Ha, great discussion!
Ditto those who advocate not wrestling with social/cultural norms, i.e., discover and be your honest, true self.
That said, i think what happens is our terms and labels sometimes get reversed in their function. I.e., they become a standard or definition we try to fit instead of a term we use to try and convey who and how we are.
In the context of just trying to convey who and how you (the OP) are, i think you did a great, detailed job. To muddy it up a bit, if we're gonna use terms here, it reads to me that you are more sub, receptive than 'gay' (or even Bi?). For instance, i often self describe as "total bottom with some sub." i recognize that i have submissive stuff in me, but i'm very total bottom when it comes to sex with Guys.
i have experienced where a guy will find and figure out how to manipulate the sub in me to do things i don't really want/need. As i see it, we are made up of lots of pieces... like a big puzzle. All the pieces do not fit together, but sometimes we try to force pieces that don't fit in an attempt to put the puzzle together. If we do that though, we discover the picture isn't right.