject, secretly browsing through my grandfather's erotic book collection got me hooked at an early age. Vanilla's great, but BDSM is the real 'spice'...!!

Very very novice. All I know so far is that I like biting and spanking and often fantasize about being tied up. I'm very cautiously interested in anal play, never tried any, but with an experienced and gentle partner (and about a gallon of KY) I'd be interested in trying a little bit. I really just need a very caring dom who could walk be through everything and see if it's really for me or not.

Safewords are necessary, but wait, there's more. The safeword should be something simple that the bottom can remember even in the worst situation. I demand that people I play with use RED-YELLOW-GREEN. As most adults drive, those colors are ingrained deeply in their psyche. If you don't know, RED means stop - right the fuck now. Scene's over. YELLOW means that we need to talk. Maybe a hand is asleep, maybe a bathroom trip isn't an option. GREEN means - are you a wimp or what? Can't you turn it up? The other reason for those safewords is that I frequently play in public. Everyone in the area knows the standard safewords and will react if they're not being honored.

If your bottom tends to get non-verbal, giving them an object to hold takes the place of a verbal word. Drop the object = safeword.

One thing I always tell a new bottom is that if they use a safeword, yell it if I don't respond immediately. The only reason I don't respond is if I don't hear it. Age and years of rock and sirens have taken their toll.

Well said all.

Red, Yellow, and Green work fine: I demand them of my subs. Be careful, though to explain what YOU mean by them. Some people feel "Yellow" means please be cautious, don't go and more intense. Some people use "Orange." I tell my subs: "Yellow" to this Master means only one thing. It means please pause, I need to tell or ask you something. And, yes, if I don't respond, say it again - LOUDER. I don't always hear a faint word.

Safewords are necessary, but wait, there's more. The safeword should be something simple that the bottom can remember even in the worst situation. I demand that people I play with use RED-YELLOW-GREEN. As most adults drive, those colors are ingrained deeply in their psyche. If you don't know, RED means stop - right the fuck now. Scene's over. YELLOW means that we need to talk. Maybe a hand is asleep, maybe a bathroom trip isn't an option. GREEN means - are you a wimp or what? Can't you turn it up? The other reason for those safewords is that I frequently play in public. Everyone in the area knows the standard safewords and will react if they're not being honored.

If your bottom tends to get non-verbal, giving them an object to hold takes the place of a verbal word. Drop the object = safeword.

One thing I always tell a new bottom is that if they use a safeword, yell it if I don't respond immediately. The only reason I don't respond is if I don't hear it. Age and years of rock and sirens have taken their toll.

I agree for the most part.

RED can mean to STOP what you are doing right now. It doesn't necessarily mean the scene is over unless the top is getting bitchy.

YELLOW can mean need to TALK or PUSH NO HARDER than what is being done.

GREEN can mean give the sub more.

Jesus died because he forgot the safeword.

As one of the things I do is to DM large and small events, the standard safewords are critical for safety. I can't be expected to remember a different safeword for every scene.

The subtext of the safewords is something that is negotiable between the players. The only thing that needs to be standard is that RED means stop - now. Restarting is fine, but stopping is mandatory.

Remember that the context here is INTRODUCTION TO BDSM.