Men that women just don't want.

There are some men, actually males, that females just don't want. I used to think it was an appearance issue but I no longer believe that.

Yeah, I was one of them. The reason that I am using past tense is because I don't look for relationships with females anymore. This is not a crying or a whining post. I first came to notice this when I first started coming into my sexuality at about age 12. For years I thought that I was alone in this but time has taught me that there are other males that have this same situation. I think that it is something chemical.

I have reached a point and age where I no longer mind being laughed at for this but I would love to see a serious discussion about this issue.

Oh please, whoa is me! So you’ve personally asked all 2+ billion adult women and none of them want you? Really? You need to knock off this pity-party before you become one of those mass murdering incels. Or if you are starting this post to have all the women of Zity flock to you and say ‘oh, but I’d love to meet you!’, skip it, they’re too smart, you aren’t fooling them.

Look no one said it’s easy, and the dating/romantic world can be cruel, but it doesn’t owe you anything. I’m certainly nothing special myself, but if you read my posts I’ve had some amazing partners over the years. Adding kink to the equation of finding a partner certainly makes it harder, but it’s never impossible. But they aren’t going to come line up at your door. You have to work at it!

Talk to women. Be kind, be genuine, be interested in them as people. Heck if you can refrain from sending them a dick pic and put together coherent sentences, you are already ahead of 75% of other men! But wallowing in self pity is NEVER attractive to women.

IMHO, of course. ?

Stay away from incel groups. The idea that there's something "chemical" that you can't help making you unappealing to women is bunk. It's not even a physical thing, it's you. Plain and simple, if you want to be in a relationship with another person then you have to get your s*** together first.

I can also tell you right now when a guy calls women "females" it feels dehumanizing to me. Nine out of ten times I know that interaction is not going to be positive. I know that colloquially it's more common in AAVE or "ebonics" but it's the usage in conversations like this that get me.

Women are not a monolith. We are not a hive mind. There are billions of women in the world and surely at least a few thousand live close to you. Some of them are going to pick up what you're putting down. The best advice that I can give you is to figure out what your personality is and be upfront with it.

Are you religious? Are you really into RPGs? Do you like to cook? Do you volunteer anywhere? Find a couple of things that you like to do and lead with those. The chances are way higher that you're going to meet a woman who's into you if you share interests that don't have to do with your feelings or penis.

This is an interesting topic... is it something chemical? Well, as one who's been involved with both sexes, I know a man's body turns me off, while a woman's turns me on, oh do they ever! I love the scent of a woman's skin, hair, voice, curves of her body and looking into her eyes. Eye contact is amazing. Even though I'm old, there's a connection that takes place when our eyes connect. Okay, perhaps the connection is simply that I'm an old fool, ha...

I’ll echo most of what has been said here and, because statements like the OP just aggravate me to no end, will add: Do you bathe? Daily? Do you brush your teeth? Hygiene is important. If you don’t, do it.

Do you approach women (NOT females) with this attitude? Find a different one. Which women are you approaching? Are you, as my husband likes to say, ‘punching above your weight class’? I find it interesting that many of the men who claim that women are only into super-model looking men are only approaching super-model looking women.

If you limit yourself to 20% of the population then yes, you’re going to have difficulty and if you’re so shallow that it bothers you that you need to be more open about the women you approach then screw you, you deserve to be alone.

I will also add that it isn't necessarily about how you look. There are absolutely Jessica and Roger rabbit relationships. I realize without photos there's not really a way to prove it but my boyfriend is almost 10 years older and about a hundred and fifty pounds heavier than I am.

People have asked why I'm with him and that's the shallow part of our society talking. The truth is that he's smart and he's funny and he makes me laugh. He shares my interests and I have never felt pressured or disrespected with him.

Looks fade (unless you have Shakira and Jlo money lol) or God forbid I was in an accident or something that messed my face up. It truly is what's inside that counts, but what's inside has to be good.

@ShimmerMist you are absolutely correct. The serious relationship I had prior to my current husband was with a guy that literally looked like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family. And he dumped me.

All I can say is this: don’t acquire tastes that you can’t afford. In women or anything else.

That goes along with the old line:

If it flies floats or fucks, you are better off renting it.

In this case "renting it" could involve hookers.

You know, all of this brings me back into contact with all the reasons I don't date.

Pareto principle

I sometimes Say male and female for Man woman, yes I dehumanize myself

There are some men, actually males, that females just don't want. I used to think it was an appearance issue but I no longer believe that.

Yeah, I was one of them. The reason that I am using past tense is because I don't look for relationships with females anymore. This is not a crying or a whining post. I first came to notice this when I first started coming into my sexuality at about age 12. For years I thought that I was alone in this but time has taught me that there are other males that have this same situation. I think that it is something chemical.

I have reached a point and age where I no longer mind being laughed at for this but I would love to see a serious discussion about this issue.

Have you ever thought is has something to do with your personality and how you act in the presence of other people????????????

There are people of both sexes that I had and have no interest in being with.

You know, all of this brings me back into contact with all the reasons I don't date.

That's too bad because being bisexual, you have twice as many opportunities as straight people to have a good time! 😎

I actually went thru this for part of my teen years. Many of the high school girls were not interested, in a major way. I had more date requests rejected than a poor author gets rejection slips, though I did have a girlfriend in High school. I considered myself UN attractive. Then I got into college and started lifting weights in earnest. Girls are as shallow as guys, trust me--because THEN (about 6 mos. After I started lifting a lot) almost every girl I met gave me "the look." If you have gotten that look a few times, you know what I mean (and what IT means). I was still a nerd, but looked like a jock. I learned that "look" quickly, but didn't take advantage because by then I was going with my college girlfriend, whom I eventually married (now my EX-wife). Another observation: What's interesting is the way people age. Now, at a "good age," I sometimes see women who were hotter than fire at 18, but who just let themselves go. Let's just say they should avoid cattleguards. Same for men. The number of giant bellies is amazing. I do still get "the look" from time to time, but evidently I'm not as hot as I was at 19 or 20 (go figure), and my own tastes have definitely changed. When I was a teenager, it was more about sex. Now it's more about my favorite sorts of "play." Since there are fewer women with any libido in my age bracket now, many of these women, even if they are still attractive, prefer gardening to men. In a way, it's like high school before girls. I'm crazy horny, yet women--well, let's just say they aren't that interested at their age. For the most part, too, those that appear interested seem to want to know more about their male friends' bank accounts than anything else. Glad I'm older and understand the golddigger principle.

Added material, because I can't help it.

Anyone consider a blog here called "advice to the fucklorn?" ??

"Advice to the hoselorn?"

"Are you FetLorn?"

"Seeking a different sort of baglady."

Oh, well.

There are women "out there" who aren't raving beauties or super models, but they have an attitude about themselves that just makes me take notice. They LIKE themselves! I'm not talking about a conceited type of liking themselves. They have a self-respect and acceptance of who they are and they don't care if you like it or not. You just like talking to them and you don't leave wanting to kick the dog or run the other way. They are the type of women that you just enjoy being around and they have a sense of humor, too! If you told them to fuck themselves, they would because, "HEY! Good idea! I'm a good time!" They would also see I was joking.

@Kashmir, if you don't like yourself, who the hell will want to like you? How's your outlook on life? Gloom and doom? Conspiracy theorist? Woe is me? Kill everybody and let god sort them out?

We all know people like that. When I see one diddy-bopping down the street, or an aisle in the store, I haul my tired ass out of there or turn the other way. You know, the kind of people who suck the light and happiness out of everything. The kind of person who brightens the room when they leave. The kind of person who would break their own teeth if they ate their own cold, hard, heart out. The kind that Beth Anne won't let in her flower shop because the flowers will wilt when they walk by. The kind that @Lora_C would avoid because she couldn't bitch-slap them because there weren't enough hours in the day, or enough ammo. Neither of those women think that way about themselves and they sure as fuck won't let you think that way about them, at least not while you are in bitch-slap-range.

You don't have to be good-looking. You don't have to look like a super model. I know. There's a meme out there somewhere that has the picture of this hot looking chick with the caption, "Even as good as she looks, there's some guy out there that is sick of her shit." Women can put a hot-looking guy in the picture and apply the same caption, but with he instead of she.

https://youtu.be/avk1LTnIrXI

Yeah, play that a couple hundred times.

The OP hasn’t been around for a while, but this is a good thread. I agree with @Cedar and others: whether you’re male or female attitude and confidence (not arrogance) are attractors; whether as a friendship, business relationship or sexual attraction. Any new thoughts on this?

I am mostly attracted to my wife for her positive and assertive attitude - not bossy but sure of herself. She also has a nice ass! 😈🌹

Video referenced below is right on ! https://youtu.be/avk1LTnIrXI

I know there's a woman I'm glad I'm rid of, my ex. 😁

After my failed first marriage, I spend a fortune on counseling thinking it was my fault that my ex couldn't keep his penis in his pants. I had a counselor tell me we are conditioned to believe in happily ever after and that's not the way the world is. The odds of having a story book marriage are slim. He further expounded. “Imagine a roulette wheel with only numbers. You pick a number before spinning the wheel. You spin the wheel and add the ball. The odds of having a story book marriage are about the same of that ball landing on the pre picked number. However marriage can work but it takes a lot of work on both parties.” My marriage now is happy but we work at it.

@ddell2 I agree that much work, defined as communication, is the key to a successful marriage. As an example, my father recently passed after 64 years of marriage. So it does work.

“Imagine a roulette wheel with only numbers. You pick a number before spinning the wheel. You spin the wheel and add the ball. The odds of having a story book marriage are about the same of that ball landing on the pre picked number.

Apparently I lucked out, but it was the second time around!!

@Rigel likewise! Our balls landed on the right number!

@ shimmermist

I can also tell you right now when a guy calls women "females" it feels dehumanizing to me.

Often when writing, the use of the common word ‘females’ sounds more polite, objective and neutral. I wouldn't put much of any value judgement into the usage, not when writing a text in any case.

And just as when it comes to skin color and ethnicity, finding the right and currently acceptable word, is like trying to cross a proverbial minefield. A very challenging ordeal.

In spoken language it sounds different, a bit clinical perhaps, but in written language it is just a neutral word.

So clearly not speaking for all women but just my personal input.

I actually had a thing for short men. I like the contrast because I'm on the tall side. I think it still applies.

That being said though, I can never see myself dating a submissive or a "girly" man and literally would rather go for a toxic jerk before that.

So like

Short- can be a plus

Bald-Not a deal breaker

Not a looker-not a deal breaker

Feminine, submissive - nope for me, never wanna be involved.

Round midsection - can be a deal breaker

Boring/low intellect - can be a deal breaker

Low income - separate incomes.. it's fine.

It's always been confusing to me, the guy-girl thing. Though, as to the first post in this thread, reducing it to "chemical" doesn't process in my mind.

For me, the men I get along most with are men I'm not romantically attracted to, although they do treat me fairly and humanely. The guys I used to be "attacted" to ended up treating me pretty poorly. So some of the issue is with me obviously, but some guys are just too self-centered to be good partners long term IMO.

Anyway, for the moment, I'm spending most of my personal time with other women, but men aren't out of the picture. Just have yet to come across the right one for me.

I'll bite...

From a youngish age, maybe 5'th, 6'th grade, for the most part, I kept a girlfriend. Not multiples, just one. But she was typically the one I wanted. Move on to High School and my first true love. She was something. Everyone loved her. Super sweet, funny, cute. Mine. From there to the next...Not to me, but for all intents, a trade up. On to College and yet again, soon after settling in, I'm dating a flipping knockout, that is about top graduate. From her on, Could have married any of them. Through all this, I fooled around on them. Mostly only when out of town, but not always.

I am by no means, drop dead handsome. Not even close. I have friends that could and can get laid on their looks alone. No joke. Walk into a joint and the girls are trying to pick them up. I've never been so lucky. I'm not ugly by any stretch either...But...Still yet. Looking back, I managed some girls, some situations should have been waaaaaay over my pay grade. And I've always done this, managed this, with my silver tongue. I could talk my way into just about any girl I set my sights on. Not lies or bullshit either...Maybe a bit of bullshit, but just kinda...Smooth? Maybe. Anyway. Ive always had to work for mine, whereas some friends never did.

It got time to think about marriage. My friends were, I needed to. Or all the good ones would be gone...Right? I quickly meet and become engaged to the girl I was supposed to marry. One of the learned professions, good family, well spoken, well travelled...All that shit. A lucky man I was to have her. But my career was really taking off now too. And younger woman wanted my attention. So. Part with the first and move on to the second. Trophy wife, 10 years my junior. And for almost 2 decades, we are living the dream. I honestly, couldn't have been happier. Everything was as it should be. I thought. But something changed and she started laying the groundwork to really put now to me. Which she did. Never saw it coming. Up to this point, I was always the one leaving. Every time. Never felt the sting of betrayal.

There is half a century almost of me basically pulling talent over my pay. The last one. She did a number on me. Emotionally and financially. Deep, deep pain...And since then, every girl I've had relations with, has left me sitting like a worn out pair of shoes. Never been dumped or shit on for near 50 years and now, every one of them cant wait to screw me over. And these are woman that are NOT over my pay...Well, they must be...But much different caliber than before. Much different. Yet they all eventually decide I suck and they drop my ass. I cant buy a damn date. It's unbelievable. It's hard to handle. I mean...A lifetime of one thing and now the second and third string is too damn good for me.

Y'all must can smell it on us. That sour smell of defeat. Hurt. Betrayal. That urgency to meet the right one. The desperation. I have no idea, but it's been one hell of a changeup. I used to like to think it was me. Not what I might could do for someone. How I could affect their life. This, in part because I could leave town and still operate above grade. I thought they loved me. Wanted me. I'm beginning to think it was never about me. Kinda sad. Real sad for me, as I'm as genuine and sincere as they come. I fall hard and fast. Hate change. A good man. I wasn't always, but I can say now, for sure, I am. But no-one wants me. And I need a girl. Have always needed one. Damn. I risk outing myself with this much info, but....Well....Guess we'll see.

I think, once you lose your mojo, it aint coming back. And the opposite sex knows this. They sense it....They know we're desperate. They know they can do better. And if you never even had mojo to begin with? Shew. Tough business. At least I have my many tales, and a fairly impressive run, for an average looking dude.

I'll bite...

So, from a woman’s standpoint, what do you women read here?

Interesting ideas, when we are young, we have a lot to learn about life and for some the self image may not be good. As we mature a bit more the chances for us improve but where you live and how much education you and any significant other has is now going to be a part. Then I expect health concerns, start to enter as does if you are ready and able to retire to enjoy your senior years. I initially traveled a lot, military kept me away and when I became a civilian my work kept me away again maybe 50 or 60 days a year. I sort of retired when I was 51. My wife had a professional job also and worked near home, and also retired early. In her retirement she traveled quite a bit and would be gone for several nights every so often. Can't say we were a perfect match, we each brought something to the table, maybe more importantly we never tired of each other even after fifty-two years and counting. The idea of starting over doesn't really appeal to me, I've many times when I was younger thought I was going to die, and held the hands of others as they did. I think those experiences changed me and gave me the ability to appreciate just about everything. I think I have seen that in other vets over the years, but maybe that's just me.