Intro to BDSM

My first experiences were rather horrific. I was with a man who didn't know the first thing about beint Dominant. Complete disregard for limits, not responding to safety words, and being completely ignorant of the effect of this complete abuse to my psychological well being.

Needless to say, he's no longer in the picture.

Now I switch with my husband, and it's all about the communication, mutual respect, and of course pure enjoyment! While he's not much of a sub, he does love being tied up and spanked/whipped. And I get to surrender with him, to a certain degree...he still can't "hurt" his wife....lol...but he will tie me up, give me enemas, fisting, the like.....

Hoping to find a Dominant female one day that can accomodate both our needs...

First off, welcome. Second, I am appalled by how your first experience went. But you didn't give up on it because of that experience. I'm glad your husband is trying to fulfill your needs. Have you asked him to not think of you as his wife when you are playing? Maybe a little role playing where you are someone else? Have you introduced him to the site? He can learn that pain can sometimes be a good sexual feeling. 😄

We are a couple who absolutely enjoy many aspects of BDSM play and we switch with each other very comfortably . One of our many fantasies that we have yet to fulfil is that we would like someone "special" to witness one of her punishments and our issue is that while the thought of this happening excites the hell out of us the question is how to achieve it safely as we don't know anyone else on the scene in that we have managed to keep our tastes very private up to now as we live in what we consider to be a very small place and we are paranoid about our privacy and discretion. It makes her wet at the thought that we might have a male witness to one of her future spankings/floggings and I must admit it does not do me any harm either. Wisdom and suggestions appreciated.

Januspuss:

I have alot of the same opinions as you do!

Intro - well, I'm new here ... and haven't been physically introduced to this yet - though just the thought gets me all wet and needing relief! I'm very cautious and a bit shy. Have known no one from the BDSM scene ... but SOOoooo want a play mate! Any suggestions?

Shy novice. Welcome. I'm rather new here myself, but am a third generation Dom (that is to say my Father and his Father were also Doms). I'd be glad to communicate with you, answer questions, etc. As for a playmate, they'll be here :-)

I was on a trip to Armenia when there was a problem with my passport at my arrival. After many people talking loudly etc I was taken into a nearby room by 2 female officers, one of whom was extremely bossy. They were wearing what you might say was a military type uniform with tight grey blouse and skirt and wide leather belt, with a peaked cap and semi high heels and seamed stockings, basically they looked like a dominatrix. The bossy one spoke English, so it appeared to be her job to issue instructions, which she did with great enthusiasm "you will now do this etc." Basically I was give a full strip search including cavitiy search, with the bossy one saying things like "you will now bend forward with legs spread wide...wider."

Although concerned about the situation I also found being given orders in this fashion by this strict woman very exciting and was shaking with fear/excitment and has lead me to visit a number of female doms to relive the experience and develop new angles of authoritive domination.

As a young boy, I was always slapping, squeezing or twisting my penis and testicles and inserting things in my urethra and rectum. I found this more satisfying than plain masturbation. As I got older, plain vanilla sex did not really do it for me. One day, during oral sex my partner bit me. I loved it and got extremely hard. I asked her to bite harder. She bit down and scraped her teeth across the rim while jamming fingers in my butt hole. It hurt so good, I exploded like never before. She had even made me bleed and I was sore for several days, remindind me of the experience and producing erections. Over the years, I have advanced to urethrals sounding and stretching, strap-ons and dildos, and my all-time favorite, play piercing and cutting my genitals, specially the glans. I love that s&m and penis pain.

I was introduced to this 'play' by accident. I was seeing someone for sex on and off for a few years. He spanked me and I dripped as he did. xx

I hate to admit that when I had the 1st couple of sessions with a sub I knew about safe words and would have respected them had they been used. I also knew about subspace and aftercare blankie, but in talking with her after our second session she informed me that the next time she wanted me to try and fist her when we had talked about it and done it during the session the night before.

I informed her of this, and she informed me that when she goes in subspace she does not remember anything afterwards.

She was talking to me the whole time we were playing, and I did not realise she was in deep subspace.

You need to follow the motto like they have here with gambling "Know your limit, play within it"

I was on a trip to New York City. I happend to notice a copy of "Screw" magazine on the street. I bought one, and when I got back to my hotel I read it from cover to cover. I found the classified ad's for BDSM and "went into orbit." I had no idea such experiences were available. So I finally decided to try a discipline session with a mistress. It was amazing. I tried to deny all through the session that I really wanted it...told her I was on a research project!!!! Yeah, sure. I was hooked. Have been ever since. That was around 1974.

When I was in my early teens, i had the habit of snooping about when the family was visiting friends or relatives. By snooping, I mean that I would excuse myself to use the washroom and then very quietly I would go into various bedrooms and look through the drawers. If I found something interesting, like stockings or panties, I would take the object into the bathroom and use whatever it was to masturbate with.

Once. while visiting a home where several of the children were girls, I found a drawer filled with nylons and several garter belts. I helped myself to a pair of nylons and a garter belt and went into the bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and put on the garter belt and the stockings. I laid down on the shag rug in the bathroom and started to jerk off. I loved the feel of the stockings on my legs. I totally lost track of the time. As i continued to jerk off, I heard the door knob being turned. Suddenly, I realized that I had not locked the door and it opened. There stood one of the young teenaged girls whose nylons and garter belt I was wearing. She squealed very loudly and I hastily got up from the floor. Before I could get the nylons and the garter belt off, the doorway was filled with people, including the mother of the young teen as well as my own mother.

I tried to blurt out some sort of explanation but I was grabbed by my mom and dragged down the hall into the living room. She pulled me over her knee and began to spank my ass very hard. There were about half a dozen people standing there watching me get the spanking of my life. The girls were thoroughly enjoying what they saw. I kicked and squirmed on my mom's lap but that only added to my problems. My prick became totally hard and as I squirmed, I rubbed myself into an orgasm on my mom's lap. She was VERY angry when I came all over her stockinged thighs. The woman who owned the house suggested that I receive more punishment. She told my mom that she was going to get an enema ready and she'd let my mom give it to me. My mom continued to spank me as her friend went off to prepare my enema. She cam back carrying a tray on which were a large basin of soapy water and a red rubber enema syringe. There was also a jar of something which turned out to be Vaseline.

I could feel my ass cheeks being pulled open and a finger began lubing up my ass. That action was enough to give me another hard on. The enema nozzle was shoved into my rectum by my mother and she started to squeeze the bulb. Hot soapy water gushed into my asshole. I squirmed even harder, much to the amusement of the girls who stood around watching. When the bulb was empty, the nozzle was withdrawn and I could hear more water being sucked up into the bulb. This action of insertion, squeezing and refilling was repeated several times. When all there decided I'd had enough water squirted into my ass, I was let off my mom's lap and then led back into the bathroom. I was told to sit on the toilet and expel the enema I'd been given. This was very embarrassing as I was still wearing the garter belt and nylons. When I had finished noisily expelling the water from my rectum, I was allowed to strip off the garter belt and nylons. I had to apologize to the woman and her daughters and then my mom dragged me out to the car for the long drive home. My mother only said that she was very disappointed in me. That was the start of a long and satisfying masturbation "career" for me involving, you guessed it, nylons, garter belts and enemas.

My first experience started when I was 14. I started by playing truth or dare online with someone I had met in a chat room. The game turned more into a dare or dare. My chat partner started asking me to do things I've never dine before. I started calling him Master and photographing everything I did for him. First he had me put clothespins on my nipples. Then I had to hold ice cubes on my clit and on my asshole until they melted. Finally he had me insert all kinds of objects into my virgin asshole and then use a vibrator til I climaxed. Once we moved past that, he would email me instructions once a week. I would complete the tasks and email him back the photos before I got a new assignment.

While I had experimented with light bondage while having sex, my first 'real' experience was with an ex boyfriend who had been studying the art of bdsm without my knowledge. He gradually introduced me to bondage, then challenging bondage situations, spanking, flogging, cropping, clamps, weights, etc - all combined with feeding my exhibitionist needs. One time on vacation at a mountain cabin, he tied me to the bed, blindfolded me and began to torment my body. I heard voices in the background, soft and subtle at first, then louder and more forceful. It seemed as if he was having conversations with them and they were orchestrating what was happening to me. I remember that I was appalled yet thrilled! What a delightful time that was.

He later showed me the tape recording and explained that he had recorded different voices, things from TV, etc and put it together to make it seem as if there were other people there. He definitely knew my HOTT button of being watched and/or having group play!

I discovered it early with enemas and anal play. Later bondage was added, now we have a lot of toys and enjoyn using, especially with enemas invovled!

I was thoroughly trained when young , Tried to denie it to myself and to any one else who might question it . Got into a few fights when I rode with a bike club be cause some women accused me of being gay when nothing happened between us ,. Little did they know it doesn't matter Master or Mistress its all the same to me.

I remember enjoying spankings... It was at that moment I knew I was different.

Many years ago...i had a romantic relationship with a Dominate man, but i just discovered sex and never even heard of the word BDSM, let alone what it ment, one day during foreplay...He flipped me over grabed a fist full of hair yanked my head back and bit into my shoulder while thrusting into me at the same time...i orgasmed instantly..and i was hooked..

it wasnt till i read "screw the roses bring me thorns* that the light went on...*OMG!!! i done this before...i was there...but there was no dungeon there was no cross nor leather and chains...ust ties and straps and pain and lots of bare skin and plenty of kinky orgasms...and i did cave and surrender...and i loved the Domination the man, tall towering over me....*shivers....as i remember*

I havent had the joy of being introduced to this but the thought of it makes me want to try it I am shy but I am sure with the right directions I could do most things

I love D/s scenes. You should expect things to progress slowly enough to build trust. Trust is what is all about. That and understanding each other's needs. Is your partner into just submitting or looking for any level of pain? While it is fun to 'stretch their limits' a tad -- that is part of the scene -- you would never want to do anything that they would not wish you to do to them. Take the time to find out what makes the other person excited...

The way myself and girl friend started into the world of BDSM was kind of slow. First with common toys. The we gradually advanced. Then we bought some movies like the classics "Behind the green door and Story of O" I took to the sub role instantly. My g/f

took to the dominate role. So as our relationship grew so did our play. Not too much we

havent tried. Omitted a few things that didnt do much for us. enemas are one of our favorits.

To me the whole concept of totally giving oneself to another is a super turn on. The trust and not knowing what is going to happen next just gets my jucies bubbeliing. No its not for everyone but it certinally is for us !!!!!!

I read alot on the Internet and it interested me more so the enema and forced rectal temps. I finally met

Some one to give me an erotic enema and it escalated from there I never asked nor did he tell me

What he was going to do but everything felt good so I never was in a position were I had to say stop.

My first experience was with a Pro Dominitrix in Seattle who went by the handle Mistress Donna. Her "dungeon" was down on the waterfront and I was very nervous when I knocked on the door. It was answered by a young man which made me even more nervous. I said I had an appointment and he took one look at me and said "Oh, good, you're one of the nice ones." That helped. He let me in and disappeared. I did not see him again. He was wearing a uniform that indicated he worked for a beverage distributor and I think he went to work.

Mistress Donna soon appeared in a simple white blouse and straight black skirt. She escorted me into the play area, and the session began with an interview about my experience level and expectations for the session. We had a great time and I would have gone back to see her again but she just kind of disappeared.

I've had 6-7 sessions with one Dom in the SF Bay Area and 1 with another Dom after the first seemed to drop off the face of the earth. The sessions were largely otk spanking sessions with hairbrushes and paddles, and an occassional whipping with a belt. We did a lot of role playing and had a great time in all sessions. We added enemas and strapon play later and the spankings/whippings continued. All in all, great fun and plan to continue.

Playing truth or dare growing up with scnenes of forced nudity, and a few times forced oral by some of the older participants

I started online and did some role playing. I did meet up with a Dom and it was exciting. Easy to get hooked into it after that.

Penthouse forum!!!! That is where the interest I had in bondage, spankings and enemas really morphed into a way of life. First BDSM experience was when I was 17 and dated a 15 year old girl. I fingered her ass roughly and spanked her. She gave me my first blowjob.

Mine started with a visit to a Dom. I got hooked on being restrained and she took me on as an unpaid. She anally fisted me several times. This allowed me to establish my own medical room then my dungeon.

Mixed teen group of friends who did forfits. Like the rest of friends, i was held down, striped and spread eagled while both boys and girls look at me and put finger in me