How do I get my husband interested in BDSM again?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you..

You asked about getting your husband interested AGAIN.

If that's the case, what did he like initially, and what was his role.

How about some sensual S&M or gentle bondage with silk scarves.

Start slow and build up.

I agree with susi.. start slow, see what the level of interest is. You should also be able to ask for what you want, or what you want to do ;-)

Rent a DVD of The Secretary or and see if it gets his interest. But like everyone is saying take it nice and slow and don't 'push' too much. Tell him what you miss, as you obviously do!

Ask Him to give you a birthday spanking. Or if you are the one who enjoys being the Top, tell him he is overdue his spanking and see what he says or does.

Talk and talk and then talk some more. Just starting with it might scare him, so I wouldn't do that

Last visit from rose13 was the 20100117 at 17:59 .

Not sure we will read any answer from her .

I have to disagree in at least some cases with people who say take it slow. In terms of sensitivity to someone's feelings, or safety issues of course I totally agree. But I am starting to be convinced someone is eiher wired neurologically to like BDSM or they aren't, and there isn't any way to change it -- although a latent ability may be brought out.

You may be wasting someone's time if you start a sexual relationship with them and hope to change their preferences later so you can have your full dirty satisfactions. I think there is a similarity to being gay, some people just know they like it. Not that a perfect sex life is everything, I have a girlfriend I love who just isn't submissive at all. I really get into nurturing her. She's not strong enough to tolerate and get off on being abused.

However, one extremely submissive woman I knew became aware of it after a she was basically forced by her boyfriend. ( I don't condone this, political disclaimer etc)_ He was having anal intercourse with her, and she started asking him to stop and he wouldn't. She started really getting off sexually on being forced, and found out she was a submissive when she was at least in her 40's.

She liked it really nasty too. I used to beat her bare ass with the bristles of a hair brush, and it was clear the harder I beat her, the hotter she got. The tips of the bristles started to make tiny scratches and some blood appeared and I was freaking out. She was smiling at me, explained the cuts were very shallow. Still a little past what I like-- I like the feeling of emotional submission from and humiliation in the woman. Sorry if I'm getting off track.

There is a lot to be said for the direct approach. Like the idea of meeting him at door with whip in hand and dressed to the hilt......maybe after you have sent a seductive email about what awaits his return home from work or meet him in hotel......

Just ask him to play I am sure he will like it. email him with some details...

I'd suggest a visit to ann summers first and just let him have a look around, he'll be interested in no time.

I came into this discussion to share my ideas, and to my dismay, the OP is no longer around.

But for anyone interested in getting a partner interested, i did have one idea. If your partner isn't someone coming home to you, invite him/her over and allow them to find you at a point where you have tied up /restrained yourself how you like. Perhaps leaving out props, like whips and stuff you'd like them to use once they find you. Let them have the surprisingly situational moment. That you're up for it, willing to make yourself theirs, to play as they are willing.