When did you know that you were either Dom or sub?

My father often used a leather belt to discipline me as a child and adolescent. If I got too out of line, I was made to completely undress for the beating. He was very old school so I was usually left with welts, red strap marks and sometimes black and blue. Around age 13, I began fantasizing (often)about situations in which I would get spanked with a leather belt or slapped across the face from any man I was crushing on at the moment. As I got older, I realized I was also turned on by taking in a dominant role. So, I think I started as a masochist and evolved into a switch...

Sexually speaking, I am an incel, tbh, but when I was 15, throughout the course of that age, I was approached by three girls for a kissing session. All three of them were quite attractive. But I never learned to approach a girl.

But now, at 44, my fantasies are all rather dom. I take control. I impose my fetishes and my limitations, and she agrees to them without contest.She wears a mask on her mouth and nose. And either footed pajamas with vinyl soles/toecaps, or a school kit with opaque tights, or a Clara gown, usually white, with a pink or white bow and, instead of ballet slippers, she has on pink satin ABDL booties.

I think my realization that I was a total dom was just in the past 5 years or so. Before that, I didn't have that much of an understanding of the term.

But alas, I am single, so this is all fantasy.

I knew at age thirteen that I had become a submissive teen boy who secretly was craving the Ivory soap and warm water enemas, that caused severe cramping, and the bare bottom spankings in the nude that I received at home from women who were adult relatives or friends of my mother. The enemas and spankings were recommended by our family doctor, a woman, to treat my chronic constipation and provide a consequence for my periodic temper outbursts and rebellious behavior. I would become very submissive when the adult would remove my clothes, spank my bare bottom with their bare hand or hairbrush, and give me enemas with bulb syringes that had a large and thick nozzle that created a stinging sensation when inserted in my anus. During this time period when I played softball on a regular basis, a tall and muscular sixteen year old boy, a new member of our softball team, became friends with me and over time would dominate me by telling me that I had the big sexy bottom of a woman, spank me on my big bottom whenever I was at bat and hit a ball a long way into the out field, snap a towel on my bare bottom when I was coming out of a shower and then rub my bare bottom with his hand to make it feel better, put his arm around my neck and kiss me when we were walking in the shadows under trees at the park, comb my blonde hair that was down to my shoulders and tell me how studly I looked, buy me food and take me to the movies, and train me to please him as his secret boyfriend. i would become both aroused and submissive when I was with him, and even though I was popular with girls and had several girls as close friends, I craved his attention, wanted to spend time with him, and allowed him to pull my pants and underwear down by my ankles, bend me over, spank my bare bottom, and manhandle me when we were alone in a house, garage, or in a secluded area in the forest near a lake. I secretly loved him and needed him to dominate me. As an adult, I have become a submissive male bottom for both men and women.

I am a switch. I guess I knew it when I was in my teens. Growing up in the Golden Years of the 50's and 60's I was the baby of my family having two older brothers. To say the least I was a handful got into trouble a lot which ment I got spanked a lot, by my mom with her oval oak hair brush, my step dad with his big hand and fraternity paddle, my uncle with his big hand and hairbrush and my Aunt with her hand and Wooden spoon. My tush was well tenderized to say the least. The spankings hurt and I did cry a lot, butt as the pain subsided, I felt the needles and pins tingle which made my boyhood stand at attention. I had watched my brothers so I knew how to take care of it.

While all this was happening, I was playing with the kids in the neighborhood and we would play games that would end up with one of us spanking the other. I was the person who got to spank the other person. Some were boys and some were girls, some were over clothes others were on their naughty bare bottoms. As they were over my lap, I felt my boyhood getting hard and remained that way until I was able to take care of it after I got home. This has continued even till this present day as I write this.

I love being a switch because it gives me both perspectives, one as the person being spanked and all the emotions he or she is feeling as a spanking progresses from being fully clothed to removing the panties or underwear exposing their naughty bare bottom. Either way weather one is being spanked or if one is spanking, the power exchange is intense.

My own experience has been that like all tastes, sexual preferences can change and evolve as time passes. As we grow older our appetites change, so we shouldn't be surprised when we find ourselves turned on by something we might have spurned in the past.

All I can say is try it, you never know!

On a gang holiday in France some years ago I lost a bet and had to allow myself to be bound in coloured ropes by a lady who was a Shibari expert.

At the time I was a very str8 Master with a committed slave. The idea that I would meekly allow myself to be restrained was anathema.

But a bet is a bet, and has to be honoured.

Some months later I found myself subbing to this Lady and we both had a memorable time.

She struck a spark in me and now I am happy to admit to a range of pleasures without a label.

I've enjoyed subbing to both men and women, and I can wield a cane and apply discipline just as I always did.

So don't be too harsh on yourself. Don't be in too much of a hurry to apply labels to yourself. Wait and see, and experience all you can, while you can! You never know!!

Began as a sub in my early twenties. Started getting Dom feelings in my mid thirties. Now I love both equally. I think you can be a better Dom if you have been on the other side of the nozzle and hairbrush.

I think i could switch depending who i'm with.

I remember as a kid playing cops and robbers etc. and finding a piece of rope and tying one girl up. I didn't understand the sexual attraction in tying her up and having her defenseless, not even sure if there was one. But I do remember liking doing it and we did it often after that first time. It would sometimes graduate to me tickling her while she was tied. I really liked that, and she did too. It never actually got sexual and we eventually drifted apart and stopped playing those sort of games. I look back on those times and can definitely see there was an attraction in being able to do whatever I pleased with her. Often wonder how far she would have let me go I had pushed it. I did have my hand in her knickers one time “tickling” her.

The real trigger for me was when I was in my twenties and had my friend's wife over my knee for a bare bum spanking. Instant erection and I knew I wanted this. Definitely set me on the path to become a Dom.

I am an avid reader and of course jumped on the 50 Shades bandwagon when it was released. I had previously read a few stories with light bondage. Not sure at what point I questioned if I were a submissive. But it's only been the last year or so that I have been researching about it. Experienced a little with my last relationship and that really brought it to my attention. Since then I have researched more in depth and have a LDR with Sir. I have been learning quite a bit about the lifestyle and myself with him.