ABDL's and parenthood... Can they coexist?

I have been a member of the ABDL community for a long time now. I sometimes think I've read more and researched more about infantilism and diaper fetishes than most people have read newspapers. I've asked hundreds of questions, and answered as many. I've searched far and wide, but these questions elude me.

ABDL's. Parenthood. Can the two existences peacefully coexist? Does being an ABDL cause harm to the child? Could you stop wearing diapers if you had a child? Would you feel uncomfortable wearing diapers around your child? How would your spouse feel? Do you think you would be putting your child at a disadvantage when potty-training time comes along? What if your child told their friends, or yours? Could your family survive is this happened?

I'm earnestly seeking honest answers from those who can answer some or all of these questions from experience. I'm at a point in my life that I wonder what will become of my relationship with my future wife when we do have a child.

No BS answers or fantasty stories, please. Honest help appreciated and willingly accepted.

I think that you might be over analyzing this a bit. I am a father of 3 and a DL. My wife accepts my disposable diapers everywhere but in our bed. It is her boundary and I respect it. Additionally, I do not use my diaper, I just enjoy the feel, sound and look. Having these boundaries is important in keeping diapers from over-taking our home and relationship. I love my wife and appreciate her more than words can express. She does not participate with me, just accepts; and I am ok with that. I am in my mid 30s and we have been married for over 10 years. Getting to this point has been difficult, but I feel like we finally reached a a comfortable understanding we both can live with, and enjoy each other and our lives. I do not have any problems around my children and my diapers. Children have nothing to do with my underwear any more than they would if I chose to wear boxers or tighty whiteys. I will do everything in my power to prevent my children from ever finding out. I am not proud of this part of me, it is there and I live with it.

Ultimately you must gauge yourself. My DL side is in check with the boundaries discussed above, where do your boundaries lie? As you mature in age, life takes on new perspective. Learning to live for someone elses needs instead of your own is the key. The world does not revolve around us. Cheesey movie lines are over used, but one I think is relative to us everyday keeps me focused: "Sometimes I do what I want to do; the rest of the time I do what I have to." The answer to your questions are in your heart. Children require sacrifices, lots of them, what are you willing to do or not do for them? The answer for me is simple. I will do what ever it takes to keep my children safe and happy; helping them learn and grow to be productive members of society. I wouldn't wish this DL thing on my worst enemy and wouldn't dare jeopardize their safety or emotional well being by making my diapers a part of their innocent lives. I think my wife understands this which is why we have met on common ground and live happily together. Marriage also requires sacrifice not just about diapers but in all things. Keep your focus, if diapers rule your world and you cannot establish boundaries, you might want to think long an hard about starting a family. As a man, you must be a MAN, and care for your wife and familiy's needs above your own.

Sorry to get up on my soap box, I am not preaching, just offering the honest help you asked for. This is the world from where I sit. What is your perspective?

Thank you very much for your heartfelt reply. After the day I just had (FULL MOON HELL) those words helped calm my fears about a future that is still many years away.

I agree wholeheartedly that establishing boundaries is key in developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. My fiancee is very understanding about my diapers. As we currently live apart, diapers in the bed is not really an issue, though the few times we have laid together and I was diapered, she did not mind. At least, if she did, she didn't mention it.

I do enjoy being diapered around her, and cuddling up with my head on her chest when the feelings of the world overwhelm me. At the same time, however, I would not hesitate to defend her from anything this world would dare throw at us. I love to be a diaper wearing little boy when appropriate, but I also recognize that there are times when being a grown man are much more important.

Moderation in all things is key.

I have been in diapers by choice since my earliest memories. I met and married my wife 27 years ago. I made the choice to tell her about the issue prior to marrage to give her the choice to leave me or accept me as I was. Obviously she chose to stay. We have two children, a son 24 and a daughter 21. I elected to tell my wife pretty much everything about my needs, diapers, wetting, pooping, bottles all of it so there no real secrets about my need. I told her that this was my issue and that when we did have children I would never let them know about it. During the time that my children were in diapers interestingly enough, my need was almost completely gone. I rarely thought about diapers and never once looked at one of their diapers and wanted to put it on. I also never felt "jealous" about the diaper attention they were getting from everyone. This was my single biggest fear, that I would be really envious of them, didn't happen. So for me the two, AB/DL and parenting were never an issue. I think the key is that your mate must see that this is a personal issue not one that goes any further or affects who you are and the way you deal with life. My need to be diapered goes no further than my wife and I.

A suggestion. Tell your wife that you are going to seek help through therapy with the issue. See out someone that deals with "sexual" issues. It won't be easy going a telling a complete stranger about this but it allows the topic to be discussed in your home with your wife. I did after 10 years of marriage and it opened the door for my wife and I to really discuss it for the first time. She had accepted me but really didn't understand how deep the need was. I suspect that even though you and your wife accept the need, you are not completely satisfied with the arrangement. I can tell by the way you used the term "boundaries" that it is a wall rather than a bridge to a nurturing and accepting full relationship between the two of you. As you and your wife grow in your relationship and your partnership matures sex becomes less and less of what keeps you together. What keeps you together is the knowledge that you and she are close, intimate friends that can openly discuss and accept anything about one another. My wife accepts my diapers because she knows it makes me happy. Add if I'm happy, I make a better husband and father. I also accept her in the same fashion, it she is happy, she will make a better wife and mother. This seems to have worked very well in our marriage and with our children. One has graduated from college and is fully on his own now and the other is getting ready to graduate this year. Both still enjoy being with the parents and see us as loving and accepting, two attributes that are critical in raising children. If I can offer any advice, feel free to reach out to me as I believe I understand where you are coming from and how important of an issue this is.

Thank you Baby Michael. I appreciate your input. I'll be sure to take you up on that offer of future advise.

I am a parent to a lovely baby girl, and I have been a diaper lover for over 15yrs. I have had times when I wish I could wear and use diapers 24/7 but when I am around her that side of me takes a back set. Can they coexist...yes.

Anyone that can not separate the 2 should not have kids, let adult things be just that...for adults.

I have been giving this a serious amount of thought recently getting closer every day to the big 30. I would never intentionally expose a child to this fetish as much as it is a part of me I know I would have to cut my own throat first. Its funny this topic comes up now I had a nightmare about this scenario just a few months ago

You know how shit happens in dreams and you are just aware of certain facts for some reason in the dream I am the father normal family wife, daughter son and everything is going great until I come home from work one day and find the son in a diaper. I ask him how this could possibly have happened to which he replies I learned by watching you it was the ultimate resolution that disturbed me the most I beat the boy to death with a tire iron.

I'm going through something of a rough patch and I think that I am finally starting to reconcile the difference between real life and fantasy. As a fantasy this fetish works great but I think where I can get tripped up is when I try to put my desires into practice. Sometimes I feel that if maybe all of us could have expressed a desire to act out the fetish to our parents at a young age and gotten it the hell out of our system we would have all been much better off in the long run.

To close as it is late its a part of me now I think hardwired I've walked away from this for 4 or 5 years at a time but I always come....excuse me for the bad pun crawling back.