Advice for a first time play doc with female patients

I'm preparing for my first play exam, and was wondering if any docs could give me any advice beforehand or if any female patients could share what makes their experience memorably good. Thanks!

Every patient has different wants and limits, so open communication beforehand and during is big. And know your own wants and limits, the best ones have been when the patients and the doctors wants and limits match closely. Don't push past a limit, that's about as safe as playing catch with a live explosive. Never attempt a procedure you don't know how to extricate a patient from if something goes wrong.

If you and the patient have both done the ground work, then it will be great.

Keep it simple. Don't over schedule the playdate. You're going to want to do a ton of stuff because it's your first time. Keep your expectations reasonable.

Regardless of the gender of the participants, I will second @hearmyheart on communication and making sure you are comfortable performing anything you would want to perform. I would ask your partner explicitly what are their hard limits regarding sexual contact and causing pain/discomfort. I would also ask are there particular things that he/she/they/them want included in the play. Fetish play is erotic and very much sexual for many, so you should know where the line is set and what is included in the line. Likewise, you should also tell your partner what your limits are.

An example of a play exam I did many years ago with a female play patient and our discussion on consent (not illustrative of how anyone else's sessions should or will go): She was up for all normal general exam stuff: history intake, heart and lungs, abdominal exam, neuro checks, musculoskeletal exam, etc. She explicitly asked for a very thorough breast exam, and was on board for a manual vaginal and digital rectal exam. When asked about sexual limits, she stated she was totally fine with having me (the play doc) stimulate her with hands or toys to orgasm, but did not want to reciprocate anything sexual to me as the play doc. As the play doc, I told her that I was totally fine with her limits, what she wanted included in the exam, and stated she has every right to amend what she is comfortable with or say no to anything I was doing in the exam. I did state I was looking to do a lot of auscultation and pulse palpation as a part of the exam (that being one of my favorite things in exams), including when stimulating her, to which she was totally okay with.

As has already been said, keep your expectations reasonable. Talk to your patient beforehand and have a good plan in place for how the exam should go. I recommend Making an exam checklist that you can keep on a clipboard and refer to. Don’t do anything either of you are uncomfortable with. If your patient says “no” then respect that. If your patients asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with, don’t be afraid to say no yourself.

I remember The first time I pulled On the gloves, all of the pre planning I had gone over in my head seemed to fall out of my ears lol. Just have fun and know that it won’t be perfect, but it will be something to build on.

Have a plan, set limits & expectations…for me scripted is boring I like spontaneous 🍑🌡️

I’ve never done play doctor or been a play patient before but would love that a lot. I would want a lot of auscultation all over my body repeatedly through out the exam. And I also prefer a very thorough breast exam and multiple thorough breast exams and making the breast exams last up to an hour and then auscultating me all over my breast and under my breast and my chest and all over my body thoroughly making it last. and also having me completely naked on the exam table the whole time.

Telling me each time you are going to give me a breast exam in between Auscultating me on my breast & under my breast and all over my chest & having me sit up so you can listen to me breath a lot and have me take deep breaths for you while you listen all over my back and then have me lay down flat on my back again on the exam table for you and tell me you are going to listen to me on breast and then your going to begin another breast exam. You can also do lots of vaginal exams on me in between auscultating me a lot & lots of breast exams. you can feel and mash around on my tummy all over feeling of my tummy for anything abnormal and any places that you feel you need to listen on my tummy while feeling of my tummy I would love that too.

Each time you tell me you are going to begin another breast exam, you tell me it will last an hour and that you will auscultate me on my breast thoroughly and under my breast under each breast after the breast exam as the 2nd part of the breast exam.

I would echo what others have said below. I know your original post is from almost a year ago, but iIt would be fun to get a report on how things went, if you and your patient don't mind.

One of my favorite play docs likes to begin our exams with asking me to undress and put on a robe while he leaves the room. When he returns, he has me sit down in a chair so he can use his stethoscope. He then has me lie down on my back (typically on a bed, but sometimes we’re fortunate to have an exam table) and he begins a brief breast exam.

Then he’ll ask me to scoot down to the end of the bed and either using a sling or two chairs, he will have me spread my legs upward. With his gloved hands, he’ll examine my vulva and eventually begin the internal exam journey. He is very thorough and will let me know he can feel my g-spot. He’ll offer to massage it for me, but that means he needs to use a large speculum to get a good look. Recently, we’ve started to use a Gosset Retractor and that feels fantastic. After he’s brought me to orgasm, he’ll begin the rectal exam.

Typically, this is in the same position; however, sometimes he “needs a better view” and asks me to get on all fours.

Of course, you need to meet and discuss preferences and boundaries, and you can also talk about the medical fetish in general, what attracts you, what tools you like, the clothes you will wear, and so on. This will contribute to rapprochement and emancipation.

@CaitlinDFW @WOW202134 you both have very sexy openings of your exams. Should the play doc be flirty aswell and make sexually suggestive comments that leave you having an orgasm at the end?

I believe that the opening questioning is so important for setting the entire mood of the exam!

@CaitlinDFW @WOW202134 you both have very sexy openings of your exams. Should the play doc be flirty aswell and make sexually suggestive comments that leave you having an orgasm at the end?

That question very much depends on what you've agreed the exam is going to be. My preference is we don't have something scripted, but we're doing improv - in that we've agreed to the broad outline of a scenario and what procedures will be included and which ones are prohibited. For example: You're seeing a new doctor for a work related exam, you're not sure what is going to happen and the doctor takes some liberties that you don't feel you can say no to as you need the job. In that instance, a little creepy/flirty banter from the doctor is in character vs someone who wants a very straight medical exam. In that instance I would expect the doctor to act professionally.

@CaitlinDFW. Wonderful question which really brings to light the necessity of honest and respectful communication with the examiner partner. Having a full understanding and acceptance of what is to unfold is essential. That said, one could agree on some "surprises"

When I did play exams, slow and methodical was a big part of it. I'd suggest feel free to tell your playdoc to slow down.

Make sure and check in with the patient and see how they are doing and don't rush the exam.