Collar advice

I'm completely new to this. I've been spanked, paddled, and flogged, and keep coming back for more, but still, only have a vague concept of the lifestyle.

My question is more about a fetish within a fetish. I love the clothes and accessories. Particularly women, dressed for play. I want to wear some of it on the street, sort of announcing my hobbies.

Before anybody asks isn't that a little risque- I wear my foxtail buttplug in public under a skirt, it hangs out about 6", I have an Astroglide t-shirt, a 'Dyke...deal with it' t-shirt, I just ordered a 'I'm with her, and she spanks me' t-shirt. I'm hard to embarrass.

I've asked on the huge fetish site if I can wear a collar, and not be owned by someone. More of a fashion statement than a symbol. Unfortunately, a site that huge just offers conflicting advice. Answers I've recieved- No, it's an insult to the lifestyle, I'd just be seen as a fraud, Nobody will talk to me, assuming I'm owned, or a few Go for it, it's just a collar.

Of course, I could take it off for events, and play parties.

What say you?

@Buttwoman go buy the collar of your dreams.

I would not let someone else dedicate what you are "allowed" to do. This is either a fashion statement or an symbol of one of your interests, Based on your other postings I am guessing this is what you have already decided.

Thanks- Not decided. I don't want to mis represent, or anger anyone in the lifestyle.

It wasn't really an issue until the guy I met last week said - Don't.

There is no "Queen or King or President or Governing body" of the "life style" . The Lifestyle is defined by you, no one else.

Some sites can be a bit elitist, and I don't know enough people to just ask a friend.

I'm going shopping at Dungeon Divas today, and may throw one in the cart.

Edit- crap. It's labour day. No shopping for me 😢

If you want to wear a collar, by all means, do it. Don't deny yourself of a fetish because of what others may think or say. You may to choose your moments to wear it/not wear it, but ultimately, do what feel good for you regardless of others' opinions.

Wearing a collar for no reason other than the fun of it is just fine.

My husband and I were on vacation in Cape Cod when we were in our mid thirties and we decided to have a little fun, so I wore one of my polished leather collars that has a few stainless steel rings attached and was locked on by a small but visible lock in the front when we went out to a bar.

I wasn't acting slutty, but flirtatious enough, seated by myself and dressed provocatively enough for a couple of men to try picking me up. One was pretty naive saying "that's an interesting necklace". I told him it's a collar. He said yeah, "that's really an interesting necklace". I said, "IT'S A COLLAR." He asked if he could buy me a drink and I told him it would be OK but that would be all unless he had the key to the lock. He said "you mean so you could remove the bulky necklace?" I said IT'S A COLLAR and my husband won't permit you to do anything more unless you have the key! I pointed to my husband and said you can ask him if you can have the key. Then he finally got it. He didn't ask my husband anything, but we finished our drinks together. The second guy was more hip, recognizing that it was a collar and he was hitting on me as my husband watched on.

No, I didn't do anything with either of them involving the removal of any clothing.

You are free to do whatever you want and wear something just because you like it. There is no one 'twue' way to play in the kink world so do what works for you. If you want to have fun with it while out, use Susies experience and put a lock on it, only letting someone pick you up if the have the key. Maybe you could find some flirty way of giving it to the one you want...

Have fun and enjoy! And make it a statement - you are collared and owned and answer only to yourself!

I am certain your answers will vary by the group you ask. In my belief, a collar means something. I means you have given yourself completely in submission. A collar is something to be earned and given, many times, in a collaring ceremony. To me a “collar” is not a fashion statement. That is why I would never wear a collar unless someone found me worthy of wearing theirs.

With that said, if this is not your belief, by all means then go ahead and wear one. Whatever makes you happy is cool.