Sex “accidents” - funny, embarrassing, cautionary?

Have you had a memorable accident having sex or engaged in sexual activity?

Have you had a memorable accident having sex or engaged in sexual activity?

I'm guessing you probably aren't talking about my 3 kids….

I'm guessing you probably aren't talking about my 3 kids….

Thread done we have a winner haha.

Before my second wife and I were married we were making out in her parents basement when they came home unexpectedly. We both rushed to get our clothes on and bending down to get them we banged heads, nearly knocking each other out. I think her parents were a bit suspicious as we were both killing ourselves laughing.

Another time with the same woman, we were screwing on a mattress in one of the bedrooms in a house I had just bought and was moving in. There was a knock at the door and my sister calling out, “Hello”

Once again we were scrambling to get dressed, which we managed to do. The only problem was my jeans were quite a bit shorter than hers and it was fairly obvious we had put each other's on in our rush. 😃

My sister had a good chuckle.

We had the homemade inflatable nozzle balloon blow up part way through sex once. My sub clenched his cheeks tightly, pulled out, and trotted off to the potty to not make too big of a mess. The sheets did need to be changed from some leakage, but it could have been much worse.

I don't remember if activities resumed afterwards or not. Accidents can be a mood killer.

I'm guessing you probably aren't talking about my 3 kids….

Yup! My first reaction was going to be to say ‘my oldest kid’. I broke a bed once. Granted it was an old bed but we were going at it super hard and one of the slats broke.

We fell off the bed once - invented the “floor finish”!!

I can relate to that @Nurse_Phillips I was doing a scene with two women in a hotel room when the bed collapsed. Definitely a mood killer, but it did give us a laugh.

We managed to put the bed back together as best we could. Never heard about it on subsequent visits. Probably collapsed with someone else and they fixed it. 😃

Once while getting ready to go out, my wife and I started fooling around in the bathroom. She decided she would bend over the side of the bathtub for me to enter her from behind. She was leaning over the tub, bracing with one hand, reaching back between her legs with the other, to guide my hard cock to her warm, wet, secret place. As I was reaching down with both hands turned inward pulling her open, and advancing my cock towards her pussy, she lost her balance and crashed headfirst into the tub. The moment was spoiled, but we were laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, she had an abrasion and several conspicuous bruises. What she was most concerned about was that, if anyone asked about the injuries, I would tell this story.

Um, had the accelerator linkage come off the carburetor whist driving late at night in southern New Mexico during a blow job. First and last time attempted oral sex while driving. Spent the night at a roadside motel and had the car repaired by a muttering mechanic cursing foreign made cars. His quick repairs stayed on the engine until I traded it in years later.

I got lucky the weekend I lost my virginity by ejaculating in my pants when my girlfriend got amorous. Having spent we couldn’t have sex right then then her parents showed up unexpectedly.

Many years ago (the 60's) my first wife and I had finally gotten into our first apartment. As newlyweds, were enjoying our sexual freedom by having long sessions of sex in our own bed. We would only engage in straight sex in the missionary position. Her idea, not mine. So after some time, I had just gotten her to raise he legs up in the air. Our passion was peaking and we were both near cumming when I backed out a little too far and on the next lunge into her hot wet hole, instead I went in to the hilt into her beautiful bum hole. She let out a scream that the neighbor next to us heard and that old lady called the police. I opened the door less than 5 minutes later to face two cops who wanted to know if I was beating my wife. She had to come out of the bedroom in her robe and assure them that she was ok. I never saw her face so red ever again. The love making got better and less noisy.

Long ago I was with a girl who only wanted anal sex, so I happily obliged. I was sort of face to face with her legs up over my shoulders and I entered her and she said that's not my asshole. I'd managed the wrong hole !

While in college I met a man who was 15 years my senior, he taught me the art of doing stain glass, cooking with cast iron, needless to say we had a April to September romance. He like all men had a fantasy and that was a prostate massage, well there was no internet so I found a book, read how to do it OK. I bent him over, put on a rubber glove and greased him up, went in, then up and there it was. Instead of gentle as I was supposed to do, I hit it with gusto and did he ever take off trying to climb the ceiling fan. Not good, but I got better and he did enjoy my efforts.

Another of my brief conquests wore wild boxers which had Superman, Batman, Smilies, Clovers, well you get the drift. One night he had on his Batman boxers and I began doing the Batman theme song. Batman, Batman do do do do do Batman. Just about that time, he took a wild leap and came into the bed head first, the bed broke down, he went into the nightstand and turned the lamp over. We spend most of the night fixing the damage but had a good laugh.

We had only been married a couple of years when my husband and I went to Jekyll Island, Georgia. The very south end of the island is rather desolate, well we were down there one night. He began to undress me, then he stripped down, put his shirt under us and we went at it. A very short time later, I began feeling something on my hiney and back which began to make my very uncomfortable. And it got worse as I told him to let me up. We have gotten near a bed of ants which ate us both up, ended up leaving his shirt.

And you thought a grain of sand up the twootie was bad, try ants eating at your ass.

A couple years into our marriage we were doing what young newlyweds do…having sex…when my sub's father was heard yelling in our back door. (Subs family didn't knock they just came in.). We quickly shut up and we're very quiet until we heard his truck leave.

Boy did we have a laugh. Thankfully our bedroom was the farthest room from the door. He knew nothing of what we were up to. Which we continued with shortly after.

Long ago i was with a girl who only wanted anal sex, so i happily obliged, was sort of face to face with her legs up over my shoulders, i entered her and she said thats not my ass hole, id managed the wrong hole !

Ah, not too worry, it was small target, so it could be missed quite easily.

Me on the other hand managed to insert my hard penis into her anus in missionary position by mistake, to which she replied by screaming.

A couple years into our marriage we were doing what young newlyweds do…having sex…when my sub's father was heard yelling in our back door. (Subs family didn't knock they just came in.). We quickly shut up and we're very quiet until we heard his truck leave.

Boy did we have a laugh. Thankfully our bedroom was the farthest room from the door. He knew nothing of what we were up to. Which we continued with shortly after.

Or he went away with fond memories rejuvenated.

Another memorable time was when I was dating a young girl who was still living at home. We were both in our teens and very horny all the time.

I had taken her home and we were getting into some heavy petting on her back porch. I must have hit the spot as she suddenly shuddered and straightened up, hitting her head on a shelf and knocking a couple of flower pots off. Her mother came to the door(luckily didn't open it) and called out “Is that you M…..?”

My girlfriend quickly replied and thank goodness her mother never came out.

I often wonder if she ever told her mother later what happened. I learned a few years later that she used to tell her mother everything. Made sense why she used to give me funny looks sometimes. Her daughter was a virgin when I first met her.

Or he went away with fond memories rejuvenated.

@roscoe he knew nothing of what we were doing. Otherwise he'd have given us an ear full. That was the type of person he was.

We fell off the bed once - invented the “floor finish”!!

@gwhap .. did you buff it out? 😈😉

@gwhap .. did you buff it out? 😈😉

He swept her away

All that I can think of is having condom slip off of my penis deep in her vagina. We spent what seemed like an hour in various different positions trying to retrieve it. We finally got it out without medical intervention! We still laugh about that 25+ years later. I guess if that is the only “accident” we have had, we have had a fairly boring sex life?

While having missionary PIV sex with my college gf, the girl tried to be funny. She looked up at me and randomly baaa'd like a lamb, then broke down laughing. I lost my erection and neither of us climaxed

While having missionary PIV sex with my college gf, the girl tried to be funny. She looked up at me and randomly baaa'd like a lamb, then broke down laughing. I lost my erection and neither of us climaxed

Good one. I bet a lot of sheep herders would have got off on that! 😀😀😀

When we started dating, it was a long distance relationship. Sometimes, each of us would drive half way and spend the weekend in a motel. A couple of times it was in a less than first class establishment. Once with a touchy lock on the door.

On her back, legs in the air and I was having my way with her. We heard the door knob jiggle and then open wide. It was a perfect view from the door to catch me on the up stroke. “Close that door, man!”, I demanded. “I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room. The door was unlocked…etc.”, he continued but in no hurry to leave. I was still inside her and told him to "GO!". “Sorry. Good night.” the door slowly closed and he finally left.

She looked at me and broke out laughing and I followed. I lost my erection and sipped out. It was time for a break. We still laugh about it 25 years later.

A former girlfriend was on top and got a bit too rambunctious and I had my legs together and she came down hard with all her weight primarily on my left testicle and it immediately started to swell. I tried to put ice on it but it got so painful she had to take me to the ER and she told the staff exactly what happened. It was the first time I had a testicular ultrasound and then they admitted me overnight For observation. She was terribly upset

A former girlfriend was on top and got a bit too rambunctious and I had my legs together and she came down hard with all her weight primarily on my left testicle and it immediately started to swell. I tried to put ice on it but it got so painful she had to take me to the ER and she told the staff exactly what happened. It was the first time I had a testicular ultrasound and then they admitted me overnight For observation. She was terribly upsetthat

Thats good sex

Back in 1973, my first girlfriend wanted sex any where and as often as possible, so on the way home late one night we stopped at Myuna Bay, Lake Macquarie. We got out and after removing her dress, bra and panties, and my pants and undies, we got in the back seat, where she was sitting on top going for it. We were looking out the side window at the moon on the lake when a couple of faces appeared. Looking around there were more faces at the other windows. Some young teenage boys and girls from a nearby recreation camp got to see some action. She slid off and lay on the seat and I climbed over the front seat and drove towards home shaking. We stopped closer to her home where we got out and dressed and then continued home. We never got to get the happy ending that night. We had a lot of laughs, and well and truly made up for it over the rest of the weekend. This night is still clear in my mind, and brings back great memories of her.

There was three of us guys in sissy clothes when his wife came home.

And it was a month or two of major shock but then she .ook control.

She realized that oh well I'm not interested in having sex with you anyway so since I'm in charge we might as well enjoy it

You guys want to be sissies do you.