Vent

I'm posting this for my own reason, I feel like I need to tell someone, and I have questions to ask. This is my personal story, and I feel this is the only place I can really post things like this without getting looked down upon, this is one of the few places our fetish is understood.

Basically I have a fetish for wearing diapers, I absolutely love the smell of them, the soft feel of them, I love a wet diaper, and I always end up cuming after I wet my diaper. Rarely do I mess in them, but it does happen. Whenever I am done with my diaper, when I come, I always feel like killing myself after doing it. I guess because I can't accept this fetish, but there is no way getting around it. I have had a fetish for diapers for as long as I can remember (I am in my teens). I have not worn a diaper for close to 2 years now, but just a few hours ago I went and bought another pack, and I don't regret it right now, but I most likely will a little later.

I'm so afraid that my family or friends will find out, it would scre things up so bad.

What I was hoping someone out there could answer for me; Why does one get turned on by wearing a diaper? Personally I can not find an answer to that question, I just know I do. Therefore I would love to hear from sone of you guys out there.

Have you ever heard of anyone growing out of the fetish?

I guess if you gre out of it, you wouldn't be here to post. But I have hope.

Tank you for reading, I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Please bear with me should you find typos, english is not my mother language.

Hi Prutlars, don't worry. Some of the feelings you're having are not uncommon. It might almost be said, they're normal. Normal for us diaper lovers anyway. I'm not saying any of what you're dealing with is easy, but allot of us have the same feelings at one time or another.

I have always loved diapers myself. For as long as I can remember I've had those feelings. In all my years I have not found the reason for, why. Some people do have reasons, and know where it started for them. But, there are many who don't know why or how it came to be. I myself, have just kinda put that aside, because I just don't think I will ever be able to point to something in my life and say, that's it! That don't sound easy, or like a good answer, but it's one of those things that's out of my control. So, I let it go long ago. I decided to just enjoy what it is, however I could.

You are also not alone, in the feelings of a let down after you have climaxed. It is a common theme, and I've heard many people say the same thing. Again, I think that happening is only natural, and normal. However, if you really feel like you want to kill yourself, that is very troubling. If that is so for you, you should seek some professional help. You may need someone to help you deal with extream feelings like that for sure!!!

I just hope you mean that as a figure of speach?

Sometimes when that happens, feeling real low after a climax, you should remember you may feel bad at the moment, but it will pass and you'll feel better soon. Also you can think about the fun you'll have doing again later, or another time. That's the great thing about self indulgence or sex in general (wearing diapers too). Even if it wasn't a real good one, you can always do it over again 😁 That really wasn't a good one ??? DO OVER!!! 😁 😁 😁

What I think I'm really trying to say is, don't let those feeling get you to down. There are always peaks and valleys to deal with. When you're done with a climax and feel bad, just move on to something else, and you'll feel better, don't dwell on those feelings! Have fun and enjoy! That's why were here 😄

Hey, thank you for the reply. The kill myself part was indeed a figure of speech, thankfully. I would never do such a thing. 😃

Hearing your thoughts helps, puts things into perspective some. If there are anymore out there with stories to tell, please do so!

I sort of know how you feel as though I'm very much older than you,I'm just over 60, I have for most of my life to keep the adult baby side a secret wich meant that I had very few friends male or female and now I'm trying to find some female adult babies and diaper lovers to share with and maybe at sometime in my life I will find that someone to share with I just wish you good luck

I think most of can relate. I've regularly worn diapers now for over 50 of my 56 years. I can remember the event that triggered my return but I have also thought about diapers for as long as I can remember.

You may not want to be in diapers after your "act" but try not to get into a binge/purge cycle. Supplies are expensive and you will regret destroying your supplies. As you get older diapers and plastic pants will become just another article of clothing.

Even to this day and after thousands of diapers I still enjoy when I diaper myself. Not in a sexual sense but in a satisfaction sense. I belong in diapers and I have accepted that this is who I am. I will never wish that I could go back to that day when I was 13 and thought "what would it be like to put on a diaper and wet it".

Enjoy who you are. Enjoy that you can reach out to others who also like diapers. I didn't have that option when I was your age.

I'm glad to hear you don't really have thoughts of killing yourself Prutlars. But then, I still understand what you mean. Sometimes I think to myself, how silly is this, and feel embarrassed for myself. But like allot of thoughts they are only quick and fleeting, a passing alter ego if you might. It's something like if you were in front of a big camp fire and loved the fire and how warm it was, and admired the colors. You might have a thought to put a hand in the fire! But you don't, it's only a passing thought, and you immediately know that's not for you!!!

And Dlinmsp brought up the point of binge purge, good point! I have never done that myself, but I have come close and had thoughts of doing so. Glad I didn't! 😄

So, go ahead and be who you are and enjoy! It's good to know there are so many others who feel like you. 😁

Hi Prutlars, glad you liked my posts, that said I will agree with all of the above. Luvs-it I believe the term is “Like a moth drawn to the flame” But the truth of the matter is that thousands of children and teens are setting on the edge of there beds every night and slipping on some sort of protection and that these products are now available in every drug and food store in every town and village all across America with Canada included. Diapers and bed wetter pants are being sold by the manufacturers, with the expectation of a growing customer base. Rising numbers of stressed out kids and young adults that are seeking some sort of peace and tranquility in they lives. They are turning to non medicated solutions that provide them with stress relief and symptom management. You will not have the same problems that many of us older ones have had in the past. There is a very good chance that you will be able to meet someone that will share in your life style. I have not heard of anyone giving it up completely. It is addictive the same way love is, and who wants to give up on Love. To be able to love someone and share the life experience with them, and that may include diapers, is what every person searches for. Acceptance of one’s position leads to the ability to grow and prosper and live in the reality of it.

This thread is already worth gold to me, thank you to all of you whop replied. I read it all, and it's making me think. It is indeed nice to finally talk to someone that feels the same way, part of why I hate this fetish of mine so much, is because it's so.. weird if you will to so many people. It's fine to stand out, and things change. Maybe one day wearing diapers will become an accepted thing.

In regard to the last bit of your post, Luvs it; I already have an idea of what I want with my life. Now it'll get even more personal, read it if you feel like it!

You mention that diapering is addictive, just like love or sex is. And I agree. Especially since diapers are a huge turn on in my case. Howeever, my plans for my life does not include kids, a solid relationship, or settling down. In my spare time I love photographing, I love making art. Art is my passion, in whichever form it comes in. I could not live without music, i must spend at least 5-6 hours every day just listening to music. I am also completely atheist, I do not believe in any supernatural beings whatsoever. My plan is to travel, and travel a lot. I want to see every corner of the world, and document it. I want to share the world with as many as I can, promote our little planet. If I can evoke a feeling in you with my pictures, no matter if they're feelings of joy or disgust, I have reached my goal.

I believe that I can overcome one of the most vital parts of human nature, love. I believe anything is possible if you set you mind to it, and thereby also this fetish. I have so much respect for you guys out there who have accepted yourselves as you are, and live by it. I couldn't do that. Yes yes I know, I am young (19) and naive still I'm sure, I can verify that when I look back. That's no surprise to anybody I guess.

What i am getting at here is that I feel that this fetish is standing in my way. I've got so many things I want to do with my life, and spending my time in diapers is just not one of them. (Although I bet that must be pretty darn great.)

I managed to write way more than I had planned, but this is the first time I ever tell anyone about this. Please bear with me.

Howdy Prutlas, it sounds to me like you are a, kind, very smart, and descent person!!! Be proud of who you are!!! Your love for diapers is not something you chose to have, it was thrust upon you and from what I've seen about the only thing you can do is accept that!!! Heck I've heard of guys having them self's castrated and the feeling is still there. What you need to realize is that it doesn't make you a bad person. You had no choice in this matter. If you think I'm pulling your leg just think about gay people, they didn't chose to be gay, There's a heck of a lot of people in this world struggling with feelings they cant control. I myself thank God that my struggle was not over something wrong and illegal like pedophilia or being a serial killer!!! The only one your hurting is your self, Please, Please don't do that!!!!! Could I please add you to my friends list?

I would also like to talk to you on the phone if that's possible, I really believe I could help!! (Ben there done that) Send me a private message if you wish. Just remember your not alone!!! 😉 😁

Hopefully your friend

jonjon

Hey Prutlas, you sound like a very intelligent, very together young person. You might not think so, but it shows! I just wanted to say, I hope you do realize all those great goals, I'm sure you will. You don't sound like the type of person who would let something stop him for reaching them. So, you have nothing to worry about, your attachment to diapers will in no way interfere with what you want, and have to do in your life. It's part of who you are, but only one part. It will find it's own place in your life I'm sure.

Luvs It is right it will only hold you back if you let it, and I know Mamasboy, Luvs It, and my self are all willing to help you in any way we can, like I said we've all ben there done that.

jonjon

Hey again guys, thanks for all the kind words!

And sure Jonjon, you can add me. But I don't know about a phone call, I'll need to think about that. Sine I live on the other side of the atlantic, it wont be cheap either.

I'm really starting to doubt this diaper thing, maybe I should just embrace them and let them be a part of me. I just don't know. Right now, I'm sitting here trying to mess it, just to get that feeling back I've been missing, but wont admit to, yet I am doing it. Watch me hate myself in a little.

Yea I know about the disgust feelings and putting your diapers away for a few days. That's what I think I could help you with. When you get those feelings try putting a diaper on and go about your routine as normal and hopefully they will soon fade away.

jonjon

Well Prutlars dont worry about your feelings so much!!!! You are a fine young lady who has a fetish for something in life , whats the big deal? Nothing you have been doing in diapers affects anyone including you. Your fetish is born into you from the begining, you didnt choose it it chose you for some reason. But now that you got the diaper bug dont try and hide from it, that will never work . You will see aftera few more years it is still there and you may feel still weird about it but it never goes away "EVER"! So dont beat yourself up about this its not that big of a deal really . Millions of people who are incontinent wear them every day all day and learn to like them , my self included in the last part. It is not something that people think is right but people dont seem to care either. You may think people will think your weird or a pedohille or something but you will see these same people searching the internet for butt plugs to stick up their butts at the sametime callling youa pervert or something!!! Everyone has a fetish in this world, some are not that big a deal others are. You are a diaper lover and you are not alone as you can see here in this post. So dont worry about waht others think about you , learn to love yourself and your things in life you love , like diapers , and people will accept you for you . Hope we all helped you out here , but you need to realx and not figure out how to stop this fetish becasue like we all said here its never going to go away "EVER"!!!! so learn to love it and be agood person in life and the only thing poeple will see in you is your personality and goodwill not your special underwear you love.

mamasboy

I'm glad to hear that others are getting something out of the thread too, I know I am. I think I had all my questions answered now, I feel pretty good. Wether I will keep fighting the fetish or try to accept I will leave you to guess at. 😉

Thanks for all the replies, you have all been very helpful!

It's good to see so many people responding to this thread. I am sure that so many of us have been through very similar thoughts.

I know that I did the same when I first started properly getting back in to nappies in my late teens. There was a huge sexual thing about wearing a nappy, always resulting in masturbation, then massive guilt. Binge and purge were common - I threw away so many nappies and plastic pants, but kept coming back for more.

Eventually I got to the stage where I could wear a nappy for a longer period of time without having to masturbate - I effectively broke the sexual element. I could then just enjoy wearing a nappy and all the wonderful feelings of comfort and security they gave me.

It took a lot of time to "train" myself to not get too sexually tied up in nappies.

Sure there was still a sexual element to wearing nappies, especially when I wet them and to this day there are times when a wet nappy is still highly sexual.

The guilt was still a big problem for ages, but then I spoke to another DL - yes, actually spoke on the phone! Wow, what a day that was, chatting on Yahoo one day this person gave me their phone number - so with beating heart I rang him. I with-held my own number on his advice so I still had privacy.

I just sat and listened - he spoke to me for ages and "told" me all about how I was feeling and what I had been through - it was as if he had been a fly on the wall during all my years of torment with nappies.

The most important thing he said was "give up the guilt or give up the nappies" - it made so much sense. I knew I couldn’t give up nappies, they were just too important to me, so I gave up the guilt and that was a massive turning point in my life.

I bought more and more nappies and I wore them more often so they became just a different choice of underwear. I met up with a few other AB/DL's via Yahoo messenger, I even told a few very close friends and guess what - they were all fine with it.

Now I wear nappies most of the time when ever I can, which is pretty much all the time except for at work or visiting family.

I also have a few DL friends and we can do all the normal things friends do but with the added bonus of being able to wear nappies whilst doing them and also chat about nappies should we have the need.

If it helps Prutlars, I have grown out of being an AB. I just want to wear nappies and I am happy with just them and a onesie. I only use onsies because I wear outdoors and they are great for when you are bending down - they help keep your secret !!

I did go through something a lot of people can relate to, as an AB I have thrown my wardrobes out 3 times now - guilt is one of the recurring reasons.

However if I found a partner (girlfriend) who wanted to explore the AB lifestyle with me as the baby, I could easily slip back in to it. Or just as readily enduldge her in it but being a nappy wearer myself.

I don't really know why someone is turned on by wearing diapers. For me, I started wearing diapers when I was 11. My aunt put me back in diapers for bed wetting and wetting my pants. I was only in diapers in the daytime for about 8 months, but I was a bedwetter until I was almost 17. I had a boyfriend when I was 12, and I would always become erect when I was changed. I was encouraged to mastrubate when I was being changed, and I did enjoy that. I would be especially excited when I was changed right after being with my boyfriend, so even them rubbing baby lotion on me would make me cum. I am still excited when I am in diapers. I wouldn't worry about your feelings, even though some people would see it as strange, for you and me, it is normal.

Hi again folks, it's been a while.

First of all, how in the world did I get points? I can see new parts of the forum now too, I didn't do a thing.

A pleasure seeing others found my thread useful too, and also a joy reading through it.

@Sandy, it does help. I'm thankful that you posted your story. It's gotten a lot "better" if you will with me too, I am definitely growing out of the diaper wearing. When I made the first post of this thread, I could hardly stop thinking about it. The other day I actually found myself taking it off again, before I wet it, or had climaxed. That's the first time.

I'm sitting here in my disposeable right now, just enjoying the sensation. But it's gone from an obsession, to a mean of enjoying myself. I still hate myself when I'm done, and I am getting less and less enjoyment out of it. I've had some really really close calls on getting my secret revealed, but I think i am still safe. That also keeps me from putting them on.

Thanks for all the posts, my thoughts go out to you. I am so happy I have someone to talk to about this.

I apologize for the double post, but I felt like writing a last post here.

It's 2:44 AM here, take a shot at where I live.

If you want to listen to one beautiful song, that I feel expresses quite well the dilemma that I myself face, and probably others, follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XtG5SGL0Xw

The song is titles Orestes, by the band A Perfect Circle. I've listened to this track countless times, I just love it. Finally a shot I took the other day, just gotten home from a trip to poland, seeing the concentration camps there, the barb wire and the gas chambers where hundres of thousands died. If you look close enough, you might just see my soul.

http://i40.tinypic.com/2e36as3.jpg

This thread resonated with me in ways I hadn't thought about for a long time. When I was a teen, wet my bed and had to wear diapers and rubber pants at night until I was 17, I can't recall every feeling guilty, ashamed or hating myself for wetting my bed and wearing diapers. I started playing with myself around 12 and soon found myself doing it at night before falling asleep, and again in the morning in my wet diapers before I was changed. I was a horny teen. Climaxing, cumming, ejaculating never made me feel bad about myself or cause me to want to stop wearing diapers. I suspect I felt that way because no one in my family made a fuss about my bedwetting and diapering, I received a great deal of support from my mother and even though she knew I masturbated in my diapers, was never harsh or critical about it, so I could simply enjoy it. But things changed over the years and once I was out of college and grad school and started my career. While I still had the urge or drive to wear diapers and rubber pants and wet myself, but couldn't do it very often and felt I needed to hide it from others since I no longer had support and approval from my mom. By then I realized wearing diapers and wetting in them was not something the general public found acceptable or appropriate, and I became afraid my career would be damaged if anyone found out. I wanted to stop wearing diapers and never wear again, just be like all the guys around me, plus dating girls and forming relationships with women would be easier, less frightening. While I tried to stop, I couldn't, and every time I played with myself, which was every time I pinned my diapers on, I'd feel awful about myself, quickly got out of my diapers and often trashed my diaper supplies, swearing this was the last time. Eventually I met a girl, got married and had children, suppressed my desires and need to wear diapers as much as I could, but always ended up in a diaper in rubber pants wetting and messing myself, masturbate and clean up quickly, trashing it all and hating myself once I came.

Eventually, my wife and I divorced, and I started wearing diapers more often, used my diapers more and more for satisfying my sexual needs. I dated girls and told them about my diaper fetish. Within a year or two those feelings of hating myself every time I came in diapers stopped. I began to really enjoy myself and the girls I met who I told about my diaper fetish. It took 25 years to finally accept myself and enjoy my diaper fetish and no longer want it to end.