It was 11:30 AM, and I waited impatiently for the mailman to arrive. The tracking for the package had said it would arrive two days ago, but it changed to “An unexpected delay has occurred” late on that day, and the estimated delivery date changed to “Will be provided later.” Finally, this morning when I checked, it had shown as “On vehicle for delivery.” At 1:20, I heard the start stopping of the mail truck as it came down the street and walked out to the mailbox to get the package.

Today’s events were set in motion a month ago when watching a cable news talking head, an ad for women’s leakproof period underwear came on. You might ask why a senior man would be interested in women’s period underwear. I, from time to time, like to do a wine retention enema. When you are retaining the enema, a sudden cough or sneeze can cause a mess in your clothes, or if you go to sleep while retaining, what your body thinks is a harmless breaking of wind, can stain your sheets. I don’t like the idea of wearing Depends, and I have never been able to get an adhesive pad to stay in place in my underwear. After seeing the ad several times, I visited the Knix website and looked at their selection. Out of all their product selections, several did not shout “Girly” as soon as you saw them. After debating with myself for over a week, I finally placed an order.

Upon returning to the house with the package, I immediately went to the bedroom, stripped off my regular clothes, and tried on my new purchase to see how I had done in size selection. The new “Dream Shorts” fit fine, and the built-in pad was where it should be to provide protection.

Being earlier in the day than I wanted to start the process, I changed back into my regular clothes and left to run some errands. While out, I stopped at my favorite liquor store and picked up a new box of Franzia Cabernet for later activity.

At 5:00 PM, I was back home and ready to start the fun for the evening. I need the colon to be empty to use my favorite tube for wine delivery. I wanted to achieve that using only two preliminary enemas. I put a plastic yard bag with a folded bath sheet on the bed and set up my camera tripod next to the bed to hold the bag. I then prepared my first enema of the evening. It was 3 liters of very warm solution with three tablespoons of Dr. B’s peppermint castile soap.

I have an extensive collection of nozzles and tubes to choose from, acquired from various sources. Some of my favorites are from Silicone Nozzles (SNC), some are from Optimal Health Network, and some oldies but goodies are from Beth Tyler when her site was still open. Knowing I would need some help to hold 3 liters of soapy solution, I picked an inflatable nozzle from SNC that reaches into the lower sigmoid. This reduces cramping and generally makes the enema easier to take.

After preparing the bag, I stripped to my birthday suit and, before getting into bed to start the enema, weighed myself to set a baseline. This will not tell you that you absolutely have everything out when you evacuate, but it will let you know that you have as much out as you just put in. I then lubed myself and the nozzle with my favorite anal lube, Soothe from Intimate Earth. After inserting the nozzle and giving the bulb four full pumps, I opened the roller clamp and adjusted it until the flow indicator was turning, but you could still make out the individual segments on it. I then rolled onto my left side in a relaxed Sims position and watched the solution in the bag empty.

About halfway through the bag, the first bout of peristalsis hit. I added a pump to the nozzle and massaged my stomach to ease the cramp. I also made a mental note to put some massage oil within reach for the rinse. The rest of the filling went without major incident. When the bag was empty, I left the nozzle in place, rolled onto my back, inclined the bed, and started reading a story on Zity. After about 5 minutes, the solution was telling me it really wanted out, so I got up, took the bag to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet, and let the air out of the nozzle.

After the initial surge calmed down, I got up and took the bag and nozzle to the sink to rinse them. Before I was done, I had to rush back to the throne for another drainage session, this one with a higher percentage of solids. When that urgency ended, I finished rinsing the equipment and walked around a little. When I returned, there was more drainage but without urgency. When I finished and cleaned up again, I stepped on the scale and found I was still about ¾ pound over my baseline. I laid back down in bed and continued to read the story. After several minutes there was a major gurgling coming from my stomach. I returned to the toilet; this time, when I cleaned up, I was a pound under my baseline.

I prepared the rinse enema using 3 ½ liters of again very warm water with salt and baking soda. I kept the same inflatable nozzle, hung the bag about 6 inches higher than I had before, and did remember to get the massage oil. After lubing me and the nozzle again, I inserted it, pumped it up, and started the water flowing faster than before, but still slow enough that the flow indicator wasn’t just a blur. I stayed on my back, poured oil on my stomach, and massaged it following the colon from the rectum, along the sigmoid, and then up the descending colon to the bottom of the ribcage to aid the water in reaching as deep as possible. There were times when I felt full, but the fill was basically without incident.

I’ve read that variations in the length of the colon in normal individuals are almost entirely due to the size of the sigmoid. I’ve also read that generally, you have a small sigmoid or a large one, and there are very few in the middle (i.e., It is either small or large but not medium). I have a large sigmoid. It goes from the flexure at its interface with the rectum up to the area near where the transverse colon would cross and then back down to the pelvic bone on the left side, connecting with the descending colon.

Although the salt in the rinse will slow down the body’s water absorption, I did not want to hold the rinse to limit further the amount absorbed. I again carried the bag to the bathroom and deflated the balloon once seated. I reversed the direction of my massage, following from the top of the descending colon to the rectum. Between the lack of stimulation from the soap, the slightly larger volume, and the soothing effect of the baking soda, it took a longer time until I got to baseline. I only got to a half pound below the original baseline, which meant I still had some water in the system somewhere, but I was ready for what all of this was leading up to.

I laid my CT-152 tube from SNC on the bed along with a used lip balm. The lid of the lip balm is the perfect size to act as a plug in the bore of the CT-152. The CT-152 is 24 inches long and 2 inches in diameter along its shaft. It has what they call the “multi-ball” tip and the old-style retention valley that they no longer offer. The silicone material is the softest that they offer. I also put away the tripod because it will not be used for this last stage. I return to the bathroom and start the water running in the spa tub. I get the equivalent of 2 glasses of wine (about 500 ml) and pour it into the bag, followed by 500 ml of very hot water. I hang the bag on a hook I have placed at the height for use while reclining in the tub. I refill the plastic cup with very hot water and set it on the tub's ledge near the hanging bag.

Getting back into the bed, I lube myself and the multi-ball section of the tube. This tube works very well for a wine enema for two reasons. First, it satisfies my passion (?fetish?) for depth play; second, when fully inserted, the colon is totally blocked up to the main bend in the sigmoid, and the end of the tube is about halfway down the ascending portion toward the descending colon.

Inserting the tube is stimulating. Being so flexible, it takes both hands to insert the tip, but once started, it follows the bends and curves of the colon better than anything else I have found. The first real stimulation is when the large balls move through the anal sphincter. The thrill is repeated as the large balls move through the flexure between the rectum and sigmoid. It takes patience to insert the tube fully. The tube will compress similarly to a spring. Rather than applying more pressure, holding position, and letting the expansion of the spring move the tube works well. Sometimes the colon will revolt and clamp down and try to expel the tube. If you hold position, when the colon relaxes, you progress several inches. When only about 2 inches are left outside the body, I plug the bore of the tube using the lip balm lid and then insert the last few inches. You don’t feel much when the tip goes around the curve of the sigmoid, but you do feel the stretching there when the large part of the tube gets there.

Having the tube fully inserted, I will lay there for a few minutes and let the body adjust to the full feeling. I then get up and move to the tub. Plugging the bore prevents accidental carpet stains from residual water coming out of the tube. Getting into the tub, if it is now full, I turn off the water and recline. If it is not yet full, I will sit upright on the end of the tube and wait for the tub to finish filling. Once reclined, I remove the lip balm lid and let as much air bubble out of the tube bore as possible. I then insert the connector on the end of the bag hose and am ready to start the flow.

I want the wine solution to flow as slowly as possible. If you go too fast, a high concentration will hit the colon walls and cause an immediate cramp. To retain the solution, if possible, you don’t want any cramping. Adjusting the flow so that the flow indicator is turning very slowly will allow the concentration of wine on the colon wall to increase gradually and the wall to absorb and relax from the alcohol. When the bag empties, I close the clamp, sit up, and pour the cup of hot water I have waiting into the bag. I then reopen the clamp and watch until all the wine solution has left the hose and flowed into the body. This usually takes about half the water poured from the cup. Again, I close the clamp. I then remove the connector and replace the lip balm lid plug.

I sit up in the tub. All the wine solution is in the descending colon and ascending sigmoid. I let the body absorb for about 5 minutes. This will have the colon so relaxed from the alcohol that it doesn’t try to move the solution out of the body. In addition, I am feeling a mild but pleasant buzz. I then lean back far enough to free the end of the tube and slowly remove it. With all the stimulation going in, coming out is relatively uneventful.

I climb out of the tub, dry off, and then put on my new leakproof Dream Shorts. When I take wine enemas, there is no standard activity I do when I’m finished and holding the solution. Tonight, I go straight to bed and read some more Zity stories until I fall asleep.

EPILOGUE: When I woke up the following day and got out of bed, I took off the Dream Shorts and inspected them. It was apparent there had been some small amount of leakage, and the shorts had done their job. I took a 3 liter salt and soda rinse standing while taking my shower to wash the remnants of the wine away and started my day.