I'll never find anyone

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that they'll never find that significant other thats into this kind of thing?

The honest answer is that if you are a heterosexual male seeking a female companion that is into the lifestyle.

Your odds are not good. Although Female DL's and AB's are the minority I believe this state exist because of the fear that some young women feel about coming forward with theyr desires, they stay in the shadows reading stories and never overcoming their trepidation. I am certain that there are hundres perhaps thousands more females out there that are alone, ashamed, and reluctant.

Why shouldn't they be, how often do you hear of some internet psycho showing up at a girls door. Add to that this thing we do is very intimate, so when a new girl comes on the scene and is bombarded by 200 guys with questions and often times nasty proposals. Well what do we as men expect to happen.

Sorry to soapbox on your thread mate, but until we as a sub culture can create a safer atmospere for women I fear it will be only the truely brave that come out of the shadows.

I feel hopeless being straight.... I think. I have had a few gay fantasies and I'm starting to consider a male DL friend although I have never had a gay experience. What to do, what to do?

Sandy, the first thing to do is to take stock of your self. You are great, as simple as that! I imagine you to be a loving caring person that is sensitive to other peoples wants and needs. Your in demand!!! Its all about how you sell yourself and find a buyer. Decide who is your customer and what would they like. Then deliver it without sham or apprehension. Be your unabridged self!!!I too felt like you at one time and because I knew what I wanted, I attracted people to me, that wanted to ride my ride. Not all of them stayed but they all enjoyed being with me. Courage is some thing you will find when you need it.

WOW that was as hard edge as they come.

For my own part, I never cared if they were ab or not. I am a Purest TOP. i exist to love them, nurture them and punish them as needed. Although my oldest one, (Sara is 2😎 has been drifting away lately. Cody on the other hands needs constant attention, BUT I don't care if she came home an said she wanted to put pictures of dragons in her bumm. I love her very much and we both understand each others role in our lives.

Still, I can't help but say, it does take a long time for a woman to feel safe talking to a man, especially in our lifestyle.

Crispinavi is exactly right. Karma for you.

I see this way too often in this community. Guy can't find a single-and-looking straight girl who's in tune with the same fetishes he has. While it's good to narrow your search a little, it's a lost cause if you're looking for something too specific. True, some guys hit the jackpot and find a woman with similar kinks, but it's exceedingly rare.

Truth is, it's WAY easier to step out of the AB/DL community and find a woman who is more likely to love you more than your fetish. That way, when the right level of trust is built up, she can indulge in your fetish and-- this is the most important part of all-- you can indulge in any of HER desires or fantasies. It's a two-way street. You need to stay sincere and give it plenty of time.

I've had the opposite situation. I am an AB female but every male I've ever been in a relationship with tells me they could never have a lasting relationship with a female AB. They don't see themselves having a family with one.

The few males I have found who are into AB's are the weird creepy ones who have told me they want to impregnate me and then raise the daughter (cause they can dictate what sex the child is) as an AB/slave and that is just not right in any way shape or form even as a "fantasy"

Kuri, you'll definitely find someone, I assure you. You just have to do what you're doing, staying in contact with those that are in this lifestyle. Trust me, there's plenty of creepers in the vanilla world too. I've met several women in this lifestyle, and I'm 50. Since there seems to be more men than women into this, you have a very good chance!

I think your best opportunity would be to find someone who is open minded and wants to accept you as you are. I suspect the chances of any of us finding an AB (or in my case DL) partner who is suitable is pretty remote. You are not only searching for someone who is AB/DL but for someone who has a lot of other likes and dislikes in common and doesn't live on the other side of the planet. The statistical chances of finding that match must be fairly remote I am afraid

R

If I can't fine a girl friend then I can settle for one of the many ladies that wants me to live with them. Kuri that is the first and last time I ever want to hear something like that. That is one of the most messed up thinks I have ever heard. If I was having a family and I have thought about it. I would either hid it from them till they were older and told then them or I'd never tell them cause having your father tell you about his fetishes it really creepy and should never be done. Well maybe if that father found out his son was just like him. Same with mother.

If you are a female into this, you have better luck finding a guy because lot of them are looking for a woman into this too. But sadly lot of them just don't know how to get one so they all scare them off and find them as creeps. I used to have lot of men messaging me on Diapermates because I was female and liked diapers. If you are a guy, you are better off meeting vanillas and then hoping they will accept this and maybe be willing to try it and get into it too. But don't bother trying to find another woman into this or else you will scare her off.

I have never found anything creepy about talking to a female because she likes diapers. You just meet and talk and see how much you have in common.

@Kit: Thanks very much for being so honest and straightforward in your thoughtful post. It is daunting yet illuminating. Please allow me to ask you something. Sorry for the long post that follows. (I do try to be succinct.) Please note I'm not posting a personal-ad here, but rather am asking about the wisdom and propriety of private messaging, and about what women do and don't want, generally speaking.

I am a single, straight man (and an adult-toddler diaperboy/diaper-lover/Daddy switch) in his mid-'40's seeking a happy, healthy, monogamous, committed relationship with a single adult woman. (As I mention below, I gather you are married with children, so please don't misunderstand why I mention the foregoing.) I don't sleep around. It has been nearly a decade since my last full-fledged romantic relationship, and I've only had a few false-starts since then. Though I would not rule out a single female play-partner, I really am looking for a relationship with ab/dl roleplay and ageplay as a part of the sexual component. I do love traditional interaction between a man and a woman, and so I seek to augment, not to displace, that interaction with kink or fetish-play.

I do agree that the so-called "vanilla conversion" is a valid approach. Until very recently, that was my only approach. It has worked with varying degrees of success, but I have never had an in-person relationship with a Mommy or an ab/dl woman, including an adult-baby, adult-toddler, or adult-little girl. (Obviously, my diaper-fetish has nothing to do with minors. Safe, sane, consensual adult roleplay and ageplay only.)

Sometimes, here and on other sites on which female ab/dl's and Mommies are members, I do sent polite, friendly unsolicited messages of introduction to women whose profiles and stated interests jibe with mine. I don't ever "hit on" women or importune them. I do address the commonalities in our erotic interests in a candid, grown-up way, but I always make sure to mention that I'm looking to become acquainted and then to become friends before I'm looking for anything more involved. Mutual trust, respect, and caring are the bedrock of any relationship. I do also mention my non-erotic interests and provide some general background information, so a woman will get a preliminary sense of who I am.

My question is this: is the mere fact of an unsolicited message what you're referring to when you mention "creeps" (not I) who scare women away (which I've inadvertently done)? Or are you speaking to unwanted, superficial, sexually explicit messages from men merely wanting a "hook-up"? (I never send those.) Or are you addressing some middle-ground of communication from men? I'm just wondering.

I am a Christian gentleman who is extremely intelligent, well-educated, articulate, polite, and respectful. I am honest and forthright, true, and I am sometimes voluble in my prose, but I am never coarse or vulgar or crass or demanding or inappropriate. So I'm trying to learn more about how to approach women online (this being fairly new to me -- I just started four months ago) in a way that is, generally speaking, welcome and likely to prompt a positive response. I wish never to offend anyone, or to behave inappropriately. Any feedback you wished to provide would be much appreciated.

By the way, I do post on the fora here and know that is a great way to get acquainted. I am patient and am looking for something worthwhile.

Allow me to close by stating that I really enjoy your posts. I do gather that you are married with children, so certainly I'm not writing to seek more than friendship with you. Thanks, and best wishes to you and to all. Happy nappies!

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll undoubtedly never find a geographically-acceptable and age-appropriate female DL. First, their Internet presence is overwhelmingly sparse, and the few who do dare to identify themselves as both female and DL do not reside anywhere accessible to me. Secondly, those who do identify as DL are not often seeking straight men. And probably the biggest reason is that they're terrified of meeting one of the myriad psychotics and predators who infect sites such as this.

I truly wish there existed a way to weed out the sickos (said I while wearing my diaper), which might encourage more DL women to actively pursue like-minded males. And, of course there also may come a day when horses will fly (LOL)

The first thing you have to do is ensure that you are a marketable commodity. Sure, everybody has their faults and flaws, but there are usually compensating qualities that make up for the shortcomings. Why would someone else want you as a friend, partner or lover? Those are the factors that make you marketable.

We all have our wants, and our needs. Understand the difference. Putting your wants first is going to send the wrong message. If you are all about your wants, you aren't going to find what you want because others will perceive you as being all about you. They don't need you when a cat is much cheaper. And we all know that "it's all about the cat" is the mantra of every cat.

Yes, you want to find someone, but makes sure you are someone the other person would want to find.

Well said quincy, I would add that if you are like me, there's no denying your dl side. There's so many members here that have to deny their involvement. I could never have done that. Kudos to those that have been able to either deny or greatly curb their desires. That being said, I feel that the relationship with another person should be the primary focus. BUT, there's no denying this major part of us. The abdl thing is not something that's easy for most women (or men) to grasp and you need to bring something a lot greater to the table. If you do, and the person is fond of you, then is the time to break the news to her. After she knows the bigger part of you. There's always the chance that she'll find your abdl side unacceptable and that's the time to move on. There's just too much pain involved trying to hide the abdl thing. ....all good things come to those that wait....

In my old age I've come to believe theirs two types of people. Givers and takers. I your gal is the giving type and loves you, she'll accept your abdl side. If she's a taker, forget it. And run like hell........

Statistically speaking, if you're a male seeking a like-minded female, the smart money says it will probably never happen. And even though an initial meeting should ever take place, the possibility of it developing into an ongoing relationship is even more slim.

Everything I have read on the subject indicates a vastly disproportionate number of men to women who are AB or DL. Few women seem to be seeking men with whom to share this paraphilia, let alone those even daring to identify as being diaper wearers. And of that universe, there are fewer yet who actually use a diaper for its intended purpose. Of those, there are even fewer who ever mess in one.

Interestingly, gay men would seem to have a greater chance of finding other gay men for diaper play. However, for those of us who are straight, our cherished fantasy of sharing our fetish with a female partner will undoubtedly remain just that... a fantasy.

I love enemas and ever thing about them but I have recently started getting curious about wearing diapers. It seems like there are a lot of people who enjoy it. Is the hardest part admitting that you might enjoy it or getting some one else involved with you. My other half hates enemas and every thing about them. So the diaper part will more than likely stop before it gets started. I do self administered enemas so Is it possible to have someone of the opposite sex into this fetish without getting romantically involved?

While I haven't had a relationship where the other person was into diapers themselves, I've been in a number of relationships where they were fully ok with it and supported my choice to wear. Those relationships ended for other reasons not relating to the diapers (a few abusive exes).

That was certainly a feeling I had for at least 30 years. I knew I there were girls who would spend an evening or a night or even a weekend with me and let me wear my diapers and rubber pants with, wet myself, go out to dinner with me and let me wet my diapers, talk about my fetish, play around with me, change me, and on two occasions let me mess in my diapers, but I never believed I could find a girl who could love me, live with, marry me, have children or raise a child with me and let me wear diapers and rubber pants as much as I wanted, go to bed with me in my diapers, make love with me or simply have a lifetime together and allow me to experience and act out my diaper fetish. But I finally did meet that woman, and now we are happily married.

It may seem impossible or would be a miracle at times. I believe that there is someone for everyone. I would think finding someone would be easier for a genuine incontinence person that wears for a medical need and not for strictly as a fetish. Even if it's just a fetish, there is someone out there. Ii know it maybe hard but stay positive. Be who you are! I haven't had much luck myself being 51 and wearing diapers for a medical need now going on 9 years. I know that there is that special person out there and patiently waiting.

It can be done and it has been done. I know some people that met here and are now married. Never stop trying.

You can find someone; however, you have to do so in person.

Do a little research and find out where the nearest munch will be held. Go there and meet the people there.

That's what I did and I met a dominant woman who enjoyed giving me enemas. Unfortunately she has since passed away due to cancer.

So get out there and meet other people who are into bdsm and you can make it happen