When I first laid eyes on my husband @TedStarr I saw this 100% nerd that in no way resembled Brad Pitt or someone stepping out of GQ or a male stripper. He doesn't look like the rugged guy in any of those Old Spice commercials or those cologne black and white ads that are in Italian or some romance language. To be truthful I didn't give him a second look and just kept right on walking by the table in the library he was sitting at with his lap top and stacks of books and writing pads. At the time I was into women, I had a girlfriend and we had a good thing going but knew it wasn't going to last much past college or even noon.
But that little nerd at the table that I didn't give a second glance to, like I told myself and wrote up in the previous paragraph, made me realize I was lying to myself about not noticing him. I was fairly attractive and even with my girlfriend I did date guys who were all hands, somewhat intelligent and enjoyable. I wasn't hurting for any company or some sex from time to time but I found myself walking through the library and there was this nerd with the nerd glasses, the nerd bod, the laptop computer, the pens and pencils, and at the same table with no one else around. To be sure the other tables or desks didn't have that many people at them but he was almost a fixture. We made eye contact a few times and I mean eye contact and if he was checking my booty out I didn't see him doing it.
Why the hell was I thinking about him?
So one day I really 🙄 did have some studying to do and the library was the place I could go to do it. And there was nerd boy at his usual place and 90% of the tables were open and empty or had plenty of space. I had a back pack full of books and my on nerd thing going and I asked him if I could share the table with him? Nerd boy had my number and had a slight look of 'you want to sit here' on his face but it was just a flash. It was enough to tell me that he had more going on for him than I was thinking but was I thinking right? Or was I just wanting a little piece of nerd boy because he never seemed to undress me with his eyes whenever I walked through the library? How hard was nerd boy going to be to get to tumble and maybe stoke my feminine pride by making a pass. In short who is this nerd?
I'm not dumb and I think I am pretty savvy when it comes to sizing up people, and I am, but there was nerd boy sitting there actually studying and not looking my way or anything! I wondered if he was playing hard to get or just what was it and so I started a conversation and was blown away by just how much this nerd boy knew about his own self worth. He was smart, sharp, witty, but I got the message he wasn't going to fall for any tricks or walk into a nerd boy trap from some woman who was out of his league. HE WAS his league and after about 10 or 15 minutes of him looking me in the eye when we talked, I knew he was sure about himself and what he would want.
He didn't fall for anything close to fishing for compliments about myself and something about him just told me that a line from me about 'I see you here quite often' doing anything but stating the obvious. This nerd boy wasn't going to play any games and as my Aunt @Lora_C or my Mom @Asteria would say, nerd boy was No Shit No Sugar. He was calm and centered and confident and not afraid to make or admit mistakes because he just didn't care what anyone else would think. To be honest, and I later found out, he had been burned before and life for nerd boys back in his school was hell but he made it all work for him by not caring what others think about him.
He scared the hell out of me. 😮 Not in a bad boy or dangerous type of way, but there weren't many angles in on this nerd boy who only needed a pocket protector to make it complete. He wasn't a player and knew he couldn't be a player and didn't want to be a player.
He was Ted Starr top of his class accounting major with a definite goal for himself and almost single minded in getting to where he wanted to go. He is self confident and knows his worth and doesn't need me or anybody else to tell him this. He's a 'like me or leave me alone because I don't give a damn' kind of guy.
He brought that out in me too and and he made me know that there was no way I wanted to play any games with him but be honest. When I got him past the first couple of dates I knew I was serious and I laid it out there for him at a time when it would be talk it or walk it. We are walking it.
Women don't want men who don't want themselves or know what they are worth or have 'DOOR MAT' written on their ass. There are other things women don't want in a man but you need to know what you want in yourself first.