Why the shame around enemas?

I have been ashamed and hid my fetish most of my life. Not too long ago, I became open about my interests. I've now done enemas in front of others that I haven't had sex with and in front of thousands of people in films and live Web shows. I leave my bag hanging in the bathroom all the time and am open to discussing it with most.

What I've been curious about is why all the shame attached to enemas. I know the part about it being close to scat play or just really twisted in some eyes. Sexuality is quite open these days and an enema fetish actually seems rather tame compared to some.

How many have gone to great lengths to hide their hobbies only to find out that you were only fooling yourself? How many have been totally open about it?

How many want to be open but just can't take that first step.

All I know is that if I'd been able to be open about this years ago, I would have saved myself a lot of trouble and stress.

I wouldn't so much say shame, just that most people are not exhibitionist enough to put it on public display, and fewer still are voyeuristic enough to watch!!

OK, social connections I'm all for but some things are better done in private.

An enema should NOT involve SHAME!@! because then it crosses the line into abuse, but just because it does not involve shame or shaming does not mean it has to be right out in the open for all to see!!!

Over the course of our lifetime, all of us klismos have probably overheard or been part of a conversation about enemas with either friends or co-workers. And most of the time enemas are snickered at or cast in the "heeeew gross" context.

Given that common reaction, I think most of us would not want to admit we enjoy doing enemas on a regular basis for pleasure and/or sexual eroticism. Call it fear of being judged or viewed as gross or whatever, this is why a good many enema people here on zity keep it a very private matter even from their spouses that they are most intimate with.

I have told a few sex partners that I like to do enemas for sexual reasons and others for health reasons, but I carefully choose who I tell and the right moment in conversation when I feel it is appropriate.

Some people are completely open about their sexuality and all that goes with it. And that does produce a feeling of psychological freedom.

I initially told my wife I liked enemas early on in our marriage. Her reaction was not so much "gross" but confusion- how could an enema be sexually erotic. At that point, I chose not bring it up again and she forgot about the conversation. Many years later I reintroduced the subject and she was kind of shocked like the first time. But this time I said I did not want to hide it from her and now I keep my equipment stored in closets but not hidden.

She does not want to participate, but acknowledges I can do them whenever I want. Getting to this point has relieved the stress of trying to keep my fetish hidden. So being more open about our enema use at least with the ones closest to us is a much better place to be in vs. keeping it hidden.

In the Sixties you couldn't hardly spend a night in the hospital with out receiving one (at least around here) I wonder at that time if people talked more openly? Obviously they talked about there stay at the hospital.............. "and I got one of those darn enemas". I suppose its not much different than not wanting to call to make an appointment and then to go see a proctologist. Sort of a private place.

At some point in society people started keeping animal like behavior privet. Just like a lot of things in society, we humans should not display those biological functions in privet. This also is true with a lot of emotions such as anger, and serious affection. These are just a few of the animal behaviors that comes to mind. Clearly this social fab (might call it a fad) has evolved a lot over he years.

I never felt shame with enemas until I started telling others that I liked and I miss them. That's when they started making fun of me and saying all kinds of nasty things. The shame didn't start until others started shaming me.

There is a new video posted on YouTube by the University of Utah detailing the significant health benefits of large volume enemas. I suspect the shame we feel is that we enjoy sensual benefit from the very healthy procedure. Not much of an issue for a Senior like me as I will take any enjoyment in life that fits so well into a fixed income.

After many years of marriage (and hidden solo enemas), I finally got the determination to be more open about my use if them, occasionally asking my wife for "help in the bathroom". Over time occasionally morphed into frequently and eventually being accused of liking them. Although I was caught off guard by the comment, I didn't deny it, rather, I just stated the obvious; that an enema was a tool, just like the hammer in my tool box and could be used for many different reasons and/or purposes. I was hoping this statement would lead on to further discussion of the subject, but my wife didn't care to continue that conversation. However, the next time I needed/wanted an enema and said so plainly to give my wife the opportunity to use the facilities before I got started, I was very surprised when she quickly volunteered to hold the bag for me, "so I wouldn't have to do it over and over again". Since that time I have't had to play solo, even when I wanted to. Happy days are here and I hope they never go away. She never made any disparaging comments only stating that I needed to drink more water and eat more fiber at every meal. Although I did feel shame in asking for what I wanted, I finally realized that the shame was self inflected, not flung at me by someone else.

Because that was something that was “dirt” in the older generation. Sadly

I don’t know if it is so much a shame thing with most people, but it is very private. And like most things private, it becomes embarrassing if someone else finds out that I didn’t want to know. I am not ashamed of my love of enemas, but I don’t publicly announce or openly talk about it. Like most things that are done in private it’s for me only.

Think about your sexual life. I don’t think most people are ashamed or embarrassed by it, but it isn’t openly talked about. Would you walk into a room of people and announce ‘I had a great orgasm last night!’? Or ‘My wife came 3 times last night before giving me a blow job and she swallowed!’? Some things are just private in nature. I don’t think I have ever talked about my sexual experiences openly with someone other than my partner at the time. It’s a private experience between two people. I don’t talk about masturbating with anyone. I’m not ashamed of doing it, but it is very private to me.

Most fetishes or pleasures are very private. If you cannot do it openly in public without getting arrested, then it is probably something that should be private. If it is widely accepted in public, then there is no shame or embarrassment in doing it. Holding hands is readily accepted in public and I have never had a problem with it in public. I had a girlfriend who was uncomfortable kissing in public, so that became a private thing. I wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed by it, but she felt personal affection was a private thing.

I have had colonoscopies done a couple of times and a final cleansing enema is required. When I talked to the doctor and nurse about it, I wasn’t embarrassed at all. It was appropriate for the setting and was an acceptable topic for the situation. So a lot of it has to do with when, where and what you are doing. The topic was appropriate.

If I was in a room of people who were openly talking about enemas, I probably would join in with my experiences as well. This forum is great for this. I never wrote about my experiences until I joined this site. I talked about enemas and the joy of taking them anonymously (in chat rooms), but never in person in public. So I believe it has to do more about the situation or environment and how acceptable it is than any feelings of shame.

There is a new video posted on YouTube by the University of Utah detailing the significant health benefits of large volume enemas.

Link? Just curious about their reasoning.

II am not ashamed of my love of enemas, but I don’t publicly announce or openly talk about it. Like most things that are done in private it’s for me only.

As open as I am, I would not walk into a room of strangers and start talking about enemas. And given the nature of the subject matter and the limited audience, I think it would be fairly unlikely that I run into anyone on the street who has seen one of the films I've been in. Even less so that they would recognize me. So I am not completely open in every extent.

I agree with @JayBee it id hard to get to know or date a guy with a medical fetish forget enemas.

I am a pretty open person with people I consider friends. If a friend were to ask me if I had ever been given a sexual enema I would be honest.

As far as a would be lover, before I got to the point of it becoming sexual I would definitely have discussed both of our likes and dislikes. While we do not have to be a carbon copy of each others sexual preferences we do have to be on the same wavelength and both be open and accepting of each others kinks.

Because I also believe that being open and accepting seeps into other areas besides the bedroom, I would never again be with someone vanilla.

@bridgette My point exactly!

Peter Mann,

There is a new video posted on YouTube by the University of Utah detailing the significant health benefits of large volume enemas................

I searched YouTube under Utah, Univ of Utah and enema and only found one video from about 2 years ago that only addressed "large volume enemas" (still quite small for adults) for specially selected pediatric patients from a UUtah hospital in Salt Lake City. Are you referring to that one or something else aimed at adults? What was their reasoning for the benefit of large volumes? What were the volumes? Count me skeptical but I'll wait for confirmation. Thanks,

Eric

As far as a would be lover, before I got to the point of it becoming sexual I would definitely have discussed both of our likes and dislikes. While we do not have to be a carbon copy of each others sexual preferences we do have to be on the same wavelength and both be open and accepting of each others kinks.

Now well into a 30+ year marriage, I can look back and think of all the things that I should have said/discussed with my now wife. We are not a total miss match sexually, but I am much more adventurous vs her. The ironic thing is, if I had of put all my sexual cards on the table, I am not sure we would be in a better place today. We are who we are and I don't think it would have made a difference. Of course we could have decided we were not meant to be together and broken it off. But we are actually a good match on lots of other important things like careers, financial management, no kids, and politics.

If I had of waited for the perfect sexual match to come along I doubt that person would have matched on the other significant issues in a marriage.

So ladies and gentlemen make the most of what you have and appreciate what you do have- there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.

There is a new video posted on YouTube by the University of Utah detailing the significant health benefits of large volume enemas. I suspect the shame we feel is that we enjoy sensual benefit from the very healthy procedure. Not much of an issue for a Senior like me as I will take any enjoyment in life that fits so well into a fixed income.

@Peter_Mann Along with Eric, I’m skeptical. While I LOVE enemas, giving and receiving, I’m not deluding myself thinking they are ‘healthy’, nor required for good health. We as animals evolved to be how we are. We didnt evolve with nozzles up our ass. No other species on earth needs water up their ass to be healthy. Of course some peop have digestive issues or medical side effects of some drugs/treatments, so enemas might be required/helpful for them. But for the most part, they aren’t required and we do them for pleasure and kink. And there’s nothing wrong with that!

As for the OP, the shame is because its weird, not normal, and even for kinky BDSM folk, enemas are extra KINKY! Bowel habits are embarassing for most people, and many married people never get to the comfort level of being seen sitting on the toilet. So enemas?? No chance! Its just embarassing and not talked about.

Although I like to USE this shame/embarrassment in my kink. I feel its extra naughty and dirty and weird, and that is exciting to me. If a sub is embarrassed that I make her do these things, yet they turn her on, thats part of the whole sexual mental experience. Years ago giving blowjobs was ‘crazy’ and shameful. Now no-one feels that way. Anal play still has the taboo cause its in the ‘dirty place’, and i for one am glad anal and enemas is still ‘shameful’ as that adds to my enjoyment of the experience!

Maybe not shame as such.

Just the embarrassment of being infantilized and turned into a whining groaning sometimes even crying child-like mess!

That's embarrassing, even to an older child.

I don't like being seen that way and I can't imagine why anyone does!

Whether you actually take enemas or not they seem to make you lose your shit!

A number of things.....First you must submit to someone to let them do it to you. you have to obey there commands. you are not in charge they are. you have to bare your bottom or more as per there instructions, so there is the embarrassment when the others are dressed. they will enter your body with a finger for lube, and the nozzle. you will lose control of your bodily functions , they will control them. you will be the center of attraction, and on display, again embarrassment. I would cringe and change the subject when ever it was brought up as a child. I would never admit to letting my Mom do that to me. I didn't want to see the bag. I would blush walking passed the bags on display in the drug store. ...toni

It's that "shame" that made finding this place here on the web so nice - here I can be open about my love of enemas and other fetishes. Great to be among like minded folks!

A number of things.....First you must submit to someone to let them do it to you. you have to obey there commands. you are not in charge they are. you have to bare your bottom or more as per there instructions, so there is the embarrassment when the others are dressed. they will enter your body with a finger for lube, and the nozzle. you will lose control of your bodily functions , they will control them. you will be the center of attraction, and on display, again embarrassment.

That's one aspect of being dominated when given an enema - but it can also be a very sensual and erotic act with no submission, embarrassment or loss of control - just simple enjoyment. In fact, in some cases, the one being given the enema is the one wanting it and in charge!

I second LisaK's remarks:

"Just the embarrassment of being infantilized and turned into a whining groaning sometimes even crying child-like mess!

Having to take repeated enemas in front of women is what does it to me most. Knowing that they are going to keep giving me enemas.

"Yes, I enjoy enemas," she says. "So, what!"- Monroe

I think because those that have not tried it fir sexual pleasure or stress relief think of it as something associated with poop and believe that those that enjoy them must be into scat. Such is obviously far from the truth. Also we were taught from childhood to think of having to go to the bathroom as private as opposed to a natural body function not to b3 ashamed of

The shame and embarrassment of enjoying enemas started in my youth. At the earliest of ages that I recall, bowel movements were closely monitored by mom and enemas were a regular occurrence in our house. I grew up in a large family with one bathroom and observing childhood enemas being administered was common. Enema equipment was left out on display to dry for several days after its use. It was not unusual for mom to have a couple of us soaking in the bathtub while she gave an enema to another one of us......all very matter-of-fact as a "good enema" was understood to be just a normal part of growing up back then. Kids would have a bowel movement or get enemas with the bathroom door open. The door was only closed if someone was visiting or if it was mom or dad moving their bowels or getting an enema.

At some point as we got older we were allowed to close the bathroom door to do our business and those enemas from mom became a more private affair. No longer was it OK to be seen getting an enema. Being cleaned out was alone time with mom and our conversations during enemas were spoken softly in low tones or whispers. And then came the uncontrollable (and embarrassing) erections during the process. The enema was not supposed to be something to enjoy, yet the uncomfortable warmth and fullness (along with mom preaching the benefits of enemas) became pleasurable and occasionally resulted in a "dry" orgasm. At some point, due I'm sure to my erections and relaxed cooperation with her enemas, mom decided it was time to self-administer. She would get everything ready for me, and then leave the room and close the door - telling me to take my time and give myself a good enema. It was the beginning of my career of enema/masturbation activities.

Being taught that masturbation was sinful (how warped was that?) and then combining it with the "dirty" process of bowel movements and enemas, it almost immediately became a most private and secretive activity. I would sometimes tell mom I had a stomachache, knowing mom would recommend and prepare a soapy enema for me. And I would sneak enemas regularly when the situation arose, many times during my evening baths. I enjoyed enemas immensely but was extremely private about it. And to this day no one, with the exception of my late wife and a former girlfriend (and of course those on Zity), knows this about me. It's just the way it is, and I'm fine with it.

I suppose that in our society there will not only exist a shame upon enemas but upon all that will have something to do with the moving of the bowels: enemas, laxatives or laxative suppositories; it's a taboo to talk about this one. - But not for me!

I believe the shame comes from the fact that most people find enemas distasteful and unpleasant We find them them exciting and neccesary for our well being

Not sure if I mentioned, the shame actually added to the pleasure of buying enemas bags from various drug stores - as much as I felt humiliation and shame in purchasing - it was also an addictive rush such that I just had to make a purchase. The only thing I now regret is that after building up a collection, I when thru cycle of throwing it all away in hopes of ending my addiction...