How to know her spanking limit ??

I am mean when should I stop and know that is her limit .

if she asks for a good hard spanking then In middle of it , I hear ahhha ,oohs and maybe crying . I stop and she said keep going just give me a breaks in between but keep it on .

She doesn't want to use a safe word ,so how do I know that is the limit ?

When I stop to give her a break , do I rub her bottom gently or I just leave her alone for a few minutes ?

Perhaps give her an instruction that shows you her enthusiasm for continuing, but allows her a little control, like “hold your bottom up!” Unless she’s completely restrained, she should be able to shift her hips in such a way as to present you with her bottom. At first, she’ll probably do so eagerly and you’ll know she wants more. As things get more intense, and she’s wiggling away or shifting her hips to deflect the blows, you can stop and say “hold up your bottom!” Or “bottom out!” Or whatever reminds her to get back in the right position. If she’s nearing her limits, she’ll get there but she may take a little longer to assume the position than when you first started. She may wiggle more or duck and stretch before getting back into position. Watch for those signs and know that likely means she’s at the top of the range. Either stay at that level for a short time and then slowly back down, or offer her another break and see if she returns to her enthusiastic positioning afterward. If she’s struggling or reticent to offer you her bottom, it’s time to back off or start a cool down. Doing it this way she is giving you a fair bit of information and has a little bit of control from her position without feeling like she is directing you or telling you how to paddle her. Similarly, a lot of people use traffic light terms in place or or in addition to a safe word. If she’s fine and wants more she can say Green. If she’s maxing out and needs a break soon, Orange. If that last one was too much, Red! You can discuss before hand if red means a hard stop, or if red means back down or take a break until she says green again.

When I flog or paddle my husband, I’ll ask a simple “more?” every once in a while or take a little break to rub his ass with my hand and whisper in his ear, “you like that?” When I get an eager “yes!” Or a muffled “m-hmm” through a bitten lip I know it’s ok to keep going. When the chipper yes please turns into a more questionable “um...” or he has to think about it a moment before answering, I know I’m nearing his limits. I don’t want to hit his absolute limit to where he’s no longer having fun, I like to find a good 70-80% as my max then slowly ease back down so he’s eager for more another time!

Remember to talk about it after! Do some aftercare, whatever you both find comforting. Ask if she had enough, if she wants more next time. Ask her what she liked most and least and take note. Tell her how you felt, what you liked, etc. Make mental notes on what she wants more of, or if she felt like she could take more. If you have a hard time continuing when she’s crying, you need to talk to her about that. Explain that it goes against your nature to continue if she’s crying, so her feedback is really important.

@Peachfuzz excellent reply , informative and to the points I want to know about .thanks ?

Communication is so important. Ask her why she doesn’t want a safeword. Does she just want you to do what pleases you, regardless of her pleasure? Does she normally have a job where she tells people what to do and she just doesn’t want to be responsible for this as well? Is she normally more dominant in your relationship and she wants this as a way for you to be more aggressive without her ability to “top from the bottom.” Do she really want a physical release from stress, wants a reason to have a good hard cry, and feels like telling you to stop would prevent that? There are so many reasons why she wants a spanking that knowing her mindset will help you give her what she really wants!

Similarly, if you’re talking about it, you can find out what she needs from you when you spank her. Does she want to be scolded like a naughty schoolgirl? Does she want to be worshiped? Does she want absolute silence so she can work through the emotions and thoughts in her head alone? If she deeply wants you to tell her that she’s a whore and only good for sucking your cock, and you instead tell her she’s beautiful and sexy, she’s going to come out the other side less fulfilled than if you’d done what she wanted. It feels really weird to be saying those things out loud, especially out of the bedroom, but thats where they are best discussed. Clothes on, over coffee, out of the bedroom so there’s no confusion or pressure to conform in the moment. If she’s super hesitant to talk about it, send her an email with a questionnaire. Spell out some specific scenarios or true false statements and ask her to rate them 1-10 or make them true or false, then use those results as a jumping off point. Sites like letsexperiment.xyz might be fun to use as well.

@Peachfuzz you are spot on and very helpful . She is the boss at her work ,so maybe as you said she want to be submissive in our relationship .

I love spanking as giver and it turns me on , but it's not about pleasing me she wants to be spanked long and hard without safe word so I will have a complete control ( that is a turn on for her).

Emailing her is a great idea , to try to understand more about her fantasy .

Thank you so much

Cheers