Elian and I were not talked out yet and it was time for undisturbed conversation so after giving him his bottle we returned to the kitchen. Elian took out a bottle of B&B that she had been saving and I started a pot of coffee even though it was going to keep me up, it seemed like the thing to do. Two small snifter glasses with one ice cube each and the sound of the uncorking was a perfect was to end the day.

We talked about our jobs for a while and the bosses that were typical bosses and then the conversation turned to Adam again.

“You know Beth, all we really did today, was to give Adam his trip to Disney World in another way! Adam, like Jeffery, has some unfinished business back in his toddler years and we helped him go back there if only for a couple of days.”

“Yes Elian, I know that you mean well and you certainly have the experience with Jeffery, but what happens if he wants to stay back there?”

“Trust me, he knows that he is ten plus years old! I bet he’s doing better in school since he back in night time diapers? When Jeffery started back in diapers, I like you, was confused about his intensions. Was he doing it on purpose or was it a medical condition, I just had to know. It drove me crazy at first, what was wrong with my son? As time went by, though, I watched as he became more affectionate and caring towards every one in his life. His school work improved, his social skills improved and I had to ask myself if the answer was so terribly important, almost the same way that a parent of a gay child struggles with the “how and the why.” You just have to love them for whom they are and become and to be thankful that they didn’t go towards drugs and other self destructive behaviors. Let me tell you the story of some of my diapering experiences with Jeffery and I thing that you will understand!

“I want to understand this thing with diapers but I just can’t seem to get my head around it!”

“Once upon a time, I think is the best way to start this. It happened to me, just like it happened to you. I kept it hush, hush and life went on. Jeffery changed when I stopped putting up a stink about it; our mother son relationship grew stronger as I accepted his need for diapers and the attention that came with them. Every thing changed although, when one day when he was about ten and a half, he decided to go to school diapered. The little stinker chose to wear a thicker diaper and a pair of his larger night time baby pants under a pair of jeans that were too small to start out with. Unknown to me, as I had gone to work that day, he went diapered to school. Apparently his teach noticed his larger than life baby pants exposed and coming out the back of his to short jeans. She just tucked them in and never called me, and by the time that I got home Jeffery had changed out of them and put on the diapers that he normally wears after school. About a week latter, around six thirty at night, the doorbell sounds and I tell Jeffery to wait in the room because he only has a diaper, printed baby pants, and t-shirt on. Guess who’s at the door? A case worker from Child Protection Services! I turned white as she asked if Jeffery was home. You know that you can’t just tell these people to go away; if you do they’ll be back with a warrant in ten minutes. So I asked her what this was about. She said that they had a report that I was abusing Jeffery. At this point I knew that it was serious and all I could think of was that I would lose Jeffery. I allowed her in and called out to Jeffery. When he appeared through the door of his room dressed in a t-shirt and his printed baby pants I thought I was done. She had an “I thought so” look on her face when Jeffery appeared. He asked what I wanted and the lady introduced herself and asked Jeffery if he wouldn’t mind talking to her.

“Hi there young man, my name is Jenny and I came here especially to see you tonight! Can we go and have a talk in your room Jeffery?”

“Is it ok Mom?

“Yes dear, you two can go and have a talk and make sure Jeffery that you answer any questions that she asks! I’ll be right here, Ok!”

She told him that he wasn’t in trouble and not to be nervus. She then turned to me and asked if it would be ok to talk to Jeffery privately and if she could see his room. I started to pace in the kitchen as they disappeared back to his bed room. There was silence for the longest time and I could hear his bureau drawers opening and closing and the same thing with his closet door. To my surprise, all of a sudden, there was laughter and giggling. What was she doing to him, I could not understand it! Well moments seemed like hours as I wore out the floor. The door opened and a much happier Jenny appeared.

“Well this is going to be a lot easer than I thought! He really loves you, you know, and I am sure you love him. What is going on here is a bit strange and I have never experienced it before but I have heard of it. For me it makes no sense, but that’s me and what we look for is abuse and you are not abusing Jeffery. Have you taken him to the doctor? How did it start?”

“Yes every year and sooner if he has anything out of the norm, it started with bedwetting and grew from there.”

“But why the cloth diapers and baby pants. I can get you some assistance if you can’t afford disposables”

“I am a single Mom and I started making his diapers because of his size and the disposables were just too expensive. We keep his problem under the wraps so to speak for about two years now. During that time he slowly increased the amount of time that he wanted to be diapered. At the same time his attitude improved and his school work is up to date and always improving. The issues that he was having with his teachers evaporated as the time that he spent in diapers increased. You have to look at it the way I did, one extra load of wash every week and a very pleasing child verus a real demon and two calls from his teacher every week along with missed time at work for me. Believe me it was an easy decision to make and as a bonus, our relationship has grown into some thing very special.”

“I see! But the real problem is the cloth diapers, people believe that they are a form of torture or harsh discipline and that is why they reported you. The best solution is to use disposables when you are out with him or if he has to be in diapers at school. I will add a note to his file that they are necessary for medical reasons and leave it at that. I am also required to return unannounced in two or three weeks to see how he is doing and I’ll have to interview his teachers again. I know that you are a loving Mom; you can feel the love in your relationship when you walk in the door. I just need to understand it from a different perspective. What happens to Jeffery when he gets older, how does he relate to his peers? If I had to explain what I have seen here tonight what would I say? The world needs and works on the idea of justification and verification; it is the way it is. Thank you for inviting me into your lives, I am here to learn.”

And that was about it, she left and not without saying her goodbyes to Jeffery. I changed him into his night time diaper, asking him in a low key manner, what she had asked him. He told me that she was a good listener and that she asked why that he was still in diapers. He said that he told her that he felt better when he had diapers on and that sometime he wet them without knowing and sometimes he knew. Saying also, that she was interested in his cloth diapers and baby pants and how he had showed her all his special clothes. He said Jenny called them waterproof plastic pants! Jeffery went to sleep and I tried to recover from the trematic experience that had happened. I started to think about the “what if”, what if she would have taken Jeffery away. I didn’t want to go there!

“Every thing went along normally except that I was asked by his teacher if I was sure that the doctors couldn’t help Jeffery with the wetting problem! I just told them that he was a work in progress and that I didn’t want to use drugs on him at this point. About a week after the meeting when I came home after work, I found a big cardboard box in the hall. Jeffery was already home and playing on the living room floor. I asked him about the box and he said that the school bus driver of the handicapped school dropped it off. I looked at the box more carefully and it was a case of Attends youth sized disposable diapers. Apparently you can only buy them by the case and the school arranges to deliver them with the children. If you are on social assistance the government pays for them. It’s because they don’t allow any cloth diapers at the special schools, just to much hassle keeping them sorted out and for many children in special ed, potty training takes up most of the day.”

“Was it Jenny that sent the diapers? How did you feel about his teacher after they reported you? I guess that there is a silent youth population that goes to bed diapered every night.”

“After years of experiencing diaper prejudice with Jeffery I understand the thinking behind it. Yes, Jenny was the one who sent me the more socially acceptable diapers, that didn’t mean that Jeffery liked them, but he understood that he had to wear them at curtain times. As for his teachers reporting me, well they were only doing what they thought was right and I applaud them for that. Its one thing that they don’t teach in teachers collage, how to deal with a diapered child.”

I put myself in her shoes and wondered if I would have reacted the same way. She was a single Mom and this happened to her at a time that single Mom’s weren’t the norm.

“Two and a half weeks went by and Jenny showed up again, asking how I was getting along with Jeffery? I told her “fine” and thanked her for the diapers. She wanted to see the difference of them compared to a cloth diaper. Jeffery was home and I called him to come out and see jenny. He had on a long stripped t-shirt that covered the top of his baby blue baby pants and some white ankle socks. His diaper was in need of a change by the way it sagged and he waddled as he walked. I asked him if we, me and Jenny, could change him into a disposable diaper so that Jenny could see the difference. His only words were “ok, I guess” and then after a little thinking “do I have too.” “Yes dear” was my response and then being all excited about showing someone else how I diaper Jeffery I took Jenny’s hand and lead her to his bedroom. First I showed her where I keep all his special things, lotions, creams and then his diapers. She sifted through all my cloth diaper designs asking why so many styles? I told her that from the experience of diapering Jeffery that the same diaper just didn’t work all the time. I told her to be careful when putting powder on the inside of the disposable because the tapes wouldn’t stick if she got powder on the outside of it. Jeffery walked up to her and said “Aren’t you going to pull my baby pants down and unpin my diaper before I get on the change pad, Jenny?”

Jenny blushed a color of red that I can not describe. Then she asked if that is how I change him.

“Is that how you change him Elian?”

“Yes, it is easier if you get the wet one off first standing and then wipe him off before he gets on the change pad.”

“If it’s ok with you for me to help out, then fine, I need the experience.”

“Yes I want you to see for yourself how the diapering goes and how Jeffery likes it done.”

With the permission granted, Jenny proceeded to pull down Jefferies baby pants first pulling the waist band out and over the bulky diaper and then down to his hips.

“He’s got a puddle of pee in the crotch of the baby pants Elian!” She said.

I told her to pull the pants back up and gently rinse the crotch on the pant so that the diaper would absorb his puddle of pee. She did as I requested and Jeffery opened his legs helping her do it. I told her that it was only pee and it wouldn’t hurt her. Jeffery, not used to a novice, looked perturbed by the situation and asked me if I could change him and just let Jenny watch. I told him that Jenny needed to learn by doing just the same way he did in school. I guess that the pee in his diaper was still warm by the expression on Jenny’s face and she said;

“I think he must have just wet! I hope you don’t mind me changing you Jeffery; I am a bit out of practice! My, your diaper is wet!”

The second attempt with the baby pants went better as she pulled them down to his ankles and the releasing his wet diaper by unpinning it and letting it drop into his baby pants now on the floor. The smell of fresh pee waffled in the air. I went to the bathroom and ran some warm water, in a bowl with a soaped up wash cloth and returned to the room, saying it was best if she would wash him standing there before he got on the change matt. Jeffery cooperated and she was able to do a good cleaning except for one thing that happened. When she started the cleaning with the warm water and touched curtain places, Jeffery let out a little spurt of pee. It surprised her and she wasn’t ready for it. I know what to expect and always have something ready to cover him with when it happens. When she finished he stepped out of the baby pants on the floor and crawled up on the center of the matt and raised and opened his legs so she could slip the new disposable diaper under him. It was strange for me to watch as Jenny applied a coating of shinny Vaseline to his bum and then dusted him with powder. As he dropped his legs she picked up the baby oil bottle and squeezed out some on his tummy and his now very excited thing. I could tell that she was enjoying his excitement as much as he was, taking her time, making sure that all his area’s were covered. Jenny lifted the front of the diaper while pocking in the leg bands at his crotch.

She held the diaper flat on his tummy and let her fingers stretch out the sides as she pulled the tapes tight and fastened them. There was a very pronounced bulge in the front of the diaper when she was finished. She asked Jeffery to get up and walk around so she could see how they fit. I watched as he modeled them for her. She said “don’t they fit good Elian!” And I replied “Give him a couple of minutes in them and in the meantime have him bend over your knee.”

“You don’t want me to spank him do you?”

“No! Just have a look at how the back opens when he bends over and look at how much coverage that they have at the sides. If he slept in those tonight I would have to put the baby pants back on him. Now feel inside his diaper. I bet it will feel a lot hotter than he did when he had the cloth diaper on.”

“Yes your right, they don’t seem to fit him well at all. Do you want me to put the baby pants on him just in case?”

“No, I think the best thing that we can do now is to take it off and I’ll let you try a cloth diaper on him and I think you’ll see what I mean when I say that they are the best for night time.”

Jeffery was happy to get out of the disposable and Jenny was more relaxed as she pulled the tapes and released him from the offending garment. She reached up and tickled him tummy as she pulled the top of the disposable diaper down between his legs. He laughed as he lifted and widened his knee’s allowing the diaper to spring lose.

“Now we have to diaper you all over again Jeffery”

I found him one of his favorite night time cloth diapers, the one that had the bunny rabbits on the front with a baby blue soft lining. He liked wearing them with his light yellow baby pants over the top of them. The bunny rabbits would come out and play the more he wet and in the morning he would pull the baby pants tight against the cloth diaper and you could see them all as clear as day. Jenny was starting to like the diapering idea. You could tell by the way she took her time the second time around and how Jeffery was reacting to her touch.

“In order to get these on you the right way Jeffery, we’ll just have to start from the beginning if you don’t mind?”

She went though the diaper motions again but this time there was pinning to do and Jeffery looked a little nervus as she picked them up and told him not to move. I stepped in and showed her how to hold the material together and then slip the pin through and snap it closed. It was the first time that she had put the baby pants on him and I think she enjoyed the feel of the soft freshly powdered vinyl as she slipped them over his feet and ankles. For her it was just like wrapping her hand made creation. She took her time pulling up each side of the pants separately, easing them up and around his legs and taking great pleasure snapping the elastic waist in to place as she pulled it out widely to get the pants on over the diaper.

“There, all done, not so bad for a diapering novas!”

I gave her Jeffery’s night shirt to slip on over his head and she did. The night shirt was a one piece shirt that came down to just above his knees and covered up most of his diapers and pants leaving a yellow patch of the vinyl showing between his legs. With the shirt on it was much easier to change him if I had too. I just raised his but up enough so that I could slide the shirt up and the change matt under him and then pull his baby pants down with out making a mess. He hardly ever woke up and when he did, it was to ask for a drink. I had added some gentle elastic to the short sleeves and that made them puff out like a girl’s blouse. He didn’t mind and I liked the way the night shirt fit him after.

Jenny told me that after trying both diaper types on Jeffery she knew why the cloth diapers were better. After Jeffery was diapered we went to the kitchen and I served her a coffee and some chocolate brownies. Jeffery came out of his room and placed him self standing at the table right between Jenny’s legs as she sat there having her coffee. He was playing with a model car and letting himself brush his diapered bottom against her every time that she stopped paying attention to him. She did a little exploring on her own with her free hand. She felt and squeezed the yellow vinyl pants letting her fingers test the tension on the leg closure elastics. Jenny remarked that the soft vinyl baby pants must be comfortable to wear. Jeffery warmed her hand with a small wetting as he stood there. I told him that it was time for him to be in bed dreaming about something or other and that he should say his goodnights to Jenny.

He asked her to tuck him in before she left. He planted a big kiss on her cheek and told her that he liked her a lot. She was quite taken back by all this affection and you could tell that this had been a special time for her. The blanket in place and the stuffed toy found, Jeffery finally let his eyes close. I, to said my goodnights to her and she told me not to worry about her report. I was thank full for that and asked her to visit anytime she wished, no appointment was necessary, and Jeffery and I would like to see her again.

Beth, I knew by the way that she looked at Jeffery that she would be back but I didn’t expect her to recommend me to other mothers, struggling with diapering older children. Well I think I will leave the rest of the story for tomorrow or we will never get any sleep! 😃 😃