Discussing hidden likes here

I am so thankful to be able to discuss my hidden love of enemas here. As a boy I quickly realized how being given enemas caused me to get incredible sensations that I would call tickle feelings as a young boy when my parents gave me enemas to help me go to the bathroom. I as I got older never let go of my enjoyment of sticking things in my butt and playing like I was having an enema. The feelings I got doing that was so incredible I became hooked on getting off this way.

I always was made to feel ashamed and embarrassed by this. My mom caught me playing with enemas a few times and made me feel disordered and dirty about this. I of course kept my enjoyment of enemas secret to everyone and felt ashamed of liking this. My friends and relatives would be going out with others and I would be alone with my enema. I could never talk to anyone about this. Friends even close friends I never dared tell them my hidden secret.

Seeing this site and others I get that there are many like myself. I always felt so alone and so ashamed of liking this. I never saw myself as gay or even straight just a guy enjoying enemas for getting off. I have had a few sexual relationships but they were nothing to me at all. It was more of just going thought the motions than anything. I would always circle back to my enemas. Always. Again felt ashamed and dirty by it. I also always felt odd and alone in this. No way anyone could ever understand me or this. Nice to chat here to others who get this like I do. Nice to know I am not alone in my enjoyment of enemas and butt play.

I went through much the same except I wasn’t given enemas except once when I was 2-3 years old. I gained an attraction to enemas around 12. I relate how in my blog. I was never caught, the thought totally scared me. How embarrassing it would be. I kept my like for enemas a secret. Only three women know. A former wife, and two different mistresses I visited.

I find that by being enemas as a child I became anal erotic. I have give anal sex to my girl friend who enjoyed it after giving her an orgasm vaginally. I then felt the urge later in years to know how it felt to be given anal sex by a man. It was a good feeling to feel penetrated by his penis. I don’t think I am bisexual to like anal sex from a man as there is no attraction whereas I love to focus on a woman’s bottom fantasying me giving her anal sex.

I agree with Eforenema1 that it is a comfort to have this site. In addition to the benefits he mentions for myself I've also found it opening my mind to things which I'd likely have been closed to were it not for Zity. Many things I find personally a turn off not a turn on, but I am not so judgemental. I'm more live-let-live and tolerant. After all these are consenting adults and if it rings their bells who am I to say those bells are a sour note? I don't think I was ever intolerant, but I'm certainly more easy going and I thank the Zity community for that.

My ex-wife, married 2005-2010, and I are both sexual Switches, enjoying both D/s roles with each other at different times, especially regarding enemas. We had extensive, lengthy talks by IM for weeks, then months, before wedding and she knew ALL my fetishes and was happy to take them and me on and enjoy them together. Starting a few months before marriage on a long stay at my home we started having vanilla then later very kinky sex, especially because she discovered she loved putting me through all 6 of my kinks together on a given evening as my Domme, especially multiple large, long enemas. We loved it together. Memory, which for me has been frankly atrocious all my life and no better now at age 70, is vague, but I may have given her an enema or two, but not many at all. She loved filling me and making me as vocal, embarrassed and humiliated as she could, being her sub for the evening, which we both loved.

A few months after marriage and many enemas she pumped into and out of me, one day out of the blue, unsolicited, she revealed she deeply wanted

a) to frequently be sexually submissive to me, and

b) even more importantly to her, for me to give her sexual enemas as her Dom.

Of course I was delighted and started giving them to her right away with great success. The kicker or maybe cherry on top was that this was her most secret, carefully guarded sexual desire for most of her life. She'd never revealed this to anyone before, especially her late first husband, who had spent his life’s work a minister in one of the major Protestant religions. She felt, perhaps understandably, that she could never reveal this sexual secret to him, and never did, waiting hopefully for a new lover or husband (me, in this case) who would accept her with this crucial kinky sexual secret in the open.

We eventually divorced for unrelated reasons after 5 years, but both immensely enjoyed our ability to satisfy the other’s sexual needs, especially the kinky ones. I‘m truly sorry we had to divorce, but I’ll always remember and be very grateful for those many wonderful intense sexual evenings satisfying each other’s vanilla and kinky sexuality.

TLDR: Here’s to being brave and comfortable enough with your partner to reveal important secrets.

Eric

@Eforenema1 I'm sure your Mother thought she was correct in shaming you for playing with and liking enemas and generally making you feel “disordered and dirty” but that was WRONG!!! You had normal sexual feelings from an enema! I hope you have long gotten over the shame. No parent should ever do that.

I agree it was wrong and it did have an impact in my life. I have worked through it. The guilt at times returns. I understand it is not bad to get myself off to an enema. I felt so alone for years. I now understand many are like me.

Remember first getting enemas from Mom around 5 or 6 and over her lap with the red bulb. As a kid getting my bottom filled until near bursting, made me cry, squirm, and fuss, which a few swats on my bottom stopped. Still remember getting off her lap to expel with me having a tiny erection. At that time I couldn't put the 2 and 2 together as to why.

About 8 I got my fist bag enema hanging from a towel bar, but in the same position. The nozzle didn't feel different, but the flow hitting my prostate did, as I had a huge erection after. Even after getting off of Mom's lap with a big erection, she didn't say a word, as I had to point it down into the bowl to release. Even after she “ thought ” I needed another.

Around 10 Mom graduated me to the douche nozzle and the knee chest position. Always naked in front of her, but being bent over to show my open butt to her as she sat on the closed toilet seat. By this age I had hair sprouting, embarrassed, and quietly excited as I saw this new nozzle waiting for me, as I knew I enjoyed my enemas.

Mom lubed my ass crack before slipping her finger inside. Next came the delicious larger nozzle that I later loved. I never got such a big enema like this, and got the cramps. Mom shut off the flow and told me to rub my belly for a little while. I did, but started to rub / pull on my erection when I felt something oozing out of my pee hole. It was pre-cum that I never knew about, let alone cum later to find out while “ playing enema ” and masturbation with a neighborhood boy later.

After a time Mom opened the clamp again, sending the rest of douche water nozzle up inside. I'm not sure or on purpose, Mom worked that nozzle in and around my ass until I heard the bag gurgle empty. With a pat on my ass and the nozzle being removed, I stood up with the biggest hard-on ever, and all in front of her.

By then, I learned that I liked enemas. So did Mom giving me them. About High School age it abruptly stopped with no reason. Maybe my age.

When I was I was in the hospital for a week and had my temperature taken rectally 3 times a day I remember after that anytime I had to have my temperature taken or it was mentioned I got a feeling of nervous excitement.

Similar to Bucket at first in the hospital I dreaded the pre surgery enemas and rectal temps as a child but then something changed as I got older and I started to look forward to my rectal temp especially when I was hospitalized as an adolescent I found it arousing.

As a kid I hated enemas, as I only got ones from a bulb. When I got older, Mom used the 2 quart bag. Over the lap but one insertion and really filled my bottom.

I don’t think I ever disliked the enemas I got from mom, but I thought I was weird for liking them since those of my friends and cousins who admitted to receiving enemas all said they hated them. By time I was twelve my mom knew I was giving myself enemas but we never discussed my feelings about them although looking back I now suspect she knew I was doing it for more than just healthful reasons.

I suspected some people who said they hated enemas secretly liked them, but it wasn’t until the internet that I realized there were quite a few of us who took or gave enemas for fun. I realize what we like will never be accepted as “normal” by the general public but at least I am not alone anymore, thanks to places like this.