Does Punishment work on adults for changing bad bhavior?

I have on two different girlfriends that had developed two bad habits. One of them was smoking and the other was over spending / spending money on frivolous things. For example, $600 for two tickets to a concert. She wanted to get first rate seats. As it turns out, she did not even get to go to the concert.

I wanted to help them break their bad habits by punishing them. The punishment we choose was spanking. In the first case, that was the only punishment I could give. As time went by she continued to smoke and the spankings got harder. I also did not like dating somebody who smoked and she got tired of a sore bottom. As a result she dumped me.

In the second case, I could use both spankings and other punishments like essays which I did. However, she continued to over spend and my punishments were not getting the job done. At one point, she asked me for a gift of money and I refused. Our relationship went down hill and we broke up shortly afterwards. In part because she was rude to me. I would say it was a mutual breakup but it was more me than her.

In any case, I have found spanking my girlfriends to be a lot of fun but it has not been effective in changing behavior. Have you had positive experiences where punishment does change behavior?

Obviously in the two experiences you cited, spanking didn’t “fix” the behavior. Seems adult spankings are more of a sexual or fetish activity vs an effective tool to correct behavior. The spanked person may deliberately break the rules to feed their fetish.

No because it broadly doesn’t work in children either, it just teaches them not to get caught. And if you’re doing it to adults in a kink setting, it just makes them want to do the bad behavior more to get punished on purpose.

I was going to post something clever here but sorry, I just can't think of a witty reply that would not just point to the obvious. Punishing someone who enjoys it is positive reinforcement for bad behavior.

It reminds me of the anime shows Charger Girls and Bludgeoning Angel. If you have not seen them it is worth the time to watch them. Lots of Wholy fuck that's just so crazy moments. More so with Bludgeoning Angel.

And if you’re doing it to adults in a kink setting, it just makes them want to do the bad behavior more to get punished on purpose.

That is why the punishment has to be an actual punishment, not something that turns them on.

Restrictions - no sitting, clothes, specific foods (you can eat them in front of them),

Boring repetitive activities - dusting using a Q-tip or toothbrush, hauling something somewhere one small piece at a time (laundry - folded and put away one piece at a time), groceries put away one can at a time, put pasta in the container one piece at a time. Can be supplemented with other punishment(s) to distract and make them not do well to continue the punishment and get the point across.

Enema, suppositories.

You get the idea to think on.

Until five years ago when sadly she passed my aunt (not a real aunt - no relation) would punish me with enemas or a strapon fucking, often in front of her friend who would watch just to add humiliation to the mix. This would be for things like getting caught masturbating over her lingerie, using her sex toys without permission or viewing porn on her laptop. Did it stop this naughty nephew from misbehaving? Nope ! 😃

MissStress,

I wanted to use food restriction as punishment however, my girlfriend said that it was not within her limits citing health concerns. That is, she wanted to eat healthy and therefore she would not want to give up any food. My response was that food restriction would be something like no alcohol, no soda and/or no sweets. But the answer remained no.

I don’t thinks it’s as simple as saying “it’s just a fetish, it doesn’t even work on kids” etc. It really does just depend on the individual and what their intention is going into the situation. I mean, there is an entire industry of professional disciplinarians who solely deal with this kind of thing. While I’m sure there is a fraction of people who see them because it is sexually stimulating for them, I can say from experience for many it really is about behavior modification. For some people, it’s purely sexual. For others, it’s purely about behavior, and for some it’s a mixture of both. People may have their opinions about the psychology involved in someone especially in the latter category, but we are all unique individuals with unique experiences and backgrounds. I don’t know that it makes sense to apply broad statements here.

In @BobFromNJ ’s case it sounds to me like these girls probably never had any intention of changing their habits anyway, and likely saw the experience as purely sexual or as just going along with something he wanted to do. In my personal experience, if the other person never mentions these sorts of subjects on their own, and doesn't explode with joy the first time you bring up the idea, then there is a good chance they will never understand and will eventually resent you for it if they agree to try it out, particularly if they aren’t very good about setting boundaries or communicating.

Spanking and corporal punishment has always worked on me in terms of behavior modification, both as a kid and now as an adult. Even though there is certainly an element of it that I find very exciting, it has never really been something I seek out purely for sexual gratification. If I am actually being punished for something, I go into it with the mindset and intention of improving my behavior and doing some honest self-reflection. We also never conclude a punishment with sex.

Are you referring to “fantasy “ punishments, or behavioral changes? You can’t “ground “ an adult for bad behavior, and a psychologist can’t fix defiant behavior.

@JJM No, I’m referring to something like real “domestic discipline”, or the many real, professional disciplinarians that offer such services outside of any sexual or BDSM context. I assure you, you can ground an adult for bad behavior IF they are willing to participate in such a thing.

Just because these things are rare does not mean they don’t exist.

I once asked a therapist, “Do I need to have my behavior corrected?”

Luckily she had a solid wooden straight backed chair.

She grabbed it then had me approach her as she sat on it. She ordered me, “Unzip your pants and let them drop!”

I did, then she grabbed my arm and pulled me over to her, putting me over her thighs. She released my arm which along with my other, went to the floor to support me hanging across her lap.

I felt her hand slip under the waistband of my tighty whites. She forcefully yanked them down, baring my buttocks.

Then it started. Repeated high lifted hand, brought down firmly and literally “ soundly” on my milky white buttocks!

I forget when I stopped counting the hits. I do remember too, the hits were coming faster and faster. My buttocks were stinging and now sore as she continued spanking me.

She wasn’t big on conversation , but did admonish me, saying, “You’re getting corrected and Yes You need correcting!”

When she finally stopped. She had me stand up. She got off the chair and told me to stand and bend over the back of the chair and took a picture of my “ corrected behavior”, my bottom. Crimson !