**updated**

~You are daddy, Dr. Daddy, and today is monthly check up day.~

In the morning, before daddy goes out to the office. I am reminded that it is monthly check up day... It's been circled on the calendar for the last Thursday of this month. Subsequently, on the months in the calendar still to come. Highlighted in purple. My favourite colour. To try and convince me that it is a good thing. That I should like it. Maybe I do a little, but only because daddy makes me feel safe and cared for. Plus I know not to make too much of a fuss, or else I would be punished.

Daddy hugs me goodbye, and whispers in my ear… reminding me that I am to be a good girl and show up to my appointment today. That I know what will happen if I do not – I learned that the hard way. That’s what led to my last spanking… My cheeks were red for the whole day.

Daddy kisses my forehead, and tells me that he will see me later…. A pit grows in my stomach.

That afternoon, I drive myself to the clinic, the receptionist greets me as I walk in. I clutch my hands together tightly, as I bite my lip. The smell hits me, as if I’d walked into a wall. The smell that reminds me of the discomfort to come. That I endure every month, despite any of my previous attempts to protest. I accept this fact, even though I still get nervous every time. Something about being here-at the clinic makes me uneasy. Sure, daddy has a doctor’s bag at home… but here? Here, there are scary things. Here, I always have to endure stuff that I never would have to at home. That is, so long as I wasn’t sick.

I try to swallow my worry, as I sit in the plastic covered chair. I see all the other people there. Surely I don’t have to wait for all these people? Why did I have to come so early? Daddy always makes me the last patient of the day.

One by one, I hear names called by daddy’s nurse, Kelly. She always spoke sweetly to me, but she also always helped daddy do things to me… things that I didn’t like…

After the last patient is called, daddy’s receptionist finished up some things and got up to leave, as she does every time. Daddy likes to give me more privacy I think. The time between, where I sit alone and wait is the worst. My tummy turns until after much anticipation, nurse Kelly walks out to usher the last patient through the front doors. I watch and she guides them out, locking the door behind them… I freeze and pretend not to see. Maybe if I stayed still enough, I would disappear- no such luck. Kelly gently puts her hand on my shoulder and reminds me, in a sweet voice, to be on my best behaviour… that we don’t want daddy finding out that someone wasn’t listening. She’s right, I don’t want that. So reluctantly, I hop up from my chair and Kelly guides me past the door, into the exam room hall.