How I told my girlfriend

I’ve enjoyed enemas since my early 20s, but never told anyone. Ever.

My then girlfriend, now wife, (both of us were 27 at the time) and I had been dating for about a year, and I was headed out on a multi week business trip. She was part way through a week long juice cleanse.

the night before I was leaving we were relaxing and drinking some wine on the sofa. I asked her what all she had planned for the next couple days, and she — to my total surprise - said she was going to dig in at work, finish the last two days of her juice cleans, go get an enema, and have a girls night over the weekend.

I had never heard someone I know in my adult life say they were going to get an enema. I even said “what?” and she just brushed it off and said “oh an enema? it has to do with your butt” and moved on.

I was so excited and brought it back up and she explained what an enema was and said she does a couple juice cleanses a year and always got an enema at a medspa after one.

it was a couple more months before I actually told her I like enemas, but she had done another much shorter juice cleanse and kept trying to get me to do it with her. I refused constantly, and she finally said you don’t have to do the enema if that bothers you.

I finally told her I’d actually rather just do an enema with her at home when she finished her juice cleanse. She agreed, then said wait how do you do them at home, have you done one? I told her I liked them and did them with some frequency.

She’s to this day not in any way shape or form into them sexually but supports that they are fun for me, and we do them together (for cleanse purposes) every six weeks or so, although I do them more frequently for fun.

The medspa she used to go to has gone out of business, and we haven’t found another place. They were not colonics, but an actual enema from a bag.

just thought I’d share!

Enemas were always a tough topic for me to bring up when I was dating. I was not very outgoing when it came to the ladies, so most of the women I dated ended up being closely connected to friends or relatives, and I was mortified that my dirty little secret would become semi-public knowledge.

This was not a carefully devised plan, but for some reason I was a little more comfortable aaking them if I could give them a douche or watch them. That seemed to me a little more like a harmless (if just a little twisted) voyeuristic fantasy - nothing to do with butts or poop. I crossed that bridge with, I believe, 5 or so of the women I dated, 2 of whom were willing to go there (though neither routinely douched before or after).

With both of those who agreed to let me douche them, enemas eventually entered the picture as well. With the first, who was probably the least inhibited woman I ever dated, it was relatively easy to bring up. In fact, I just went there right away after I got a “sure, we can try that” response when I asked about douching, and got a “eh, why not?” i would not say she ever really got completely into enemas, but she always masturbated and came hard when I gave her one.

One time when she was really constipated but was mad at me for some reason ("C'mon. What's wrong?"; “I SAID NOTHING!!!!”), she left an enema bag hanging to dry in the shower and a vibrator on the vanity for me to find when I got home from work. Normally that would have really turned me on (and on some level, of course, it did), but I knew it was also meant as a super passive aggressive “fuck you”. She had shut down all enema activity for many, many months prior to that - even the night before that incident when she was painfully constipated - along with just about any other form of sexual interaction. Hard to believe that relationship didn't work out, huh?

But I digress. The other lady who let me douche her is now my wife. While she is not naturally super adventurous sexually, we have a great relationship and she is willing to get out of her comfort zone a little bit to make me happy. And in turn I accept there are some things I long to do that will rarely if ever be on the table. She let me give her an enema for constipation a couple of times but absolutely hated them. She also took no pleasure when I douched her and is concerned about ill health effects, so that has only happened a few times - the last of which was many years ago.

On the other hand, she happily gives me an enema and blowjob weekly, and we have great sex otherwise several times per month (which ain't bad for people married ~20 years and in their 50's).

It seems from many comments posted on Zity, and from my personal experience, that many women are willing to try enemas when they are trying to hook you. Then, when you are married they wake up the next morning and suddenly do not like enemas.

...... and also true with oral sex.

I introduced enemas a step at a time. My wife saw the bag and knew I used them for occasional constipation. Then it was getting her to administer and occasionally get one herself. She saw what happened to me after a good cleanse and that wasn't a huge leap to erotic enemas and some specialized nozzles. She has some great moves with a nozzle.

@vanhose Sorry for the indiscretion but you mentioned constipation. Did you talk to her or do it "hiddenly"?

Hidden at first then open

When my wife and I first met, she didn’t like doing enemas. However, her OB/GYN had prescribed enemas for relief of period cramps and constipation. So, though she didn’t like doing enemas, she reluctantly used them as her doctor prescribed. Fast forward a couple of years when she and my sister shared an appointment. One evening when my wife (girlfriend at the time) came in from work, she wasn’t feeling too good. When my sister saw her and asked what’s wrong, she told her, she thought she might be coming down with the flu. At that, my sister then told her, “You could use a couple of enemas. They’ll help you feel better.” Of course, my girlfriend balked at that suggestion. So, my sister talked to her about our use of enemas and what our grandmother used them for and the end results. My girlfriend reluctantly agreed, and my sister gave her a couple of enemas that evening. My sister gave them to my girlfriend real slow using a long-curved douche nozzle. The end results were, my girlfriend felt a lot better, and asked my sister to repeat the enemas the next evening. The next evening, when my sister repeated the enemas for my girlfriend, she had my girlfriend give her a couple of enemas as well. Afterwards, the two girls gave each other enemas when needed. So, by the time we got married, my wife didn’t have an issue with enemas, she had changed her opinion about them. Hence, we enjoyed doing enemas together for both health and pleasure from the beginning.

@Rick6981 I have a neighbor in her 70s who says that as a child, when she had any symptoms of a cold, her father would give her an enema, both on her and her siblings.

@brazilian said,

I have a neighbor in her 70s who says that as a child, when she had any symptoms of a cold, her father would give her an enema, both on her and her siblings.

My grandmother was a retired Registered Nurse and a firm believer in enemas for both kids and adults. In the fifties and sixties, doctors routinely prescribed enemas for colds and the flu among other things. If the doctor made a house call, the sick one was guaranteed an enema upon his departure, along with daily enemas until it ran its course. Part of the doctor's routine home care prescription was daily enemas when we were home sick. He also strongly suggested, it was a good idea for other members of the household be given daily enema as a prophylactic until the illness passed. That suggestion wasn’t missed by my grandmother, a firm believer in enemas, and something she saw too or had her younger daughters take care of during evening bath time.

@Rick6981 If everyone in the family received it, no one would get jealous lol times were really different

Honesty is the best policy? Right?

Unfortunately, not with the subject of enemas.

Especially if one admits they like them or find them sexual

I was called a creep and a perv for bringing up the subject of enema.

However, there is a work around for moat everything

I found a way to at least discuss enemas to a somewhat attentive listener. For example:

I was reading coffee enemas can be beneficial to your health. Have you ever heard of that?

I was several video's on you tube. Have you ever tried one?

I found if you give no clue to enemas being a sexual fetish, most people will at least listen.

I think the important thing to remember it's a health benefit.

Wow, this is super helpful. I’m currently trying to figure out how to tell my boyfriend that I’m into enemas sexually. Although I’m new to it, I know it’s something I want to continue doing. I’m really nervous because he’s very.. conservative.. when it comes to sex or anything related. I think it’s due to his culture, so if he’s uncomfortable, it will be very difficult to make him not. I’ve considered not telling him, but we’ll be living together in a few months, so it will be quite difficult to keep it from him.

[Or maybe I will keep it a secret until he puts a ring on it 💍 and can’t run away from me hahahaha jk]

.

@Gab wrote:

Wow, this is super helpful. I’m currently trying to figure out how to tell my boyfriend that I’m into enemas sexually. Although I’m new to it, I know it’s something I want to continue doing. I’m really nervous . . .

I would look for any opportunity or excuse to mention enemas. If he says that he is constipated, ask if he's ever had an enema to relieve his constipation, even though he most likely has not, based on what you wrote in your post. If, surprisingly, he says, "Yes," you could ask if it helped or if he liked it or if he would like one now and you would love to help him with it and it would be fun and sexy, too. If he says, "No," he hasn't had one, you could suggest that he try an enema and you would love to help him with it and it would be fun and sexy, too. Or mention that you have had enemas when you have been constipated and they work really well and you would love to help him with one and it would be fun and sexy, too. If he responds with something negative about an enema he had, you could suggest that maybe it just wasn't done right and you would love to help him with one and it would be fun and sexy, too.

If you are constipated, even just a teensy-weensy bit constipated or even if you just want to "identify" as constipated 😃 you could tell him you are a little constipated and are going to have an enema. See what his response is. Whatever he says, it provides an opportunity to discuss it now that it is out in the open. If he asks, "What's an enema?" you have the perfect chance to explain. If he asks, "Does that really help?" again, you can explain it and that it does help. If he asks, "Isn't that kind of gross?" again, you can explain it and that it's not. Regardless of how he responds, be sure to add something like, "I would love it if you would help me with my enema. It's a simple medical procedure, and there certainly are some sexy aspects to it. It would really turn me on to have you help and I think it would turn you on, too."

Good luck!

.

@Gab First, I think @Vasbyt wrote a great response. I would never thought I could get my wife into enemas but bringing it up a little at a time, here we are. She's not into it quite as much as me. Sure she enjoys giving and receiving, but if I stopped being interested, then she'd loose interest right along with me. Such it is with lots of things. Sexual or not. For instance, she likes to garden and we have two gardens we plant and harvest every year. I enjoy gardening too but if she didn't want to put in a garden, then I wouldn't be interested either. Last thought is this: Look at how many Zity members who love enemas are male vs. female. It may not be an instant transformation, but I bet the chance of success is high! Good luck and keep us posted.

Both of you, @mma and @Vasbyt, have made some good points and have definitely given me ideas of how to approach this! The advice has definitely lessened some of the worry and stress I’ve been having. I just hope I have the courage to discuss it with him when the situation arises (a small part of me thinks there’s a chance he’ll break up with me over it).

Hi Gab,

We have communicated before. I just read your reply and I don’t mean to tell you what to do in your relationship , but if I might suggest it; don’t put your relationship at risk over this subject of enemas.

Both of you, @mma and @Vasbyt, have made some good points and have definitely given me ideas of how to approach this! The advice has definitely lessened some of the worry and stress I’ve been having. I just hope I have the courage to discuss it with him when the situation arises (a small part of me thinks there’s a chance he’ll break up with me over it).

@Gab, thank you for your reply. I'm glad our contributions are helpful. I should mention that it was the bidet installed at your fiancé's house that introduced you to enemas. Don't forget to tell him ! Does he already know about them ?

Hi @Gab. Glad I could help. (Hopefully) I wouldn't worry about a chance he'll break up with you. Sure, if you laid everything out all at once it could be too much, but if you bring it up little at a time over weeks or months you'll both be fine. And be prepared if you hit a brick wall. Hopefully not and even if you do, doesn't mean not to try a couple times but if keep running into brick wall then time to stop. But hoping for your success. If you're into anal sex (or think you are) that could be another avenue. Best of luck!

@jackacorn "Then, when you are married they wake up the next morning and suddenly do not like enemas."

I have heard the most damaging thing to woman's libido is wedding cake!

When I was single I never had the guts to discuss enemas with any of my girlfriends even though I gave them to myself because i enjoyed it. I thought at the time I was the only guy who liked getting an enema. After I got married and saw the Special Preference letters in Penthouse, I decided to try to get my wife interested in enemas for play. I took the direct approach, not going for the I'm constipated, would you give me an enema? I told her I had read that some couples gave each other enemas for fun, and I wanted to try it. I bought a new combination enema bag and it took a bit of sweet-talk and one evening after a party with alcohol before she agreed to try the enema thing.

I was hoping she would enjoy it as much as I did, but not quite. She said she just couldn't get past the fear of making a mess, and the down time on the toilet after the enema. So I was back to giving them to myself again.

When I met my wife I was 30 and a seasoned enema player, she was 35 and divorced. We hit it off in the sack right away and the first time I made a play for her butt, she laughed me off saying she wasn't ready at the moment....my faithful traveling italian bag came out and introduced herself to her. We got married two years later and, of course, in the meantime I could not hide from her the fact that I loved receiving a nice enema too...and not only that.... full disclosure, always, if a partner cannot understand and accept your kinkiness, it is not the right partner....

@RedBulb99 said,

When I was single I never had the guts to discuss enemas with any of my girlfriends even though I gave them to myself because i enjoyed it. …. After I got married and saw the Special Preference letters in Penthouse, I decided to try to get my wife interested in enemas for play. I took the direct approach, not going for the I'm constipated, would you give me an enema? I told her I had read that some couples gave each other enemas for fun, and I wanted to try it. …. I was hoping she would enjoy it as much as I did, but not quite. She said she just couldn't get past the fear of making a mess, and the down time on the toilet after the enema.

I was lucky that mom, grandma, and our teenage aunts gave us enemas in private or together, depending on the circumstances. Learning at an early age, that others got enemas just like I did. Tho enemas were used primarily for health issues. They were also pleasurable. When mom or grandma gave us enemas, they were all business and didn’t fool around. However, our teenager aunts were a different story. They liked to play around when they gave us or themselves enemas at bath time, making them pleasurable but naughty at the same time. Seeing my siblings (brother and sister) being given enemas in various different positions, and they me along with our teenage aunts, who were more like siblings than aunts. Making it easier for us to interact and talk about what we liked or disliked about enemas as we got older.

To that end, as preteens, once we were responsible for ourselves in the enema department. My siblings and I started swapping enemas with each other. In the beginning they were primarily for health reasons but quickly turned into enemas for pleasure. A few years into this activity, my girlfriend asked my sister to give her a couple of enemas one afternoon, because she was having issues with period cramps. Girls being girls, they talked about various things that afternoon during the enemas. My girlfriend learned from my sister, that we'd been swapping enemas for a couple of years. And my sister learned, my girlfriend and younger sister, had been doing the same thing for over a year. A month or two later, she approached me about swapping enemas with her. Something as a fourteen-year-old, I couldn’t turn down. Starting something that lasted until we finished High School.

Fast forward a number of years, before my wife and I met got, she only used enemas for health issues. She’d never taken or been given an enema for just pleasure. It wasn’t until she and my sister shared an apartment together, that she learned the pleasurable side of enemas by pure happenstance. So, by the time we got married, she was just as much into enemas as I was. The girls having swapped enemas for most of the time they shared an apartment, plus on top of that, my sister told my girlfriend (future wife) about our enema activities as teenagers. Leading to some really good times giving each other enemas, once we got married.