Thoughts and emotions while having the drill

What thoughts and emotions come over you while having a drilling? Mine are fear and humiliation. I usually am praying that the doctor doesn’t get out the drill again because it hurts terribly. I am scared especially if he says the cavity is small and doesn’t require numbing. It always hurts anyway and I am waving my hand wildly with my head pinned to the headrest with dust flying out of my mouth and in my nose while he says “just another minuttttte!”

Similar, humiliation at not having looked after myself and fear of the pain.

My thought process when I'm in the chair is that anything that happens or whatever treatment is required is a result of my insufficient home care. The drill, and everything that comes with it, is deserved punishment for my failures. I am usually hesitant to stop a doctor from working, even if it hurts a little bit, and will just accept what's happening. I have been working on advocating for myself better, but I still finding myself slipping into old habits.

It depends on the skills of the dentist. Some seem to have a "heavy hand" and make me nervous cause I know in any moment I would feel pain, even though my mouth is numb.

If it's not the case I just relax.

I remember I had this dentist when I was a kid and he worked in a public school in this dark old dentistry room which had this old drill where you can see the wheels spinning and the belts running, that kind of drill made me nervous. At the same time he worked in his own private clinic which was very different, well lit, with modern drills. It was a very relaxing place

I love drilling but dam when his assistant is with him all Im thinking is "Dont get hard dont get hard" now if it was a female dentist id be a mess but im also constantly thinking to myself like please dont hit my gums like you did last time or got water in my eyes (no goggles or glasses given) which mad eme look like I was crying. hahah