Like most, after eleven years of marriage, you think that you know all about your spouse - good and bad. For me, this certainly was not the case. All in all, Dan and I have a pretty good life. We married early (we were both 20) and decided to put off starting a family until we were further established in our careers. Dan worked hard to build a successful commercial contracting business, while I worked through school and first became an RN at a local hospital and then, after six years, moved on to become one of the principle nurses at a fast growing private medical practice. For us both, the money is very good, but the hours can be brutal. We have a beautiful house and yard, nice cars, and all the toys that we could want.

What we also had was a deteriorating sex life. I'm not sure when it started, but over the past year the "issue", as we called it, had gotten worse. No, it wasn't the loss of attraction for the other. We both keep fit by working out regularly, although I haven't been able to quit indulging in an occasional cigarette. I can still attract a look when I am in my bikini. And my 36C's haven't started looking for the ground. Victoria's Secret knows my credit card by heart. And while I honestly cannot say that I am on the same league as the catalogue models, I still look pretty good in a silk teddy or garter belt and push up bra.

The "issue" is not unique and has affected many couples. Over a period of months, Dan's ability to hold back his orgasm became shorter and shorter. What started out as a conclusion to our intercourse after five minutes turned into a "hair trigger" where Dan actually comes before entering my vagina. As his premature ejaculation became worse our frustrations grew. Soon, we were putting off sex for fear of failure.

God forbid if I tried to give him oral sex (which I used to love to do).

We tried to work through it, following all the guidance generally listed in books and on the internet. Trying the "stop/start" technique for weeks, the glans squeeze, and other positions. I even got used to the routine where I would stroke him to hardness and, as he would turn to enter me, come in my hand. Then we would cuddle for awhile after which he would fall asleep and leave me to finish up with my vibrator which I purchased from a mail order company. Treating this as "our problem" I urged Dan that we go to a doctor. We have a very good urologist in our association. I offered to make an appointment.

Always kissing me, he told me, "We will work through it."