This story is true and not fictional so I will do my best to be as accurate as possible. I must warn you I have never tried to write a story or anything like this before, but I will do my best. It started when I was around 7 or 8 years old.

I remember coming in the house from playing, most likely to use the bathroom. My mom was changing my baby brother and my baby nephew's diapers, and when I looked in I just couldn't help myself. Something about seeing them getting their diapers changed just made me stop and stare, and I knew right then I was going to have to get a diaper somehow and try one on. At the time I don't think disposable diapers were out and mom could only could afford cloth diapers. Dad worked 2 to 3 jobs at a time but we never had much money, but we got by alright and we never went hungry.

From that day on I waited and waited for the chance to be able to get into my parents' room and get one of the diapers and some diaper pins. It seemed like forever and every time I'd seen my brother or nephew getting a diaper change I had to stop and stare without getting caught. I remember whenever I saw a cartoon or picture or whatever that had to do with diapers I would just sit and stare at it.

One day mom and dad went to the grocery store, which was an all-day event as there were 10 in all living in this small house-- with me, my mom and 3 sisters and my dad and 3 brothers and my nephew.

So needless to say we shared rooms. But mom and dad had left and my oldest brother and sister had also left. This gave me a chance to get into my parents' room and get myself a diaper and some diaper pins.

I took and hid the diaper and pins in the bedroom that I shared with my older brother that was only one year older. I think that was the only time in my life I wanted to be sent to bed. Bedtime finally came and I went to bed without whining like I usually did. But then I had to wait until my brother Danny fell asleep so I could try on my new diaper (New to me that is) Finally, he fell asleep and I tried getting this diaper on, and even before I got it pinned on (by the way I stuck myself countless times) I felt so safe and secure and had this wonderful feeling that's hard to explain, but I knew right then and there I wanted to wear diapers.

So I would wear my diaper whenever I got the chance, but when I was able to get a pair of plastic pants they didn't fit me, even with my small build. Then one day I was at the little corner market not far from the house and I'd seen a pair of plastic pants on the shelf in the baby aisle. I don't know why I went down that aisle. I thought they would fit me and I had to have them, so I stuck them inside my coat. I didn't have the money to buy them and I would have been too scared anyways. I was walking out the door of the store and the man behind the counter told me to stop. I was so scared I just ran right out into the street that was a main street and I almost got hit by a car.

I ran so hard and my heart was beating so hard I was scared to death. After I calmed back down I took the pants out of my coat because now I was hiding in the alley thinking they were looking for me to send me to jail, or worse, take me home to my parents.

When I looked at the plastic pants now I'd really seen what an ugly design they were, but I didn't really care too much about that. After all, I almost killed myself, so I was going to wear them. When I got home my mom asked me if I was alright and I said yes, but she had to check my forehead to make sure I wasn't hot. I was still scared so maybe I was white as a ghost still. But after she was done I went to my room and hid the plastic pants with my diaper. Then once again I could hardly wait until bedtime. You think my parents would have wondered why I wasn't whining about going to bed.

Once my brother fell asleep I put my diaper on and by now I only stuck myself once in a while. Then I put the plastic pants on and they fit perfect over my diaper. I was so happy I wanted to run and show everyone but I didn't dare.

So this went on for a while, then I got tired of it, so I thought it was over. so I hid the diaper and plastic pants and the diaper pins in the attic. Then I went for a few months, I think, before I started paying attention to kids in diapers and ads for diapers and stuff, so I got my diaper and plastic pants out of my hiding spot and started wearing them again to bed.

This went on and off for years, and then by this time my little brother (the one that was wearing diapers when I first got interested in them) was sharing a room with me because Danny thought he was too old to have to share a room, so dad put a cheap wall up into the attic that he fixed up to be a bedroom, and now became two bedrooms. Needless to say, they were very small, so now it's my baby brother and me sharing a room and he had been out of diapers for some time now, but he had a bladder problem and couldn't hold it very long, so he had a lot of wetting accidents and wet beds. He was maybe four then, and wet the bed almost every night, but mom never put him back into diapers.

One night I had my diaper on and I heard him crying so I asked him what was wrong and he said he had wet his bed again, so I helped him get into some dry training pants, which. by the way, we both wore for some reason, I didn't have underwear like the older boys, maybe because the training pants fit so well I never thought about it because it just seemed normal. I got him in dry training pants and he climbed into bed with me for the night. He never knew I was wearing a diaper under my Pjs.

The next morning I got up and went to school and I kept thinking if John wore diapers to bed then he would feel better because his bed would be dry. When I got home I asked mom why she didn't diaper John at night since she knew he was going to wet the bed and she just said he was too old for diapers. There went any chance I might have to get put back into diapers. By this time my sister and nephew had moved out.

So one night me and John were in our room and he started crying because he knew he was going to wet the bed again so I asked him if he could if he would wear a diaper, and at first he didn't like the idea, but then after we talked some more he thought it might be a good idea, so I told him my little secret about wearing diapers and told him if mom or dad ever found out we would both get a spanking and grounded, so he'd better keep his mouth shut. That night I put my diaper and plastic pants on him and the plastic pants were too big for him. He wore them anyways and I just wore my training pants.

He really liked the feeling of the diaper also, and I really liked seeing him in diaper, too. but for some reason he was scarred to sleep alone, so once again he got into bed with me whenever he was scared. I would wake up and there was John that night. He didn't wet, so he thought maybe his bedwetting nights where over. Not for long, the next night he soaked his bed big time. I even teased him that he wet so hard that night because he didn't wet the night before. He was little at the time and thought it was true so needless to say he slept with me again in a diaper.

This went on for a while then he didn't want to wear the diapers anymore, and by this time those diapers needed to be thrown away because they were so worn and smelly because we had no way of washing them. The room smelled like pee because of his mattress that nobody thought anything about it. So I got rid of the diapers which by now we had 4 or 5, and I kept the plastic pants and the diaper pins and just hid them again. I don't know if now he was too embarrassed about having worn the diapers or what, but we didn't even talk about it.

Now John was in kindergarten and I think I was in the 5th grade. I got called to the office and all I cant think of is, "what did I do wrong?" but as soon as I walked in, there was John, wet pants and all. He said the teacher wouldn't let him go to the bathroom so he had an accident in his pants again. So the principal sent me home to get John some clean underpants (training pants) and a pair of pants, so I get home and mom wanted to know what I was doing home from school. I told her what happened and she gave me some clean clothes for John.

When I got back to the school I had to take John into the bathroom and get him cleaned up. This went on for a few weeks, if I remember correctly, then mom came to the school and told them that John's bladder was not full grown yet, and when he says he has to go to the bathroom he can't hold it. There were a few times after that he had accidents and I had to go get him clean clothes and then help him get cleaned up. Some of the kids picked on him and even me for having a pee-pants brother, but he couldn't help it, so I never got mad at him for it, and soon he out grew it. Good thing, because the next year I would be in junior high and he would have to have one of his sisters get him clean clothes and help him get cleaned up, and he was always very shy around girls and never wanted his sisters to see him without clothes on. So he never wore diapers after that (that I know of) but soon my feelings for diapers had come back now I had to figure where I could get any diapers I thought mom had gotten rid of them by now. I used towels for diapers and my plastic pants and diaper pins but they didn't feel as good.

One day I was grounded again, so I was told I had to clean the shed which was pretty good size, not big enough for a car, but still big. While cleaning I came across some boxes that had "baby stuff" written on them. My heart started beating harder and I kept thinking that there wouldn't be any diapers in there, just old toys and junk. Then when I opened the box I was in heaven! There where a bunch of diapers right on top. I thought I died and went to heaven. That night I was diapered and happy and I wore the diaper every night, and I even started getting brave and wearing the diaper under my Pjs and robe while being downstairs, but I never stayed down for long. I didn't want to get caught in my diapers but it was fun at the same time trying to be sneaky going around wearing a diaper. I think my little brother John knew I was wearing diapers again but like I said he never talked about it.

So I wore my diapers at night and I was very happy at night. My parents drank a lot and they fought a lot, mostly just yelling, but my dad hit my mom a few times I could see the marks in the morning, but mom would just say it was an accident and drop it at that. This went on and on, them fighting, and me wearing my diapers to bed. Then one day while I was at school my oldest brother Art found my diapers stash. As soon as I walked in the door he just pulled it out from behind his back and said, "Is this your diaper?"

I was so shocked and scared. I just looked at him and said they weren't mine and went out back, or something. I don't remember where I went; I just wanted to get away. I heard mom tell him to put the diaper and plastic pants in the trash. I wanted to cry but then I would give away my secret.

I thought I was really going to be in trouble any minute and I was just waiting to be called in the house and get spanked with the belt across my bare bottom again. But to my surprise and relief, nothing was said when I came in for dinner. I thought again, here it comes, but again nothing was said, not even by my oldest brother, and I never heard anything about it. But then I didn't wear diapers again for a very long time because I was afraid my brother was watching and trying to catch me with diapers.

So now I was in junior high school everything was going alright until I got assigned a gym class, and from the word go I was not going to take a shower with 20 other kids. I was just too embarrassed, so I got in trouble a lot for not taking the showers and not playing sports, but I don't like sports. I never did, so if you didn't play the sports you still had to get dressed for gym class, which for me was stripping down to my tee shirt and underwear (training pants) and wrap a towel around myself because my parents didn't have the money at the time to buy me my gym clothes needed, and I was not the only one wearing a towel, either.

One day this kid came up from behind me and pulled off my towel and everyone started laughing and pointing at first I just thought because they seen my underwear until they started saying things like, "Look at the baby! He is still wearing training pants!" and stuff like that. I kept getting teased for a long time, too, and I never got ready for gym. After that I stayed in my street clothes and refused to change. My parents even said they would get the money to buy me big boy underwear and my gym clothes, but I flat-out refused to ever get changed for gym again. If it meant getting the belt again I didn't care.

I did get the belt at first, then I don't know what happened, but I was not forced to change anymore. I just had to take my shoes off in gym class, which I got teased for because of my old socks. After awhile I lost all interest in school and I really liked going to elementary school, even with my little brothers wetting accidents.

Now I was about 15 and I still have my desires about wearing diapers but was still afraid of getting caught. I thought the whole world was rotten and nobody seemed to care. My best friend was always there for me, but to this day I don't recall if I told him about my desires with diapers. I started skipping school to get away from being teased and getting beat up. I guess because of my small size at the time I got beat up a lot, then when I turned 16 I knew everything and I quit school.

My dad told me, "If you're not going to school then you get a job and start paying room and board," so I got a job at a local grocery store (not the one I took the plastic pants from) and paid my rent. Everything was going on still with mom and dad fighting. I never really knew at the time why they fought so much, over money, I guess. But now I was working full time and paying rent and still didn't have my own room. My oldest brother went into the service, which gave me the chance to wear diapers again. Don't get me wrong, my brother and I got along, but he was the oldest and so he always picked on me in fun. Now I worked full time, but how could I get diapers? Then a friend of mine had an emergency and asked me if I could babysit her two little girls for her while she was gone for a few hours, so I said yes and then it hit me.

Her youngest daughter was still in diapers and cloth Diapers at that. Now I had the problem of "how can I get this diaper home without getting caught?" I couldn't think of a way, so I gave up the idea and now I had another problem the little girl had a messy diaper and I had to change it. This was the first time in years since I put my little brother in diapers and then he never messed his diaper, so for a 16 year old it was the worst thing to have to do, but I managed to get it done. From then on I would babysit from time to time, but now when I did I would wear a diaper under my clothes. Both girls were too young to care and I was happy.

Then when I turned 17 or 18 I moved out and into an apartment with a different friend that lived across the street from me and I could wear diapers to bed again. By now they had Pampers and Kimbies diapers out and the Pampers where flat, not contoured like today's diapers. I would tape 2 or 3 together to make a diaper that would fit me and all was well for awhile. Then I got sick and was in the hospital for 2 weeks and when I got home I found out my friend had moved out on me. So it was time to move because I couldn't afford the rent on my own.

I know I am jumping forward, but the stuff in between then and where I am going was boring anyways. Now I was staying with my younger sister and her husband and my I had a crush on the girl who lived next door and she liked me, too. We grew up together but she went her own way and I went mine, but we were still really good friends. She got pregnant from some guy that couldn't have cared less, and she had the baby. By this time we have gotten closer even though she still liked the jerk.

After she had the baby, which was a girl, she got tired of trying to get this guy to accept responsibility for the baby and she dumped him and we wound up getting even closer. I would take her and the baby to the doctors and shopping and all that stuff. Then one day I thought I had to tell her about myself liking diapers and I was scared she wouldn't want anything to do with me after that. But as it turned out she said she didn't have a problem with it as long as it wasn't hurting anyone. (Which it never did) So now I can wear my diapers and I have someone to talk with somewhat anyways she was alright with it but we didn't have conversations over it if it came up some how that was fine.

So by this time my mom passed away from leukemia and I felt so alone the only time I felt good was when I was wearing my diaper then I would make-believe I was a baby or something on that order and I could block the world out for just a few hours.

So this went on for a few years dating Maggi off and on and the same with the diapers. Then I got injured at work one day and was on workman's compensation for my disability and I asked Maggi if she would marry me. Mind you, I was still living next door to her at my sister's house, and to my surprise and shock she said yes (shocked because I had not planned on asking her to marry me it just came out!) So we were married and by this time the baby was about 4 or 5 and she was out of diapers, but I wasn't. We rented a house down the road, so most of my family and hers all lived within walking distance from each other. It just worked out that way.

But now I could wear diapers to bed and have someone else besides my little brother John in bed with me and everything was great. I even adopted the little girl who now is my daughter and most people say she looks like me. So I don't even tell them any different.

Then one day Maggi and I were at the store. I hated going to stores with her because she took forever, but this day turned out great. We were down an aisle and she just said something about diapers and when I asked her she just pointed to a bag and said, "there are some diapers that would fit you better."

I was too shy to buy them and it kept bugging me and she knew it, so she went and bought them and then she asked, "How come you can go to the store and buy everything [including her monthly pads for her] but not a bag of adult diapers?" I had no idea and so from that day on I wore the diapers and I even got to the point I would buy them but I never wore diapers out of the house except one night our daughter was gone to a sleepover or something, and my wife joking said, "it's time for the baby to get his diaper on," and I said, "only if you put it on me" or something like that. She did, then she got her Pjs on and I put my robe on and we just sat outside on the porch for hours in each others arms, and it was heaven.

As time went on my injury never got better and I was off and on work until the doctors said I needed to have back surgery. I thought I was going to wet my pants at the thought of surgery. As it turned out I had 3 low back surgeries within 2 years and I started having wetting accidents and a few times. I even messed myself, so I went to the doctors and went through all their tests and stuff, and when they were done. They told my wife and I that I had two nerves that were dead from the surgeries, one that told the brain I have to pee and the other one that controlled the bladder muscles. As for the bowel accidents, they said I had IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and that there was nothing they could do for the bladder, but they could help me with medication for the IBS. They said that I would either have to do self-cauterizing or wear diapers for the bladder problem. With the bowel and bladder I just said, "I'll take the diapers" and I don't think that was what they expected.

I tried not to show how happy I was now I have a medical reason to wear diapers but my wife had seen right through me. She didn't say a word until we got in the car. One nurse said to me I should go with the self-cauterizing and that she had a problem with putting adults in diapers. I just thought. "too bad lady, I don't."

We got home from being at the hospital for 9 hours, having all these tests done on me, and we just got ready for bed and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was soaked. By accident I woke Maggi up and she asked what was wrong and I told her. She just got up grabbed a cloth diaper and vinyl pants that she had bought for me and changed me and then went back to sleep. Now this was great and I wondered if she would do it all the time, but I soon found out "No", because she didn't really get into the diaper thing, but she was alright with it.

Then Depends came out and I had to get some and they where much better then those flat thin diapers I was using, except the color green (yecka color) so now by this time I have a few pairs of vinyl pants. I covered up the diaper with the pants, which was great, and knew I still had some control with the bladder, and the bowel problem was minor with them medication. I mostly wore diapers at night because I was afraid everyone would notice I was wearing diapers and start making fun of me again, even though now I had a medical reason to wear diapers. By then I started wearing diapers a little more and more until I was wearing diapers 24/7. Now my family knows I wear diapers and they don't care and a few friends know I wear diapers, also. My daughter and her husband even gave me a case of 96 disposable diapers one year for Christmas. Weird gift but I didn't mind.

I have had some doctors say really dumb stuff when they see I am wearing a diaper. Most don't say anything but I have had some ask things "Like what's this?" or "Do you wear them at night?" and even "Who changes you?" Like it makes a difference.

But I am still diapered 24/7 at the age of 45, and I thought it was just me like with wearing diapers. I was the only one with these feelings but also wearing diapers 24/7 makes me feel younger and I even have to stop myself and think sometimes that, "Hey Dave your 45, not 5."

I seen Decker's Diaper page and wrote to him and he suggested I try and write my story so this is it for the most part.

Sadly, I am alone again. My wife passed away from cancer and my daughter is full grown with a daughter of her own, but I still have my diapers, and if nothing else I'm back to where the world can stay outside as long as I have my diapers on for the most part anyways. I don't think my oldest brother knows about the diapers because we live so far apart, but if he did I wonder if he would bring up about me wearing diapers when I was younger he knew that diaper and plastic pants were mine.

And now I have been in touch with my best friend growing up we both went different ways but are now back in touch. We did the same things little boys do like checking each other out and masturbating like all little boys do, at least I would think so. It seemed normal at the time, just being young and checking out new things. We did lots of other things boys do like getting into trouble, but I always seemed to be the one getting the spankings and not so much my friends. They got into trouble, but I don't remember them getting spankings with their pants down around there ankles like I did, with sisters and neighbors all watching. Dad didn't care who was there if you got a spanking; it was in front of everybody.

I wonder if I should tell my friend about the diapers and what he might say about them. Now that could be a whole different story. And English was never my strong point so forgive the mistakes.

Well I hope you enjoyed reading this. If nothing else, I tried.

I almost forgot, my wife almost always called me "Crybaby" and she would get some strange looks form people calling her husband Crybaby. We knew why.

Cry Baby aka Baby Dave