Loss of fetish amidst current events?

I am a LONG time medical fetishist (since 11 and I’m now 24), but recent events have turned me off to it. I feel guilty for being turned on by medical settings when all of this horror is going on. Does anyone else feel the same way? Hopefully you won’t judge me and of course I won’t judge you, but I just wanted to hear if anyone else has lost the fetish recently and if it may have to do with current events.

I realize that my fantasies will have no impact on anyone or the actual NHS but it still just feels icky (mature word, I know) for me. Would love to hear other thoughts on the subject

The COVID-19 virus has had no effect on my fetishes or desires to perform them.

I still have the desire--and I can do them with my husband but I have to refrain from any BDSM parties and meeting with any other people. What is happening in the world is frightening and puts a tremendous damper on what we can safely do. That has nothing to do with desire, it has to do with protecting yourself. You wouldn't have intercourse with your partner if they had a herpes outbreak would you? It's the same here. Exercising restraint in your activities has to do with protecting yourself, not denying your proclivities or fetishes.

Relax, take a breather, your desires will return when the activities you enjoy become safe again.

This is a highly challenging time for many of us. Feeling anxious is the norm for most. So I don't think that it's odd for you to have mixed emotions right now. Yet, like Switchable has said, desire can be satisfied in totally safe ways. It's one thing that you can do to maintain some sense of control and have freedom to enjoy pleasure. Be safe is just that. So I hope you're able to regain some balance. I think the other thing we do is to remain generous and support those fighting the fight against this terrible illness. Don't isolate. Video chat is a wonderful means to connect as well as play.

Be well. Thanks for asking such a thoughtful question.

As someone that has had a medical fetish for a long time, I can relate to your anxiety @GirlInHeat. Events like this make us all pull back and be more circumspect about our activities. As a healthcare professional, I have always been very cognizant of “safe play”, and all of the horrible things that can be transmitted through unsafe behavior as well as knowing to play carefully as to not get hurt. The good news is that while we are all in a “pause” on social interaction, many of us find comfort an safety playing and chatting/posting here on Zity. For many of us, this is a “comfort zone” and one of the ways we stay mentally fit during “social distancing”. I even thought about if there is a kink in this for me, of surgical masks, rubber gloves and hand sanitizer. In my case, I think of those were a thing, I would have added them years ago ?.

Back to your initial point @GirlInHeat, I have always separated, real life and work settings from my fantasy/fetish world. What I see, and who I interact with in a medical setting never overlaps with my fetish/play. Most of us keep the two worlds apart.

The events of the day are horrible and certainly make us take a pause, especially because we are scared and anxious. It is completely normal to feel this way right now. Just know that you have many “like minded folks” here who share your interests and can help you to sort out your anxieties and fears....

And most importantly, everyone remember to wash your hands, often....

Thoughtful post, GirlInHeat. It's one that probably has already crossed the conscience of many of us, and is surely a valid and reasonable response to the 'bigger picture' which is currently out there and endangering us all.

What you ask is a common phenomenon in a way. Libido ebbs and flows (in some people more than others, admittedly!), and is often dependent on 'mood', including one's own and even that of the zeitgeist (of the wider society). That's only natural. My feeling is that one should face reality, but in the full sense, including one's own reality ('This is how things are, including my own particular needs and desires at a given time!').

- Ken

In some ways it's a type of admiration and respect for healthcare workers, they might even be a little be honored or tempted to explore your view of things. They deserve a little relaxing fun time for sure !

I still have the desire--and I can do them with my husband but I have to refrain from any BDSM parties and meeting with any other people.

I've heard from several people that want you to put together a zoom meeting for BDSM and to have your husband there with a cane. Who says you can't do BDSM

It hasn't changed my interest at all and I feel no guilt over it. Why should I?

@GirlInHeat We all need to take care of ourselves and pursuing these activities, sexual, fetishes, so on, are part of that. Don't feel guilty, let yourself feel good when you can. We all spend too much of our day worrying as it is so take a break. Enjoy it!

I am a LONG time medical fetishist (since 11 and I’m now 24), but recent events have turned me off to it. I feel guilty for being turned on by medical settings when all of this horror is going on. Does anyone else feel the same way? Hopefully you won’t judge me and of course I won’t judge you, but I just wanted to hear if anyone else has lost the fetish recently and if it may have to do with current events.

i am a critical care nurse and today is my first day off my one week rotation-spent on the Covid-19 unit. There's this cute guy who works in housekeeping who has been flirting with me and i'm dying to pin him to a wall and kiss him, sigh. i can imagine all sorts of medfet stuff i'd love to do right now, particularly since i am single and live alone. i've been in isolation since the first week of March and work is my only socialization, i am hornier than even normal.

Trying to supplement with online connections and share fantasies, but not a lot of people seem to deeply into that... or like to read mine more than write their own. i get it, i'd rather have the real thing, but know better. Meanwhile? no guilt or loss of desire here, if anything my desires and needs have ramped up, i am one horny slut right now. ;-)

Hi tallslenderguy (post #10 )! I'm slightly puzzled/disappointed. Your post starts with a quote from an earlier post which is almost a cry for help - yet your own post (following the quote) seems not to engage one jot with that 'cry for help'! Instead, you complain that you're feeling particularly randy at this time of self-isolation. You really have shut down! That's not healthy! (Sorry to moralise!)

We must all view our kinks, etc., within the big picture. 😄

- Ken

Hi tallslenderguy (post #10 )! I'm slightly puzzled/disappointed. Your post starts with a quote from an earlier post which is almost a cry for help - yet your own post (following the quote) seems not to engage one jot with that 'cry for help'! Instead, you complain that you're feeling particularly randy at this time of self-isolation. You really have shut down! That's not healthy! (Sorry to moralise!)

We must all view our kinks, etc., within the big picture. 😄

- Ken

You won't have to apologize for moralizing if you don't do it in the first place.

Guilt is not needed. We can all enjoy what we can enjoy. It's not wrong or weird.

I think I can understand that when the subject of fetishism is connected to a negative association - like now, when it's connected to a more serious side of life in reality - it gets harder for the brain to connect it to sexuality/playfulness. One might start to suppress it or lock it off completely (out of concern of other people's opinions (am I weird/unrespectful for liking this?), or just in order to be able to grasp the situation for yourself), and that's natural too. Part of sex positivity is acknowledging the occasional period of non-sexuality too.

I hope you can still find ways to enjoy yourself and have fun.

Sorry, tallslenderguy (post #12). Didn't mean to hurt you. In the spirit of this thread - and because l really was puzzled at the disconnect between the quote you used and your own words - l felt impelled to say what l did. (By 'spirit of ...' l mean the underlying serious point of the original post.).

I still remember the wonderful post that you put up here on Zity that began our Friendship ...

- Ken

Fetish activity which does not harm anyone or affect anyone except yourself should never be linked to guilt. Giving in to feelings of guilt only makes a person vulnerable to exploitation by any number of hucksters and preachers of belief systems of any kind.

That said, in abnormal circumstances, a loss of libido in general, of sexual desire of any kind, is certainly normal. People now feel insecure and confused about the future and that alone is enough to dampen sexual desires, 'normal' or fetishistic.

I'd advise to just ride things out, and wait for external circumstances to change back to a semblance of normal again, even though it might take a while for that to happen. Just don't start throwing paraphernalia away or other guilt-trip associated things. You'll regret it later.

For what it's worth, the first week or two of the lock-down racketed my libido way way up. But then, from boredom and inactivity and the incessant pessimistic news that is all there seems to be, mine took a nose dive, normal libido or otherwise. But I've been through this before and now know enough to just ride it out. It will pass.

And never pass up opportunities to discuss this on the forum. It should help. There are certainly others who have experienced the same as you.

I haven’t lost my medical fetish at all. My medfet is physical exams of myself and of women, especially gyn exams and rectal exams. Hospital settings do nothing for me anyway, only typical exam rooms and standard exam tables or gyn tables/chairs found in doctor’s offices.

People with a mask fetish must really be going crazy whenever they go out in public right now!

Sorry, tallslenderguy (post #12). Didn't mean to hurt you. In the spirit of this thread - and because l really was puzzled at the disconnect between the quote you used and your own words - l felt impelled to say what l did. (By 'spirit of ...' l mean the underlying serious point of the original post.).

I still remember the wonderful post that you put up here on Zity that began our Friendship ...

- Ken

Ah Ken (heart)

Believe it or not, i edited my initial (#12) reply several times removing most of the snarky retorts, narrowing it down to just one lol.

"Puzzled" is one thing, "disappointment" another. Puzzlement (on your part) leaves room for query, "disappointment" sort of contradicts puzzlement as it seems conclusive vs inquiring. And you seemed to seal your conclusion by arriving at me "really" having "shut down" and being "not healthy." "Hurt?" Well, maybe not that powerful, more stung. i've lived an eventful life and developed some muscle, i do not sustain damage easily.

i would posit that inquiry is the better path to take (imo, always)with a person you only know in passing vs sudden, sweeping judgement and conclusion.

i did not read the OP's post as anything close to a "cry for help." If i had, i would not have tried to put humor into my response. lnstead, i perceived a person who is experiencing a hiatus of a specific form of expression of their sexuality. She asked: "Does anyone else feel the same way? Hopefully you won’t judge me and of course I won’t judge you, but I just wanted to hear if anyone else has lost the fetish recently and if it may have to do with current events." i responded openly and honestly, and with an attempt at levity. i think, since you apparently did perceive the OP's words as "almost a cry for help," you may have transferred onto me. Your perception is your own and, of course, not necessarily universal or shared. i saw a person being open and using words like "icky" to describe how she felt (i've never cried over "icky"). To me she was telling us how she feels and wants to know if we "feel the same way" or if we have "lost our fetish" in lieu of current events. i haven't, and said so. And, true to her words, she hasn't "judged" me, nor i her. We're just sharing our various feelings on the topic. i am not "complain[ing] of feeling particularly randy," under current conditions, but with effort at levity, stating it as a matter of fact- a result of forced abstinence. Covid-19 is natures Dom attempt at putting me in chastity?

Covid-19 has brought infection and its effects into fine focus for her, and many others who would not normally have disease and death as continuously on their radar. As a healthcare provider, dealing with disease has been a part of my every day life for years, so i have a different perspective and, frankly, a different set of coping mechanisms than someone who is not in a similar place. You might be shocked by a lot of healthcare humor if you spent a day on a critical care unit. We are continually faced with disease, death and dying and we often have a macabre sense of humor as a result. It's one of many ways of venting and coping that a person who is not in that position, or similar, cannot relate to and may not understand.

You conclude that i have " really shut down" and further judge: "that is not healthy." i "really" got snarky in my original reply to this (i considered and didn't post it). Actually, the opposite is true Ken. i'm still my same kinky self, albeit with no interaction because of Covid-19, and i do not consider who i am to be unhealthy. i'm "slightly puzzled/disappointed" that you do. Okay, sorry, i couldn't resist that one. i can see how, from your perspective, people who have retained their medical kinkiness in the current situation have "shut down," but it seems opposite to me. I.e., the person who's kink has been subdued by guilt is experiencing some shut down? i'll let the moralizers debate whether or not that is "healthy."

Our passions and fetishes don’t go away, we just focus our attention on other areas. Our mind can assign priorities to out thoughts. Our fetishes are complicated body emotions. It’s an amazing system we have. Go with your emotions for now. Things will normalize in time.

OP said: .....but recent events have turned me off to it. I feel guilty for being turned on by medical settings when all of this horror is going on.

@Agracie said: Fetish activity which does not harm anyone or affect anyone except yourself should never be linked to guilt. Giving in to feelings of guilt only makes a person vulnerable to exploitation by any number of hucksters and preachers of belief systems of any kind.

Agree with @agracier: Guilt occurs when you are insecure about yourself and/or question your fetishes - or you're Catholic. During this whole covid-19 fuckery (thanks again @Ms_Lila) I didn't see any drop in libido - and from a lot of the posts I've read (A Friendship Changes and others) it seems to have gone up due to lack of the ability to connect. If anything, sex drive and kink drive goes up when you have more time on your hands to think/fantasize about it and and less opportunity its to act on it. Guilt is a weakness.

I've had my moments of questioning my fetish (which, in medfet, is simply patients with masks). But, quite frankly, I've been engaging in it more and more. I follow women's gymnastics, and am learning more about cheerleading lately.I also support the ballet. And I have to admit that it's a turnon to watch my instagram and see that uniform suppliers for the aforementioned activities are starting to make COVID-19 earloop masks, and even selling bundles of, say, a ballet leotard with matching mask. And, frankly, it's stunningly gorgeous on the right girl.

It would be great if we could go back to the previous normal where COVID-19 hadn't happened yet. But we can't. We need to adapt. And part of that adaptation, for me, has been seeing more and more pretty girls wearing medical-style masks (earloops and tie-ons, N95 or not).

I don't like seeing people die, but my fetish is what it is, and it's not waning overall.

I've had my moments of questioning my fetish (which, in medfet, is simply patients with masks).

Here is something regarding masks I found in an old 1930s beauty magazine. Thought it might interest you.

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=gallery;ox=showalbum;ax=4145

I also have had some guilt over this. I’ve been back and forth as to step away for a while.

If anything my drive is greater now as I'm bored and cannot travel. I just retired and had several vacation trips planned which are now all canceled.

This must be a happy time for you, duckbillN95 (message #20 ). All those masks!

- Ken

Guilt is a weakness.

Not if you are guilty, gwhap (post #19 )! In particular, having a conscience is a sign of mental and moral health, it seems to me.

- Ken

P.S. lsn't a Moderator going to correct the misspelling in the title of this thread?! ?

I saw the mistake, it is ok now.

Amethyst (post #26 ), you're a gem! ?

- Ken

“ @gwhap said: Guilt is a weakness.

O. @kenneth177 said: Not if you are guilty, gwhap (post #19 )! In particular, having a conscience is a sign of mental and moral health, it seems to me.

Accept something you did as wrong and regretting that is one thing. I regret a lot of things I’ve done in the past (present as well). But no guilt over it. I did what I did for a reason. Maybe a stupid reason. Guilt is a cop out for not taking responsibility

Guilt is a cop out for not taking responsibility

It could be just semantics, gwap (post #28 ), but l would have thought the contrary. If you or l ARE guilty of something, and feel it, then that's as it should be. To not feel it would be wrong. HOWEVER, as my revered yoga teacher from Mumbai said, you (or l) should still be DETACHED from that feeling - or any other feeling we have. That's the secret! Seriously.

- Ken