Thoughts and emotions while having the drill

What thoughts and emotions come over you while having a drilling? Mine are fear and humiliation. I usually am praying that the doctor doesn’t get out the drill again because it hurts terribly. I am scared especially if he says the cavity is small and doesn’t require numbing. It always hurts anyway and I am waving my hand wildly with my head pinned to the headrest with dust flying out of my mouth and in my nose while he says “just another minuttttte!”

Similar, humiliation at not having looked after myself and fear of the pain.

My thought process when I'm in the chair is that anything that happens or whatever treatment is required is a result of my insufficient home care. The drill, and everything that comes with it, is deserved punishment for my failures. I am usually hesitant to stop a doctor from working, even if it hurts a little bit, and will just accept what's happening. I have been working on advocating for myself better, but I still finding myself slipping into old habits.