Obsessive Desire for Spankings and Larger Enema Nozzles

When I was growing up, I was given enemas when I was feeling sick, when I was constipated, or when I was irritable and acting out. Some of the enemas were with herbs or Epsom salts which I found to be relaxing, and some of the enemas were with white Ivory soap which caused cramping and were perceived by me as a punishment enema for irritable behavior. I was first given enemas with bulb syringes, and I as got older their size increased as did the length and width of their nozzle. I began to crave the pain of larger sized nozzles being put inside of my anus. Since some of the enemas were preceded by disciplinary spankings, I also began to crave having my bare bottom spanked prior to an enema. When I was of adult age and given enemas with a red bag, I quickly tired of being given enemas with five inch long thin width nozzles and needed to find nozzles that were longer and wider to provide pain and a feeling of fullness when put in my anus. I now especially look forward to having my bare bottom and upper thighs spanked with stinging slaps and then being given enemas with a red enema bag with a two foot long colon tube or a six inch long black nozzle that is wide and feels painful as it stretches open my anus. I have a need to experience a tight fit and feeling of fullness in my anus. I also secretly crave the painful sensations when I have colon hydrotherapy and a big speculum is inserted in my anus. Below is a link to photos of colon hydrotherapy:

https://www.primepacifichealth.com/colon-hydrotherapy-speculums/

I am wondering whether others have had similar experiences, desire to be spanked when given an enema, or crave the painful sensations in their anus when a nozzle or speculum is inserted.

I have a need to experience a tight fit and feeling of fullness in my anus. I also secretly crave the painful sensations when I have colon hydrotherapy and a big speculum is inserted in my anus. Below is a link to photos of colon hydrotherapy:

https://www.primepacifichealth.com/colon-hydrotherapy-speculums/

The speculums for colonics are bigger than the average enema nozzle - not huge. The largest one from PrimePacificHealth is 1 1/8 inch outside diameter which isn't all that big. You're aware it's in there, but not uncomfortable (at least not for me). Look up Silicon Nozzles - they have nozzles over 2.5 inches in diameter and lots in between. You might like an inflatable balloon nozzle for a very full feeling as well. Good Luck!!

https://siliconenozzles.com/main.sc

LET'S GET REAL HERE.

No one who likes anal play, especially pleasurable pain thinks a one inch or one and an eighth inch nozzle or any type of toy is "big" or causes pain.

The speculums for colonics are bigger than the average enema nozzle - but not huge.

I correct my original post which said ".....bigger than the average enema nozzle BUT huge." to ..."but not huge". Spell check got me on my original post and I didn't proof it well enough. Agree - one inch doesn't do much for folks on this site.