My first and only prior experience with gynecological exams was when I was thirteen. My mother had sent me to her G.P. for a routine physical, a male doctor named Dr. Chandler who went to school at a Veterinary College I'm sure. His attempt to examine my virginal vagina never went far before I let out a blood curdling scream of pain as he nearly ruptured my hymen with his finger. Afterwards I swore I would never let a doctor do that again and managed to avoid taking my pants off in a doctors office for a number of years following.

When I was sixteen I gave up my virginity to a man who would later become my husband and having regular sex, I knew I should do something more reliable than condoms for birth control. I didn't have a regular doctor so I made an appointment at a Family Practice Clinic in the shopping center where I worked. Again a male doctor, who did nothing to make me feel comfortable. I managed to convince him we could postpone any form of exam until another visit and he gave me two months of pills for a free trial. There was no way I was going back to him and decided that maybe a female doctor would be a better choice if I had to do this with regular frequency.

Finding one of the few female family doctors who was taking new patients was a difficult task that took almost as long as my pill supply lasted. Finally I found one who had recently moved to the area and made an appointment. That first visit was a hassle right from the minute her nurse called me into the examining room. She pulled down new table paper, put a fresh sheet on the table and without even asking WHY I was there, told me to get completely undressed.

I objected that "I just wanted to talk to the doctor", to which she replied, "OK, so get undressed… she'll talk to you in a few minutes." After a big argument where I firmly refused, she left and I waited with my clothes on.

When the doctor came in, I told her that I had been on the pill for two months and wanted to continue. She asked me what type of pill it was and I showed her the package, she said it was a new mini-pill and talked about how it worked. I was feeling a bit more comfortable than with the previous doctor because at least she explained things which he didn't bother with.

After we talked for a few minutes, she said, "Get undressed and let's check you over." Driven by absolute terror, I came up with every excuse I could and finally managed to convince her that the doctor who started me on the pill did a full exam just a month or so before, and everything was fine so I didn't need another so soon. She asked me if he did a pap test - with complete horror I told her, "Yes he did!". She did a breast exam anyways, telling me to lift my top and undo my bra, then I laid back while she reached up under my sweater to check them. Once she was done, she told me to sit up and after taking my blood pressure and listening to my heart, she let me off the hook with prescription for another eight months – what a relief! Except that she made it very clear that the next time she was going to check everything including doing a pap smear.

When the eight months ran out, I dreaded that I now had to go back and wondered what kind of hassle I was going to get, particularly since she pretty well gave me a guarantee of what was going to happen. When I made the appointment, the receptionist knew I was getting my prescription renewed and insisted I had an early morning appointment in spite of me asking for something in the afternoon.

I was so nervous the day of the appointment that I didn't want to go through with it. I knew I had been lucky so far but now couldn't possibly avoid getting checked this time. Worried that it would be embarrassing if I wasn't spotlessly clean, I had shaved my legs right to the top, done a bikini shave and trimmed any excess hair, then took a bath with lots of soap. Since it was mid-summer and I thought practical when I got dressed, I had exactly four things on – loose floppy top, white panties, white jeans, and slip-on clogs. When I got to the doctor's office, I seemed to be the first patient of the day since the waiting room was empty. The receptionist told me the doctor was late doing hospital rounds but to have a seat and wait, although she didn't know how long the doctor was going to be. Just long enough to make me so uptight I was ready to bolt out the door!

Over the period of twenty minutes or so, three or four other people had arrived and the waiting room started to fill up. Finally the doctor must have come in and the nurse called my name first. She took me back to an exam room and said casually, "You'll need to empty your bladder anyway so let's get a urine sample first." She gave me a plastic cup and sent me into the bathroom which was right across the hall, telling me that when I was done to go back into the examining room and sit on the table.

When I went back in, I immediately noticed that the stirrups which must have been tucked away under the table earlier, were now fully extended, gleaming with a medieval splendor. The pillow which had been at the top earlier, was moved about three quarters of the way up instead and there was fresh table paper pulled down with a folded white sheet or something in the middle. Obvious intentions or what! Since I was feeling extremely tensed up, I decided that if I sat on the chair instead of the table I was sort of further away from the action.

There was a knock on the open door a minute later and the nurse came in. She asked me to take off my shoes and stand on the scale which was in the corner of the room. I had bare feet in my clogs so it only took a second to step out of my shoes and onto the scale. After she weighed me, she told me to sit on the table and went over to the sink to wash a thermometer. Once she put it in my mouth she asked me to pull up my sleeve so she could check my blood pressure.

When she finished squishing my arm, she checked my pulse then took the thermometer and went back to the counter. I had barely started to relax a bit while she wrote everything in my chart until she said, "Now I'll need to ask you to get undressed, the doctor will want to see everything so you'll need to get completely undressed okay? There's a sheet for you to cover with. You can sit or lie on the table, whichever you prefer - the doctor should be in shortly."

I tried to protest that I would like to talk to the doctor first but then had a major panic attack as she said, "I just asked her! She said she wants you to get completely undressed. You're due for a pap test anyway so she said she wants to check everything over and give you a complete physical." I was already scared enough before she confirmed that I was stuck and there was nothing I could do, but worse yet was her telling me I was getting not only a Pap test but a complete physical too… JUST GREAT!!!

I was wearing jeans with just panties underneath, so it took only a matter of seconds to get naked from the waist down. As I felt a chill against my bare skin, my stomach twisted in knots knowing that I would be covered with a sheet but all the important parts would be very accessible underneath. I was wearing a floppy top and when I got dressed I had decided not to wear a bra since I expected she was going to check my boobs anyway. I thought I would just lift up my top like last time for her to do a breast exam and listen to my heart, hopefully being able to keep my top on for a bit of security. I sat on the edge of the table and the cold feeling of the table paper under my butt made me even more uptight.

As I sat there I thought about how I avoided things at the clinic and the first time here, but this time I wasn't going to be so lucky. This was the first time since Dr. Chandler that I was undressed waist down and my heart was racing knowing that I was about to get my first real pelvic exam and there was absolutely no way I would be able to avoid it.

Quite a while later - after I had more than enough time to get more uptight, the doctor came in and asked me several questions about how I was feeling that day, questions about my most recent period and how the pill was working, and did I have any other problems. I told her I was concerned about my varicose veins which were getting very noticeable and she lifted the sheet to one side and looked at the back of my legs. After we talked for a minute she said that there nothing much to do about them due to my job, except to elevate my legs at night and maybe wear support stockings.

I had sort of relaxed a little bit by then, but my blood pressure started climbing when she said, "Let's have a look at you. Take off your top please." Since I wasn't wearing a bra, as soon as I pulled my top off I was completely naked except for the sheet covering me waist down - exactly what I had wanted to avoid. Even worse was that as I stretched my arms up to take my top off, the stupid sheet started sliding down my thighs which left my twat hair fully exposed. I could have died until I grabbed the sheet and pulled it up to my waist again. I debated if I should pull it up to cover my boobs, but by that point she was standing right in front of me and they had been showing anyways, so I crossed my hands in my lap and tried to look like I wasn't embarrassed to death.

She began the exam by looking at my ears, eyes, throat and feeling the glands in my neck, all the while with my top half fully exposed. As the room was a little chilly, my nipples went rock hard and were sticking straight out. I thought I would die of embarrassment from having my boobs showing and my nipples standing right up. I was sitting on the side of the table facing across to the counter while she did everything up to that point, then she pushed in the foot extension and told me to turn and sit at the end of the table instead. I had to pick my legs up to swing over the outside stirrup then had a shiver as I realized I was sitting right inside of them. She put on her stethoscope and then placed the cold metal against my chest as she listened to my heart. She then placed it on my back and asked me to breathe deeply as she tapped with her fingers for a minute.

I was startled by a knock at the door, immediately the door flew open and her nurse was standing there staring straight at me with my top half fully exposed. I grabbed the sheet and quickly pulled it up to cover my chest as I felt myself turn red as a beet. The nurse asked the doctor something which seemed to be about a patient who was in the hospital, acting as if I wasn't even there. Fortunately she left almost immediately and the doctor finished listening to my back as if nothing had just happened.

She took the stethoscope out of her ears and told me she would do a breast exam next. Instead of having me lay back on the table like she did when I was there the first time, she had me remain sitting and asked me to raise my arms over my head, then place my hands on my hips and press down and then finally rest my arms at my side, while watching my breasts as I moved. Then she told me to clasp my hands together behind my head and started feeling the one breast with her fingers, working around in a circle towards the center.

As she pushed she was pretty firm and it felt tender in a few spots. She then got to the nipple, which was really standing up, and took a close look at it while squeezing and rolling it between her fingertips. After she did the same on the other side, she told me to lie back on the table and pulled the footboard out for my legs. Next she asked me to put my one arm behind my head and keep the other down at my side. She felt up inside my armpit, and then continued feeling into my breast with her fingertips, going around in circles, covering the surface of my breast up to the nipple. After feeling every last inch, she asked me to put my arm down and raise the other, continuing to examine the other side in the same thorough manner. I was getting really uptight over the thought of how thorough she might be with the rest of the exam because her touch wasn't overly gentle.

To my surprise and embarrassment, once she was done checking my breasts, without any warning she pushed the sheet down to my thighs, leaving me fully exposed from my neck nearly to my knees. She began to push on my stomach and while she wasn't rough, as she felt my stomach and intestines it was pretty uncomfortable because she pushed down deeply in some places. As I tried to look down at what she was doing, I could see my nipples were still pointing straight up. I got really uptight when she worked her way down further and had a shiver as she rubbed against my hair while pressing into my pelvis. She asked if the pill had made me constipated (it had) but I lied and told her it didn't. After she pressed all around my belly button, she then used her ice cold stethoscope to listen in a number of places. Finally she pulled the sheet back up so I was at least partly covered, then turned and went over to the counter. I grabbed the sheet to quickly cover my chest and tried to push the bottom half down, managing to get part of my legs covered again.

She started opening a cupboard as she said that she was going to do a pap smear next. Totally terrified, I immediately sat up and asked her what it was that she was going to do. She gave me a surprised look and asked, "Haven't you ever had a pap smear before?"

Knowing I had better stick to my previous story: "Yes - my last doctor who put me on the pill did one… but he never told me what he was doing," I told her.

After she pulled a metal tray out of the cupboard and put it on the counter, she turned around and held up a plastic speculum. She opened them slightly (saving the surprise of how far they actually did open for later) as she explained that because they were plastic they weren't cold like metal and that they were disposable so they didn't need to be sterilized, completely avoiding actually saying what she was she going to do them. It was the first time I had ever actually seen a speculum and they looked a LOT bigger than I was expecting. She quickly put them back on the tray, then showed me the wooden scraper and said she would use it to take a pap smear. Of course I had no idea what most of this meant and wasn't sure of what I was in for, but I nodded as if I understood. She didn't bother to explain anything else she was going to do and I was too embarrassed and afraid to ask any more questions.

During her brief explanation of the exam, I had been half sitting up on my elbows and my knees were flexed up because I had my feet flat on the foot extension. She sent my blood pressure rising when she came up to the end of the table and gave me the classic line of "Let's have you put your feet in the stirrups."

I shuddered in fear when she helped me by grabbing each ankle and placing my feet against the foot rests. I was already tensed up from how my feet felt, when she folded the sheet up into my lap so I was fully exposed waist down. I was embarrassed that everything was showing and tried to keep my knees together as she told me to lay back. When I did, I had another shudder as she gave me the other classic line "I'll get you to slide down - right to the end of the table please."

I slid about 2 or 3 inches toward the end as she pushed in the foot extension and then she said "Come on - slide down further - right down to the end please."

Again, another 2 or 3 inches from me. This time she waved me towards her like she was directing traffic and said, "Come on, more, more, keep coming until I tell you to stop."

I slid down until my bum was halfway off the end, trying to keep my feet in place and my legs closed together, and then I felt the back of her hand touch my butt. I just about jumped off the table at the shock of her touching me there as she said, "That's good." I laid there staring at the ceiling with my feet out to each side and my knees locked together as close as I could get them.

The doctor went over to the counter and grabbed a pair of rubber gloves and snapped them on each hand. She approached the end of the table facing me and stood between my legs right up close. "Spread your legs please - as far as you can."

I thought that she must be kidding; I couldn't imagine totally spreading my legs so I didn't flinch or move a muscle. She told me to relax and again repeated, "Come on – Spread your legs… Relax and let your knees fall out to the sides." I knew I had to comply but before I could let my legs separate I felt her gloved hands on the inside of each thigh as she directed, or more precisely, pulled my legs apart just about as far as she could. I felt totally embarrassed because I could feel my twat was fully exposed. She adjusted the sheet up and across my knees so I couldn't see anything and then sat down on her chair.

She reached for the lamp against the wall, turned it on and I could immediately feel her move the hot, bright bulb right up into my lips. With memories of Dr. Chandler, the feeling of anxiety and embarrassment was overwhelming because I knew that if I closed my legs even the slightest bit I would burn the inside of my thighs on the metal lampshade. The only good thing about this was that at least my feet weren't suspended in mid-air like they were at Dr. Chandler's – I laid there and started counting holes in the ceiling tile as the light continued to feel hotter and hotter.

The doctor said she was going to look at the outside first and instantly I felt her gloved fingers spreading my lips. I was shaking in fear as she peeled my lips apart and the heat of the light seemed to spread into the exposed folds. Slowly her fingers worked their way along each of my outer and inner lips, and then I jumped from the sensation as she pulled back the skin around my clit. I was extremely sensitive that day and it hurt when she touched my clit with her fingertip, then rolled it around a bit between her fingers. She moved down into the opening with her fingers pressing outwards and asked me to cough.

After peeling my lips wide open, she felt around the first bit inside with her fingertips. Then I felt really tense and embarrassed when she moved down to my cheeks and pulled my anus wide open, taking a good look for few seconds. When I saw her reach over to the counter and pickup the speculum I was terrified about what was going to happen next, this would be the first time in my life I ever had a speculum inside me.

She rolled her chair back between my legs and the heat of the light was momentarily blocked as I felt two fingers spread my lips, then I felt her fingers slide part way inside. Her fingers began to separate as they spread the walls apart, then she stuck one finger really deep inside. As she was probing with the tip of her finger I was getting more scared by the second that it felt really uncomfortable and she hadn't even put the speculum in yet!

After a few seconds she withdrew the finger then both fingers spread me open further. I really tensed up as I began to feel the specs slide inside between her fingers. In spite of being plastic, they still felt hard and cold. I expected there would have been some form of lubrication, but they were really pinching as she inserted them without anything. Since I was the furthest thing from being aroused I had dried up completely – there was absolutely no wet there at all! She was fighting to get them in and I was ready to scream when she commented that she couldn't use any lubricant because it would interfere with the Pap smear.

When she started to open the speculum I was so dry I thought it was going to tear the skin because it pinched so much. I would discover shortly that she hadn't even opened them to the first notch. I think she must have inserted them sideways because it felt like they were spreading me open side to side, then I gasped from the pinching as she twisted them around while pushing them in even deeper. I could feel her hand right under my bum as she levered them deep inside downwards toward my tailbone.

I heard a loud plastic creaking sound as I felt them open even wider – Youch! Pinch! Just I was thinking these things couldn't go in any deeper, were open all the way and couldn't hurt any worse; there was a really loud CreeeeeakKer-SNAP!

Yikes! I nearly lifted off the table… It felt like they were spring-loaded and the moment she released the trigger they forcefully popped open. Before I could absorb that it was only the tips that had opened inside of me, after a momentary pause I felt myself being spread in a different direction – up/down or front to back… I heard another loud plastic creaking sound, then without any warning there came an even louder and faster Creeeeeak SNAP-SNAP-SNAP as she cranked the up/down adjustment open to the absolute maximum position in one quick motion.

Whoaaaa! I knew they opened you up - but never thought it was possible to be spread that far - or that fast! I couldn't help being tensed up even more, because the pain I felt was like it bruised something. I had been terrified right from the start that this was going to hurt and now I knew I was right! Man did it ever hurt!

She never really acknowledged my extreme discomfort other than saying something like, "That's good – Just relax and breathe deeply," as she looked up inside me.

Slowly I started to at least adjust to the feeling of being spread apart by the speculum and the ripping pain almost went away and I just felt completely opened up and stretched to the limit. Never had I felt anything that "full" inside me before.

As she did the Pap smear I could feel a slight push inside me, but nothing more, as she used the wooden scraper. I could hear her chair squeaking as she must of turned back and forth to the counter a couple of times. I could feel what must have been a long cotton swab rubbing different spots inside me. When she was finished, she stood up and went back over to the counter where she was fooling around with the glass microscope slide.

I felt embarrassed that she left the speculum inside me - wide open, with the hot light beating down inches from my lips. I had this terrible vision of her stupid nurse bursting through the door again – this time with a perfect view straight up inside me! As she began opening a long paper package she said she was going to do a V.D. test next.

It seemed I laid there for at least two or three minutes until she finally came back, this time with a plastic vial and long cotton swab in hand. She then sat down and seemed to look inside for a minute, and then I felt the swab going up inside my cervix. It didn't really hurt but I got a twinge as it seemed to go up really deep inside me. When she finished she stood up again and went back to the counter, still leaving me spread wide open. Again she left me there roasting under the light and again I was terrified someone was going to come in the door and see me in this humiliating position.

I wished she would hurry up and take those things out, getting even more tensed up when I noticed she was busy writing out something on a lab requisition. When she finally finished doing the paperwork which definitely could have waited until later, she came over and sat down again. My muscles had relaxed enough that I had almost gotten used to being stretched to the limit but it still felt pretty uncomfortable as she began tugging the specs to the sides, then up and down, as she looked inside real closely. She asked if I had much white mucous discharge and if it was any worse since I had been on the pill. It seemed she continued to look for another few minutes, then I felt the speculum begin to push open very slightly. Creeeeeak Cluck! Youch! The speculum snapped shut, really pinching my insides like the dry plastic had stuck to the skin. It seemed to grab the side walls and as she withdrew them it almost hurt worse than when they went in. Ow! Ow! Ow!

There was a huge feeling of relief as the speculum, which had been inside me for what seemed like fifteen minutes, slid out past my lips. Probably because I been spread open for so long, it felt like I was still wide open and wouldn't close up - the heat of the light seemed to flood right up inside of me. She then stood up and as she moved the light back and turned it off, she said that she was going to do an "Internal".

I shuddered in horror… After the speculum, I was thinking she was going to do something even worse like major surgery. I watched as she grabbed a tube of KY Jelly and smeared some on a couple fingers of one hand. I had a feeling about what was going to happen and I was right! She reached down and again spread my lips apart as she spread some KY on the outside, then she slipped her slick cold fingers inside me. Her fingers didn't really hurt because I was already fully stretched from the specs, but I tensed up from the cold sensation of the KY and she told me to try and relax as much as I could. Her fingers swept all around the walls and then I felt her push from the inside with the two fingers as she pressed on the outside of my stomach with her other hand. Not painful, except when she felt my ovaries! but it felt as if I was being pushed in separate directions from the inside and the outside. As she was probing around she was looking right into my eyes which I found embarrassing so I closed my eyes and hoped it would soon be over.

She began to remove her fingers and I started to breathe a sigh of relief thinking she was all done as she said "Everything seems fine here" while she pulled off her gloves and threw them away. But before I knew what was going on, she took another glove from the box, snapped it on, and picked up the KY. Instantly I had a premonition of what was going to happen next and immediately propped myself up on my elbows demanding to know what she was going to do now. Well, my premonition WAS correct! She had barely gotten the words "Rectal Examination" out of her mouth before I was protesting, "NO THANKS! I'd really prefer if you don't. Everything is fine - You don't need to."

She calmly reassured me, "It will only take a second… There's nothing to be embarrassed about," as she spread a large amount of KY onto her extended finger.

With increasing apprehension I objected, "NO! REALLY!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO!"

In spite of my refusals, she came towards the end of the table with her glistening finger at the ready. Smiling, she said casually "Don't worry, I'll be very gentle. Now please relax, this will only take a moment and then we'll be all done." Without skipping a beat, down goes her hand, pushing the KY between my flinching bum cheeks with a twist of her finger. Totally panicked she was just going ahead and doing it anyway, just as the tip of her finger quickly found the opening of my anus and started to penetrate, I immediately pushed up on my elbows. She managed to get her finger in only a short distance by the time I got a grip with my hands, pulling my butt back up onto the table with an urgent terrified scream:

"NO!!! STOP!PLEASE - DON'T!"

She seemed really surprised by my extreme objection, probably more so that just as she was driving her finger up my ass at full speed, I was retreating twice as fast. As she looked down at her finger pointing in mid-air where my butt had previously been only a second earlier, it seemed to shock her enough that her only response was a sheepish, "Oh... Okay… Sorry…"

With nothing further to do, she said she was done and pulled off the glove. Not a second too soon - I pushed the sheet down between my legs to cover as much as possible. She pulled the sheet down over my legs as she said I could take my feet out of the stirrups, helping me to lift my feet out. I was never so relieved that this experience was over and that I could finally close my legs. She pulled two or three Kleenex out of the box and handed them to me as she told me I could wipe myself off and get dressed.

The doctor left the room and without bothering to wipe off, I put my panties on at record speed since that seemed to be the most vulnerable part. I didn't really care if someone saw my boobs at that point; I was more concerned about getting my pants on before anything else happened. I was soaking wet with KY from front to back and there was so much inside me it felt like it was gushing out as I bent over to pull my jeans on, even though I had left a big wet circle of it on the paper when I pulled my butt back onto the table. After I got my top back on, I stepped into my shoes and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

My first "real" pelvic exam was over and I had survived, but not without extreme anxiety and embarrassment. The first thing my boyfriend said when he picked me up was that I was red as a beet and my lips were really bulging to show every last wrinkle in my white jeans.

When he asked, "So, did she check you?", I replied, "GOD! Did she ever! It's a good thing I only have to do that once a year!"