On the way to my follow up exam I was very tensed, since it was the first time I would have an exam that was not on my demand.

At arrival I was asked to wait in the waiting room, my husband went with the doc directly into his office. After a waiting time that felt like ages my husband came back and sat down beside me. He was calm but I felt that he was also a little tense. After again a couple of minutes I was called by the doctor. He led us into his office where we set down in front of his desk.

I was told that the results of my PAP smear were not good and that he had to do it again as well as a colposcopy and some other exams. I was so puzzled that I did not ask what other exams he was planning to do. I agreed on the exams but made clear that I do not accept another recto-vaginal. He said he wouldn’t do one if I am not ok with it. And asked if I have any other exams that I would refuse. I didn’t much to my regret but that’s later. I told him no needles, never ever. Then he asked me to move on into the exam room and undress from the waist down.

My husband stayed with him same minutes. I took of my skirt and panties and sit down on the exam chair. As they arrived the doc put a drape on me so that I did not really see what he will be doing. I really do not like that but having full confidence in this doc and my husband, who stayed on the view side I let him do. He switched on his light and started to reposition the foot rests. He made them much wider than the last time. Then he strapped my legs to the footrests again one thing I would never accept in real exam. He told me this was necessary for the colposcopy since every little movement might disturb the exam.

After that I heard the 2 snaps of his gloves and he disappeared behind the drape, sitting between my widespread legs. He told me that he will insert the speculum. I felt the cold metal slide slowly but firmly into my now fairly wet canal. It was a very large speculum, I only felt this size of a speculum after giving birth some years ago. He then opened the speculum very wide, it was very uncomfortable but he said it was necessary. Now he realized another pap test and took other swabs. I do not know how many he really took but I felt him going all over any places in me.

After that he started to open a little wider the speculum until I told him to stop. Then I heard the movement of the colposcope and felt the hot light shining into me. It was a strange feeling. After a couple of minutes, he asked my man if he wants to look to. So, my husband looked also into me with these glasses. After that the doc removed the colposcope and said he has to do another test. I felt that he spayed something in me, so I asked what it was. He explained that it was a vinegar solution. This solution is meant to show more clearly modification of cells. He moved again the scope in place and stared in me. After about a minute it started to sting inside of me but I did not say anything. My husband got again his look and asked if everything was normal since he did not see any difference. The doc now explained the everything seams fine an took away the scope. He closed the speculum and took it out.

He started a very thorough bi-manual exam but after only a couple of moments I could not stand the stinging anymore. I asked him to stop, but the stinging continued, so I asked him to do something that it stops to burn. He saw that I was really in agony and took another speculum to see what was going on. I couldn’t take it and so he withdrew it immediately. He decided to wash me inside. He took an enema bag and washed my vagina. This made it immediately better and the burning stopped. After having me washed with another douche it was ok and the burning had stopped. He shove in me another speculum to see if anything was visible but nothing was except for a slight redness. This was the point where I stopped the session and said the save word.

He was very upset having me to endure such a bad feeling and he promised me to find out what was the reason.

For the rest of the day we went to his garden and talked, I was still fairly sore. After that he invited us to the best restaurant in the area.

It was a very bad experience that ended finally with a really good meal. I am not sure what will follow but I am sure I will never ever accept not to see what is going on, neither in play nor in real exams.