I think what often can confuse us is that we are culturally conditioned to expect to fall into distinct categories (e.g., straight, LGBTQ+... and to me the "+" is "ad infinitum"). I.e., on the human sexuality spectrum, there is infinite variations of expression of sexuality and romance and __________?
i do not think choice has much to do with it? We may have an inkling here or there as to why we are the way we are, but most of it (i believe) is a mystery. i think it's a lot easier to discover the what than the why behind our desires and needs. i think it's particularly hard to study, because, at the end of the day, it's individual. Sure, we may all fall into larger categories, but one only has to spend a day reading posts on Zity to figure out one persons idea of sex is very different from another's.
i think discussions like this are great, because they demonstrate our vast diversity.
For me? i land pretty strongly on gay, bottom, sub side of the multidimensional sexual spectrum. i think guys often, straight or otherwise, express their romantic needs/desires through "just" sex. I.e., in my experience, (again, i know i a speaking in gross generalities) if i groped my former wife in passing, she'd be upset and feel objectified. As a (now) single gay guy, if a guy gropes me is tantamount to a marriage proposal (kidding). But seriously, my lust need/desire and romantic desire/need have a very thin barrier betwixt them. i've been being assertively plowed by a hook up Top (i.e., virtual stranger), Who had a way about Him and Who was fucking and touching me in such ways that i literally had to bite my mattress to keep from babbling how much i love and adore Him.
It's complicated lol.