I have lots of medical fantasies but the following story might be enjoyed by others. I just wished it had happened to me!

Many adult babies may not be aware of how their liking started. I can remember well where and when my appreciation for being and adult baby commenced and I'd like to share the experience with you. The memories are very strong for me as this was such a momentous occasion in my life.

I was four at the time and was to go into hospital to have my adenoids removed and to have an antrim washout ('nose wash' a hole bored at the back of each nostril and the sinus cavities washed out with salt water). I arrived at the Children's Hospital with my mother and held her hand tightly as I was taken up to the ward. My mother handed me over to the nurses and she was asked to leave. I remember clutching my teddy bear tightly as I cried when she turned and walked out of the ward. The nurse told me that I was to have a bath. I protested that my mother had just given me a bath, but to no avail. She told me that it was ward policy that all children had to have a bath before being put to bed. I should add that this was England in the early fifties and many of the children arriving at the hospital were dirty because many homes didn't have a bath with many not even having an inside tap.

I was taken to the large bathroom which was also the sluice room. In one corner was the bedpan steriliser which hissed with steam and beside it on the wall was a rack with the bedpans and urinals hung up to dry. I remember being frightened by this strange place and was missing my mother. The nurse told me to remove all my clothes and put them on a chair. She started to run the bath. It was a huge white cast iron bath standing on four legs on the red tiled floor. The taps were the globe type with green streaks down the side of the bath. As the water ran into the bath, the nurse put on a green rubber apron which covered her uniform.

She picked me up and placed me in the bath. She picked up a sponge and started to wash me from my head and hair downwards. I was told to stand with my legs apart as she washed there and then proceeded to rinse me off with a jug. She pulled the plug out of the bath and picked up a large white fluffy towel. She lifted me out of the bath and stood me on the floor whilst she sat down on a chair by the bath. Wrapping the towel round me, she started to dry me. I remember the smell of her rubber apron and the feel of the rough towel as she dried me. I was helped into a pair of pyjamas and, picking up my clothes in one hand and holding my hand in the other, she led me to my bed and I was put into bed with the cot sides pulled up. The bed was a large child's hospital bed with the cot sides. The sheets were linen and a red rubber sheet covered the mattress. On the bottom sheet was a draw sheet with the edge of the red rubber waterproof drawsheet sticking out of the top edge. As I lay back on the pillows, they felt hard and strange, smelling strongly of rubber. I remember feeling inside the pillowcase to find that the pillows too were in rubber covers.

The nurse showed me the urinal beside my bed on a shelf on the locker and explained how I was to use it. In those days, children were expected to stay in bed and to be quiet - so different today! The ward was mixed - boys and girls.

That night, the nurses came round with drinks and we were all given a milky drink. Half an hour later, the nurses came round and insisted that we all tried to pass urine. Screens were drawn around the girls and the boys were told to use their urinals. A trolley was wheeled round the ward a few minutes later by two nurses to collect the bedpans and urinals, leaving empty ones on each locker for that night. When they got to me, I handed over the urinal and the nurse who took it commented that it was very light. She shook it and told me that it was empty. I insisted that I'd only managed to pass a few drops and that was all I could pass. The other nurse pulled the curtains around my bed whilst the first nurse pulled the covers down. My ankles were grabbed and lifted in the air so that my bottom was clear of the drawsheet. The nurse reached onto the bottom of the trolley and picked out a white terry towelling nappy (diaper) which she pushed under my bottom. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out two nappy pins and expertly fastened the nappy in place. The other nurse reached down to the bottom of the trolley and pulled out a pair of rubber pants which she worked over my feet and down around my bottom. "If you're not going to co-operate," she said, "You'll have to wear a nappy overnight. We don't want you being a big baby and wetting the bed, do we?" I had been dry at night for longer than I could remember and the bulky nappy between my legs with the cool rubber pants against my thighs felt strange, yet familiar. One of the nurses pulled the covers over me and said, "Sleep well', as the other nurse pulled open the curtains.

A few minutes later and the nurses had finished. One wheeled the trolley to the sluice room and the other turned the lights out, saying, Good night, children. Sleep well." She then sat at the desk in the middle of the ward with a small reading light and got out her knitting. I rolled over, feeling the bulk of the nappy and the pants between my thighs. My bottom had started to get warm from the enclosing pants and nappy and my thighs were beginning to get wet from sweating against the rubber pants. I decided that it was a comforting feeling and settled down to sleep.

In the middle of the night I awoke, needing to pass urine. I sat up and looked around, knowing that I wasn't at home, but not sure where I was. A glance showed me that I was in hospital. Fortunately the two nurses at the desk were looking the other way and didn't see me awake. I confess that I was rather in awe of their blue uniforms, white starched aprons and white caps. I felt the bulk of the nappy between my legs and, being afraid of asking or disturbing the nurses, decided that I may as well use the nappy for its intended purpose. I relaxed and let the urine flow out into the nappy. I felt the warmth spread out over the front of the nappy and between my legs. I put my hand between my legs on top of the rubber pants and pulled the pants and nappy closer between my legs. Putting my left thumb in my mouth, and feeling like a baby, but comforted by that feeling, I went back to sleep. The nurses woke me the next morning as they clattered round the ward giving urinals and bedpans to those who weren't in nappies. I wanted to pass urine again, so just relaxed and let it flood out into my nappy. The nurses then brought bowls round for the children to wash. The older children were allowed to wash themselves, but the younger children, like myself, were washed by the nurses.

Eventually, two nurses arrived at the foot of my bed with a trolley piled high with towels and a bowl of water. One nurse was wearing a green rubber apron and the other was wearing a white one. Both were wearing rubber gloves. The curtains were pulled around my bed and the covers off me. Again my ankles were grabbed so that my buttocks were lifted clear of the drawsheet. My rubber pants were pulled off my nappy and up to my knees. The nappy was unpinned by the other nurse and dropped in a bucket on the trolley. "It's a good job this one was in nappies last night, "said the nurse who had unpinned the nappy, "He's wet through." Whilst my ankles were still in the air, a towel was placed under my buttock and the nurse who had removed my nappy proceeded to wash my bottom. I was then lowered onto the towel and the rubber pants removed and dropped into another bucket on the trolley. My legs were washed and then, taking a clean cloth, my face, arms and body were washed too. A vigorous towelling dry followed, with the nurses' starched aprons crackling as they moved. My pyjama bottoms were put on me and I was covered over again. The nurses pulled back the curtains and went on to the next child.

A short while later, a trolley with bowls, plates and mugs was wheeled round. Each child was asked what they wanted for breakfast. When the trolley was wheeled past me and I wasn't asked what I wanted, I asked the nurse who had the trolley why I couldn't have breakfast. "You're going to theatre this morning for your operation so you can't have anything to eat or drink in case you're sick, " she told me. I noticed that some of the other children were also not allowed to eat or drink either. Watching the others eating and drinking made me feel both hungry and thirsty, but I decided that I'd better not argue.

Shortly after breakfast, two nurses went out of the ward and came back with a trolley which had hospital gowns, rubber caps, rubber pants and nappies on, together with urinals and bedpans. Firstly the nurses went to the older children and gave them a bedpan or urinal, depending on sex and whether the child asked to pass stool, drawing curtains around those who wanted a bedpan. Whilst the older children were 'performing', the nurses came to each younger child for theatre and pulled the curtains around the bed. I was curious to find out what was happened behind the curtains as this was my first time in hospital. When it was my turn, the covers were pulled off me and I was told to remove my pyjamas. One of the nurses helped me and then I lay down, stark naked on the bed. My ankles were grabbed again and my legs were raised so that my buttocks were clear of the drawsheet. It is a most undignified position, except that I was too young to actually use words like that. It just felt embarrassing. A thick nappy was placed under my buttocks and pinned into place. Rubber pants shortly followed. I was told that it was all right to use my nappy. Every young child going to theatre that day would have a nappy, I was informed, and It wouldn't be in trouble for using it. I wanted to pass stool and told the nurse. She said, "Don't worry. That's what your nappy is for!" She picked up a green rubber cap, like a shower cap, and pulled it on over my head, covering my eyes. She laughed as she did so, and then I indignantly pulled it off my eyes. "It's to keep the hair out of your face when you're in theatre," she said. I was given an injection and told that it was to make me feel drowsy and that my mouth would feel dry. The injection was given into my thigh and it hurt as she put the needle in and pressed the plunger. I was told to lie quietly, not to worry and to relax. The curtains were left closed.

I didn't feel at all drowsy but my mouth did feel really dry. A short while later there was the clatter of a trolley wheeled into the ward. My curtains were pulled back and I was lifted out of bed by a man in green jacket and trousers to be placed on a trolley with the other children to go to theatre. The older children were wearing the rubber caps and gowns, but the younger children just had nappies which ballooned around our bottoms and rubber pants. The chromed side rails were up on the trolley to stop us falling off and there were six of us sitting cross-legged on the trolley. A nurse came with us to help the man wheel us out of the ward and to the lift. We were on the top floor and the wooden lined lift slowly lowered us to the ground floor. Once out of the lift, a cold draught hit us and I was quickly covered in goose-pimples. Wheeled around the corner from the lift, I realised why there was a draught. We were being wheeled across the main out-patients hall as the theatres were on the other side of the hall from the lift to the wards. I felt very embarrassed to be sitting on the trolley in just rubber pants, nappy and cap.

We were wheeled though double doors into a waiting area with chairs, toys and comics. The man lifted each of us down and placed us in a chair. A nurse, dressing in green gown, mask and cap, came in to speak to us. She removed her mask and explained that we were to wait there until it was time for our operations. Another nurse, dressing in green gown only on top of her uniform, said that she would stay with us and that we could play with the toys or read the comics. The first nurse left and came back with a clip board. By now, I was desperate to have a bowel movement, but I was trying hard not to mess my nappy. She called my name and I felt very, very scared. I didn't know what was going to happen to me. In those days in England, children were not given explanations or supported as they are now.

My mouth was dry, both from my fear and the injection as I acknowledged my name and stood up. "Don't worry," she said. "You'll be all right. Just come with me." She held out her hand and I grabbed it. She led me out of the room, along a short corridor and into the theatre. It was terrifying with the bright light overhead, sun streaming through a white glass window and all those strange people in masks, gowns and gloves. In the middle of the room, under the light, was a table, gleaming chrome below and black rubber topped. At one end was a strange device with cylinders, glass bottles and tubing. Of course, I know now that it was the anaesthetic machine. The nurse who had led me in told me to let go and that she would lift me onto the table. I did as I was told, too terrified to struggle or to argue. "Lie back," she said and I complied. I felt the cold rubber surface pressing against my back.

I looked up at the light and saw the people moving around me. A voice from above my head said, "I'm going to put a mask over your face and give you some gas to breathe to make you go to sleep. Just try to relax and take deep breaths."

I remember the mask vividly. It was circular with a thick rim, made of red rubber with a black corrugated rubber hose which was connected to the machine.

The mask covered the whole of my face; my nose, mouth and eyes. It smelt sickly and there was a hissing noise. I was bursting to pass stool and holding back as best I could.

"Breathe deeply now", said the voice and the sickly smell became even stronger. I was aware of beginning to black out and felt my bottom relax and the stool started to fill my nappy.

I awoke on my side on a trolley being wheeled back to the ward. I was in the lift with a nurse, wearing a white rubber apron pressed close to my face as she held a vomit bowl under my mouth.

I had already partly filled it and, awaking, I retched hard into the bowl. The lift stopped and the trolley was wheeled out of the lift. The nurse stopped and wiped my face clean. She stroked her hand gently on my cheek.

"Don't worry. It's all over now. You'll feel better soon." I was then wheel into the ward and lifted into bed. The curtains were pulled round as I retched again and again from the movement. The curtains were opened and a trolley was wheeled in. Two other nurses, also in a rubber aprons, came in with the trolley, the last one pulling the curtain closed behind her. The nurse who fetched me from theatre wiped my face again and pulled my face against her apron, stroking my face and telling me not to worry. I felt sick as a dog, but I was comforted by her stroking, her voice and the feel of the rubber against my face. My ankles were grabbed again and raised. I vomited again, over her apron and started to apologise. "It's not your fault.

The anaesthetic affects some children like that," she said. The rubber pants were lifted of my bottom and pulled up to my knees. The other nurse who came with the trolley removed the nappy and commented, "He's filled his nappy. I thought that it wasn't just the smell of sick." She wiped my bottom clean, saying, "We'd better leave him in nappies." She put two clean thick nappies under me and pinned them on. She then pulled the rubber pants back around the nappy and made sure that the pants covered all of the nappies. My legs were pushed well apart by the bulk between my thighs. As I was lowered onto the bed, I vomited again, all over the pillows, sheet and down my front. One of the nurses went to get a bowl and towel and I was gently washed clean and the bed changed. My pyjama top was put on, the rubber cap removed and I was laid back gently against the clean sheets.

The nurse who brought me up from theatre stayed with me until my mother came. When she came in, she burst into tears. She told me when I was older that all the other children had recovered and that I was the only one being sick. While she was there, I vomited again all over the clean sheets, pillows and pyjama top. My hair was plastered back with the thin brown bile. My mother went for a nurse and one came back to see the state I was in. She went to get towel, bowl, and clean sheets for me. She took my soiled top off and, with the help of another nurse, I was washed, including my hair, and dried. The nurse said, "I'm going to put a rubber cap back on as we don't want you being sick in your hair again and I'm going to put a bib on you." She did just that. The rubber cap was placed on my head and the rubber bib tied round my neck and behind my back to keep it in place. The rubber was cold against the skin of my chest. When my mother went home, a nurse sat with me all night. At first she held the bowl for me to be sick, but later she encouraged me with sips of water, in between giving me the bowl when I brought it back up again. I felt wretched, but I loved the touch of her as she cared for me and the smell of the rubber was in my nostrils. The rubber cap began to make my head sweat, my thighs were wet with sweat from the nappy and rubber pants and I was hot and sweaty from being sick.

The next morning, all the other children who had had the same operation were up and allowed to go to the play room after they had eaten their breakfast. I was just about keeping water down and during the course of the day, I was encouraged to drink more and more fluids. I felt full to bursting and told the nurse that I needed to go to the toilet. "Could I have a bottle, please?" I asked. "You aren't allowed to use a urinal at the moment and we don't want you to move around too much and be sick.. Just let it go into your nappy" I found that I couldn't with her sitting there and said so. She laughed gently and said," Just relax Don't worry. I'll not shout at you for wetting your nappy." With that she stroked by abdomen gently and I felt myself relaxing and a hot stream of urine spread inside my nappy.

She went away and came back with a baby bottle filled with water. Lowering the cot side to the bed, she gently lifted me up, sat on the bed and put my head in her lap. I laid on my back with my head resting against her rubber apron and the smell of the rubber in my nose. She put the teat of the bottle between my lips and told me to relax and suck. I did so, and gradually drifted off to sleep before I'd emptied the bottle. I woke later with her still cradling my head in her lap. I felt the warmth of my, by now, very wet nappy, the touch of the rubber apron against my cheek, the sweat in my hair form the rubber cap which I was still wearing and sweaty from the rubber bib. It all felt wonderful.

During my stay in hospital, it was decided that I should stay in nappies all the time and my mother was advised to put me in nappies at night for a while again when I went home. I really began to enjoy wearing the nappy and rubber pants, as well as the feeling of being changed by the nurses. When I go home, I was in trouble from my mother who didn't want to be fussed with a four year old back in nappies. I was told, very firmly, that I would be spanked if I wet the bed, so I was careful not to, getting up every hour to go tot the toilet the first few nights to ensure that I didn't get into trouble.

About a year later, I was back in the hospital for another 'nose wash'. When I arrived at hospital, I was bathed again and taken into the main ward. There I was taken to my bed and the curtains pulled round. The nurse explained that, because of the trouble I'd had last time, the nurses had decided to put me in nappies whilst I was in hospital. I didn't mind in the slightest!

As an adult, I was admitted to hospital for colonoscopy and had to have my bowels cleaned out first. I was given 4 litres of KleanPrep to drink and warned that I would have very urgent watery stools. After the first litre, I noticed a wet patch on my pyjamas - I was leaking from my penis. I called for a nurse and explained the problem. She got the sister to have a word with me. "We've never had that as a side effect before: the major problems are usually colic or a runny nose. Still, I'll get you a gown and a nappy. A couple of minutes later, she came back with a clean gown and something wrapped in it. Pulling the curtains around my bed, she told me to take my pyjamas off and to stand beside the bed. As I did this, she unwrapped her bundle and exposed a disposable nappy pad, adult sized and a pair of plastic pants. She asked me to pull the pants up to my knees and to stop there. When I had the pants up to my knees, she placed the nappy into the pants and guided it into place as I pulled the pants all the way up.

"I've given you a nappy and plastic pants so that you can get them off quickly when you need to go.," she told me. About half an hour later, I felt the urge to go to the toilet and got up quickly from the chair beside my bed. I started to waddle with the plastic pants and diaper between my legs to the toilet on the other side of the ward. Unfortunately, about half way across, I couldn't hold it any more - neither could the diaper. I down my legs and leaked all over the floor. The nurses came rushing over to help as I apologised profusely. I was told not to worry and escorted to the shower where I was helped to wash the mess off. The sister came into the shower and said, "Don't worry -that is a fairly regular problem. However, if it's happened once, it will probably happen again. I'm going to put you in the all-in-one diapers. When you need to go, just let it go and we'll change you every hour until you're washed through." With that, the sister and nurse towelled me dry and they put me in the diaper and fastened the adhesive tapes. I was given a clean gown and led back to my bed. A plastic sheet had been put on the chair with an inco pad. During the next few hours, I proceeded to both wet and soil my diapers with two nurses changing me every hour. It was just like my childhood!

I love wearing a nappy and rubber pants, preferably cared for by a nurse. Being in hospital and having anaesthetics brings back the feelings of comfort and care from my first time in hospital. I've got a diagnosed bowel problem which require me to wear nappies at night following medical problems. Aren't I the lucky one?