My flow rate preference can vary greatly depending on how I feel to start. The most successful enemas are run in as fast as I can handle, but IBS can change my tolerance quite a bit.
I usually need a very slow start if in a flare with pain and nausea. Then things depend on how my colon accepts the fill. Sometimes I need a very slow fill throughout, and other times if the initial water can release spasms or shift a blockage, ending faster can get me a better release.
With my giver, I only ever requested his enema help if feeling quite sick and unable to shift a flare after 1-3 solo enemas. Before the enema, he’d start by massaging my belly and back to relax me as much as possible. Then he’d insert a lubricated finger very gently. Sometimes when I was in a bad way, that would hurt either directly or as referred pain. When that happened, he’d take things very slowly to start when administering, checking in constantly.
If insertion didn’t cause me pain, my impression was he ran the water in quite fast, lifting the can as needed to keep a fairly constant flow rate. The sooner we could get my right side to fill, the sooner the worst of the flare would end.
Either way, he’d give me a lot of massage while I retained and then to help start expulsion once my ascending colon had filled and any tender areas were less painful. His technique was almost always successful in getting me out of a flare.
If I’m feeling well to start and taking a preventative solo enema, I can keep the flow quite high provided I’m careful to keep the water warm and free of air. This usually yields a good release and buys me 2-3 weeks in which I’m very unlikely to be bothered by IBS.