The doctor presses a pedal and lowers the table so she can reach my bottom now that I’m up on my hands and knees.

She once again grabs the otoscope and spreads my cheeks, shining the light on my most private hole…all in front of my new husband!

“Any issues with piles?”

“Uh-no, I mean I don’t think so…” I stammer.

“Constipation, flatulence?”

“No!”

She continues to look at the outside of my little pucker, poking at it and slightly stretching some of the creases.

I hear her hook the otoscope back on the wall and squelch some more jelly on her finger. Before I know it her cold bony middle finger is sliding right up my butthole.

I grimace and whimper as she wiggles it around in all directions. I feel like a damn puppet. Finally she pulls it out and I moan in relief.

She’s looking at her finger “clean as a whistle,” she tells Andrew as she shows him there’s no fecal matter. “I think I’m going to go ahead and scope you today. I want to get a good baseline of your rectal wall.

She then produces a long metal anoscope and I immediately begin to beg.

“Now now, she soothes. All my patients get their rectum scoped once a year and you’re no different my dear. Now just relax, it’s already lubricated so I’m going to slide it in.” She points it and the entrance to my anus and slowly advances it in. I breathe deeply and surprisingly it’s not too bad.

I hear her click a light on and she and Andrew both look down into my back passage. “If she’s every moody and you don’t know why, bring her in for a colon cleanse, that usually helps.” she tells him.

Once again reaching onto the Mayo stand, she takes a long q tip and sticks it up my bottom as well, taking some samples from the rectal wall.

“Looks like a very healthy rectum. But your husband and I will keep a close eye on it,” she tells me as she removes the scope. Finally I’m able to turn over and sit down.

Removing her gloves, Dr Danica goes back to her chart. “Alright next thing I’ll need you to pee in this cup for me to send to the lab.” She hands me a small specimen cup. “The toilet is in the corner. Use the alcohol wipes first.”

She points to essentially a commode chair with a bucket underneath it. I guess I’m going to be doing this in front of them. Hanging my head, I shuffle over to the makeshift toilet and grab an alcohol wipe and swab my urethra. Having not used the restroom in several hours I’m easily able to fill the cup. I set it on the counter, dry off and wash my hands in the sink. She and Andrew are discussing something when I come back over to the table.

“Ok. Up on your tummy young lady. Looks like you’re getting some shots today.”

“What!” I gasp in terror. I absolutely hate needles and Andrew knows it. But he looks at me with very little sympathy.

“Ally. You need to be updated on your vaccines. Up on the table.”

Dr. Danica is already drawing up 3 injections as I climb on the table, crying real tears. She approaches me laying the needles right in my line of sight. The alcohol is ice cold as she preps three spots on my round little bottom. Next once after another, like darts, she stabs the needles into my tender flesh and removes them, dropping them back on the metal stand and grabbing the next one.

I’m sobbing into my arms as she finishes up and puts 3 pink unicorn bandaids on my cheeks.

“Alright dear we are all done,” she pats my booty. “I want to see you in 3 months but give me a call if you need me before then,” she mostly addresses Andrew at the end.

And with that she’s gone. Sniffling and hiccoughing, I go back to put my clothes on. Andrew joins me eventually and helps me back into my coat and kneels down to put my boots on. He stands up and kisses my forehead.

“Im very proud of you Ally. I know that was a lot and I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. But your health is my utmost concern and I know she will take great care of you. Come on, let’s go home and I’ll run you a nice hot bath,”

We make my follow up appointment on the way out and get back into the car to head home again.