About spanking disciplinary

@Kulemh Growing up in the 60s and 70s spanking was the norm as words like ADD didn't exist. The pharmaceutical companies became profitable by drugging the kids. What was better? A drugged kid or a spanked one?

Growing up in the 60s and 70s spanking was the norm as words like ADD didn't exist. The pharmaceutical companies became profitable by drugging the kids. What was better? A drugged kid or a spanked one?

@William5 , while I agree the diagnosis of ADD has definitely gone up dramatically in the last decades, I am not sure about the cause of this.

With regards to your point, I agree that spankings in older times were absolutely benign and normal aid in education process. It’s hard to find anyone who would say that they were psychologically traumatised for life by spankings.

Yes spanking absolutely worked, that’s why for centuries it was nearly universal. What doesn’t work is hitting or beating in anger or with no restraint. And modern society doesn’t differentiate very well because of the “hitting is hitting” tripe from so called experts.

All that’s really necessary is that the child knows it is a consequence of misbehavior, not a result of making a parent angry or an act of revenge. In that context, children will avoid misbehaving to avoid being spanked. Some children who are more willful may try to avoid getting caught more often than avoiding misbehaving, but that can be said of any punishment.

Spanking has a lot of advantages over other punishments, one is that it’s an obvious reinforcement of authority and status. When I was a teen who thought I was smarter than everyone and didn’t have to listen to my parents, having my bare butt turned over a knee brought me to reality very quickly. It never happened to me personally, but being sent to a principals office and bent over to receive a paddling can also have that effect. Hard to pretend you’re all grown up when your butt is stinging from a spanking. The other is that it’s over with quickly. Most parents these days don’t have time or patience to carry out sentences of no phone or no games and I’ve seen parents tell their kids they were losing their phone only to have it given back because they needed to contact their kids. If you do follow through you are also turned into a warden or a cop. Spanking is done and over with and life can just go on. The modern alternative that I see over and over in hotels and airports is just shoving an electronic device in front of small children who are acting up to make them behave; basically teaching them throwing a fit gets them whet they want.

I’m very pro spanking and think personally that society’s tendency away from spanking has led to a deterioration in morals. It’s also interesting to note (for those who think spanking breeds fetishists) I’ve talked to many spanking enthusiasts over the years and there are a large number of them who never got spanked. I was only very rarely spanked growing up.

@oldskoolotk Don't forget the millions the pharmaceutical companies made by creating words like ADD. It was better and much more profitable to drug you kid instead of spanking them.

Spanking has a lot of advantages over other punishments, one is that it’s an obvious reinforcement of authority and status. When I was a teen who thought I was smarter than everyone and didn’t have to listen to my parents, having my bare butt turned over a knee brought me to reality very quickly. (...) The other is that it’s over with quickly. Most parents these days don’t have time or patience to carry out sentences of no phone or no games and I’ve seen parents tell their kids they were losing their phone only to have it given back because they needed to contact their kids.

I agree that spanking is a quick punishment. A parent does not have to watch their prohibitions. In addition, a punishment that follows immediately after the offense is good for a child. Corporal punishment is administered quickly. Both the parent and the child have quickly gone through this unpleasant procedure. I remember that in my childhood I anxiously awaited my mother's decision whether she would spank me for an offense. But when the decision was made, I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

Spanking is an embarrassing punishment, which for some is an argument against it. I don't think it's wrong to shame the culprit. Of course, to the appropriate extent. I am against spanking in the presence of witnesses. This is a matter between parent and child. However, I don't think it's a bad thing that spanking is embarrassing.

I remember when I was a child I overheard my mother's conversation with other women. My mother said that spanking must not only be painful, but embarrassing. She said that if it wasn't for embarrassment, the punished boy would feel like a hero. On the other hand, when he has to show his bare buttocks, he feels like a child who needs to be scolded. I didn't like it very much at the time. As a teenager, I really didn't like the fact that I was punished in such a childish way. But now I agree with it and I think she was right.

My mother said that spanking must not only be painful, but embarrassing. She said that if it wasn't for embarrassment, the punished boy would feel like a hero. On the other hand, when he has to show his bare buttocks, he feels like a child who needs to be scolded. I didn't like it very much at the time. As a teenager, I really didn't like the fact that I was punished in such a childish way. But now I agree with it and I think she was right.

This is exactly right. Very few will come out and say this though especially now. The idea of baring my butt over a parental lap became much more of a deterrent than the pain in later years.

It didn’t happen to me very often. But it taught me to fight back with violence if I ever got pissed off at someone! Probably not a effective approach, but it worked. Maybe not a good trait. Teaching viiolence is not teaching.

It was the main form of discipline I received whilst growing up. Although painful and sometimes embarrassing, it was over quickly. I preferred it to grounding or detention or other punishments.

But it taught me to fight back with violence if I ever got pissed off at someone! Probably not a effective approach, but it worked. Maybe not a good trait. Teaching violence is not teaching.

I got spanked and never got in a fight in my whole life or responded violently. So it was probably something else that taught you that. Spanking is a good scapegoat if you view it as violence though. Maybe your parents beat you in anger instead of explaining what you did wrong. My dad was an English teacher and spankings did teach me to behave because things were always explained.

Do you think that spanking worked in these times at home ??

Yes. It got my attention and I learned what behavior to not do. Also how to not get caught if something happened again.

Children seemed to behave better then. But maybe I'm viewing it through rose colored glasses from being too close to it at the time.

@William5 wrote, Don't forget the millions the pharmaceutical companies made by creating words like ADD. It was better and much more profitable to drug you kid instead of spanking them."

While I will certainly agree that ADD is way over diagnosed and often given to children who may need a good spanking, I have to take exception to your comment. The pharmaceutical companies did not create the words "attention deficit disorder", the medical profession did and it is real condition. According to the American Medical Association, attention deficit disorder (ADD) is “one of the best-researched disorders in medicine, and the overall data on its validity are far more compelling than for most mental disorders and even for many medical conditions.” That said it should be more carefully diagnosed by specialists trained to do so not the GP who is often bullied into medication by parents who want an easy fix and refuse to try putting their off spring over their knee first.

Maybe your parents beat you in anger instead of explaining what you did wrong. My dad was an English teacher and spankings did teach me to behave because things were always explained.

It seems to me that this is an important difference that distinguishes violence from corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is always preceded by an explanation. As a child, I didn't like getting spanked. But I knew what I was getting them for, and I knew it was the right thing to do.

Although painful and sometimes embarrassing, it was over quickly. I preferred it to grounding or detention or other punishments.

The advantage of spanking is that it is a quick punishment. The punishment occurs shortly after the child's offense, it is not postponed. There are a lot of unpleasant feelings: fear, shame, pain. But they go on quickly and soon it is all over. I remember the feeling from my childhood when the spanking ended. I felt relieved that I had it over with. I felt cleared of guilt. Although I still felt pain in my buttocks, the punishment was over.

Yes, definately. You had to earn a spanking, they weren't handed out because mom or dad was In a bad mood or drank too much. You didn't get spanked for doing something dumb. In my family, you got spanked because you did something defiant or something you knew was wrong and got caught. I absolutely avoided them at all cost.

They never worked for me. I got them all the time for everything so I did what I wanted reasoning that I would get a spanking anyway. That led to my mom trying to make them more painful but I learned to disassociate from them so it never worked.

I am always amazed when the question as to whether or not "spankings works" is asked. Works at what? Making you a better behaved child? Giving the child a moral compass? Teaching the child right from wrong? Of course a spanking doesn't do that. I don't believe that that is what a spanking is meant to do.

A spanking is punishment, pure and simple. It is an unpleasant outcome that comes as a penalty for misbehavior. Does it accomplish THAT goal? Absolutely. It does exactly what a punishment is designed to do. It may or may not act as a deterrent for future misbehavior but that really is irrelevant. If it does...great. If it doesn't...so what.

You want to instill proper behavior, good morals, a sense of right and wrong, a moral compass, values, a need to choose to do the right thing, then that is accomplished by direct teaching, discussion, reward for making good choices, providing alternatives to wrong choices and showing a good example, not by punishing.

Spanking is punishment. It is the unpleasant, painful then of an if/then statement. If you misbehave in this way, then it will result in a trip over Daddy's lap that you will not like and which will hurt and is a consequence of your already made choice despite you knowing that this would be the result.

@Papa_Sam 90% of your comment makes perfect sense but there is a 10% that can upset your theory

This 10% are the enjoyers, they enjoy beings controlled, then those intune for the sexual gratification. And then there is me.

I enjoy the satisfaction it gives me wife and I always have to make love afterwards. Loss of control.

I enjoy the loss of control and the cathartic feeling that enimate.

I dont love the pain but i love the focus it provides.

So, I like the whole act. My feelings are, hate, love and love and totally love all.

Be well.

@Borehamwoodman

90% of your comment makes perfect sense but there is a 10% that can upset your theory

This 10% are the enjoyers, they enjoy beings controlled, then those intune for the sexual gratification. And then there is me.

Then clearly these adults, if identified, would not be candidates for what I am talking about.

And if 90% of adults who are not "enjoyers" find the pain unpleasant then that certainly is a decent amount, I think. And some of the "enjoyers" who are identified might enjoy it less if release was mandated before a spanking rather than intensified after a spanking as you suggest is the case with you and your wife.

I enjoy the satisfaction it gives me

wife and I always have to make love afterwards.

See above. LOL

I enjoy the loss of control and the cathartic feeling that emanate.

I dont love the pain but i love the focus it provides.

That last part says a lot to me. If you don't want the pain but find the experience still erotic, then perhaps being forced to ejaculate before a punishment spanking and then having the pain element intensified might actually serve the purpose of turning something more erotic for you into something much less erotic and more punitive. Just a thought.

In any event, I do think that your 90% designation is a good amount if their experience is unpleasant. And given my interpretation of the original question which I took to mean the spanking of children as a disciplinary practice in the home, I would suspect that that number might be quite a bit higher than 90% and that more like 99+% of spanked children would find a spanking to be most unpleasant.

Be well, too.

Spanking would have 100% worked for me if it wasn't overused as it was with my parents. I was a shy, reserved girl and a couple of spankings early on would have been enough to keep me well behaved. Once it got to a point where I realized I'd eventually be spanked for something or other, I just decided to rebel more since it wouldn't matter anyways. So in my case it basically worked opposite as intended.

It sure worked with me. It kept me a polite, well behaved child, who never got into any serious trouble growing up. I also think it did me physical good. A long, hard spanking, the kind where, by the end, your whole mind is consumed in a world of pain, leaving you a sweaty, snot and tear choked, gasping, crying mess, burns up as many calories as running a mile. It also stimulates development of the gluteus muscles, which gives the recipient of frequent childhood spankings the firm, round buttocks that are so attractive in the teen years and adulthood. Such a spanking also allows the recipient to release any guilt they feel for their misdeed, and start off fresh, with a clean slate, and so is actually psychologically beneficial too. I look at how society has deteriorated since the anti spanking crowd pushed their agenda compared to how it was when I was growing up, and we kids got out bottoms scorched thoroughly and often, and wonder how any rational person cannot accept that spanking worked much better than the current style of parenting.

It definitely worked for me, (still does!) even though there was a part of me that craved it. Those two parts of my brain have always produced a tension that probably makes the excitement and anticipation all the sweeter.

Spanking works for me from childhood to adult,

I get spanked at home often for misbehaving and bad report book. It started with hand, hairbrush and paddle.

As and adult when I get an into big trouble I get the cane it hurts a lot.

I remember the time when I was caught smoking I was cane it left angry marks (=|=) on my bottom for a week

For me, it was effective, especially after my dad started using his belt on me. When my parents only used their hand or slipper, I was much more likely to risk breaking the rules. After my first taste of Dad’s belt (on a road trip where I had to sit between my older sisters on an ‘80s bench car seat for two hours after my whipping) all he had to do was touch his belt buckle to get my attitude/behavior to change. My parents were overly strict and I do not advocate for their style of punishment, much less their rules. I don’t agree with most of the things I was spanked for, or how severely I was spanked. Yet I cannot deny that it had the desired effect. So much so that in times when I felt a loss of self-control and was over eating/drinking, I longed for the kind of behavior modification my parents’ punishment provided.