@Night_Pilot
I was unaware of the great discussions going on here. Clearly it's incumbent upon me to read more!
@night_Pilot said:
…As on another post, Beth Anne explained or posited her “hyper sexuality” episodes and the depression that follows once she has satisfied that urge or need in her. …
I haven't read much here, and could not find the specific post in question. This seems to be pretty clearly what used to be called subdrop, but since left side of the slash people (D/s S/m M/s) started owning up to drop it's lost the name subdrop in some places, although it's often on line as subdrop should you google it.
When one plays hard physically, especially when pain is involved, like impact (the nice name given to hitting people with or without implements) the body releases hormones, chemicals, drugs however the actual science goes that help deal with the pain and either fight the source of the pain or run from the source of the pain.
FWIW strong emotions, and bondage are also said to cause drop.
Sensation causes the production of the substances, so when sensation stops, when the scene ends the substances are no longer released. Drop is the body going through withdrawal.
Who gets drop? It depends upon the partner, the role, the scene, the day, the food you ate everything. Both left side (top, dom, et al) and right side (sub, bottom, et al) folks can drop. Both sides can need aftercare.
Aftercare should be part of the pre scene negotiation. Yeah, you should discuss what's going to happen before it happens and both partners should, MUST agree or the play is non consensual. Consent means enthusiastic approval not 'well, i guess.'
How do you prevent drop? IDK if prevention is possible, and some people don't get drop, but aftercare is the key: Aftercare is much more then the BDSM version of pillow talk.
I tried to write a guide, but I decided to provide links instead why reinvent the wheel?
https://www.submissiveguide.com/safety,%20personalgrowth,%20fundamentals/series/series-aftercare
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a30443633/aftercare-bdsm/
https://www.wellandgood.com/aftercare-after-sex/
TL😄R:
You really should read but water, communication from sweet nothings to a full discussion of the scene, cuddling, helping each other wash, perhaps shower together, and follow up calls from the top to the bottom after a day and a week.
From @Night_Pilot:
I wrote this to explain and perhaps apologize to my wife for the severe pain I inflicted upon her last night when I returned home.
Was the pain consensual? You did negotiate the scene before or have experience in doing similar scenes together? You did't even discuss? See what you got yourself into? BTW you are a non consensual player.
From @Night_Pilot:
So last night when I got home I found her in a very heightened state of arousal and got caught up in it. This was not to her benefit nor to my credit or testament to my, basically, knowing what I was doing. I did not. As a result I inflicted some amount of soft tissue injury and deep bruising to my wife's body and her tender breasts and nipples. I won't give you the excuse that her urging me on and showing signs of sexual satisfaction on her part made me feel that she could “take it.” As far into that scene that we got last night, I don't believe it was appropriate or safe for her to make that call.
Some things to break down here:
Partner was excited, top caught the fever.
Played beyond tops limits, Bottom wrote that it was fine for her - BUT those decisions should be made during pre scene negotiation not during play.
Frenzy can strike left or right side folks. Obviously the right side folks are in more danger.
https://limitsunleashed.com/2015/02/13/domsub-frenzy/
https://www.submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/sub-frenzy
https://www.submissiveguide.com/fundamentals/articles/how-to-safely-manage-sub-frenzy
And a little something extra for tops
https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2015/07/when-sadists-go-wild-berserking-and-a-different-kind-of-top-frenzy/
You, @Night_Pilot fucked up. You are the top you are responsible if it's some drunk stranger you picked up in a bar 50 miles from Tucumcari NM. You're responsible if it's your wife. You feel awful.
Well so don't do it again. You are a left guy and from her writing your wife isn't. In scene we are all responsible for ourselves, but the folks on the left run the scene and hold ultimate authority just like the folks in the left seat. Except when the right sider safe words!
Don't think you are alone @Night_Pilot?
Around 1990 a 30 ish Steve had a naked woman on his knee. Guess what? Any naked woman on your knee is a good thing! One you have brought to a nice simmer of sexual excitement while getting off on your own fetishes and kinks is especially nice. I have no recollection of the events around this event but at that time I had a standard procedure. I'd start with the woman naked over my knee because humiliation wasn't the aim. A bulb type rectal thermometer was introduced into the woman's rectum. Obs some here are yum some are yawn. I was and remain YUM!
The glass rod was smoothly slowly pressed in as far as it would go and released. The body would push it out. I would press on the tip and keep it from being ejected. Lather rinse repeat. Hypnotic. Lovely. Nice sounds from the area of my feet. the ass would be coveted with goose bumps. 3 or so inches of a very thin rod had lovely things happening. Occasionally I would twirl the rod in the bottom. YUMMY!
Sooner or later I would ‘notice’ abnormal heat from the vaginal area! Ethical medical practice required that this condition be investigated. Happily I had some gloves and an oral thermometer handy. While the rectal was held in with one hand I would slid the vaginal thermometer in. For some reason, unlike the rectal the vaginal never needed any lube whatsoever.
Somehow every time, EVERY TIME the vagina was about ½ degree warmer, hotter then the rectum. This is a authentic medical procedure not some tawdry kinky practice. Such inappropriate excitement must be imitatively treated with effective measures. A spanking and frequently an enema to follow (I have been on Zity for a long time and there was another system before this one - it's been way longer then whatever the system says).
The naked, excited red bottomed woman was over my knees, and I'm filled with happiness and peace. This is so great were my thoughts - not too red she can take quite a bit more.
NOPE, from off in the distance I hear please please stop stop stop stop. She had safe worded a while before and I did not hear it since I was somewhere else.
I stopped and was aware of what I had done. I looked at the upset woman and said I'm sorry, I went somewhere and I didn't hear you. That never happened to me before. I'm so sorry.
At that time it was strongly stressed in the community that a good dom never needed to apologize. I had no option but to admit I was less then a good dom.
I looked at her. What was she going to do? Call the cops? Get me black listed? Tell the truth to anyone?
She laughed at me and said well now you know first hand why I let you guys do this to me!
She wanted to continue play!
I got off so easy, but since that day I never let my attention wane, I will never, I have never I will not suffer that humiliation and shame and endanger another person who is trusting me with hr life.
@Night_Pilot, everyone else reading this - it happens, and if we did not intend it it's no excuse. As a top as a left person it's our job our responsibility to safely run the scene.
FWIW an ass will take an incredible beating. Thighs will take a lot, nipples are tough too. Your wife will 100% recover. A bruised butt I caused is one of the sexiest things on earth. A bruised butt transmits delightful sensations when the bruises are gently squeezed. A bruised butt is a sensitive butt. A right sider might love such an experience. We gotta ask first and @Night_Pilot is it fair to deprive a partner we really love from a great experience because we fucked up once?
Education, negotiation, consent, aftercare. The formula to two really happy fulfilled people.