The days after my ordeal had my mind racing. My foremost concern was whether I had cancer and I was anxiously waiting for the results every day, but the intensity of the physical and emotional experience that I had been through was overwhelming also. I had not expected it to be arousing and I was sorting through my feelings.

I finally got the phone call from Dr Farnese with the good news that the biopsy showed nothing of concern, but that a 6 month follow up appointment was necessary. She asked how I was doing and I told her I was fine. I assumed she was asking about my physical state and answered accordingly.

With the cancer scare gone, I was able to focus more on the other aspects to the experience, and I started to relive in my mind some of the more intense portions and the physical arousal that had occurred during the exam came back immediately with my mental review of the events. It soon became the exclusive theme of my sessions of masturbation which had become much more frequent.

I would not find out for some time that Dr Farnese had also contacted Diana Jones to thank her once more for her assistance and update her on the pathology report. Diana was glad for the call as she wanted to share some concerns she had with her end of the experience, “Dr Farnese, can I ask you something non clinical, more of a professional issue?”

“Of course, what’s on your mind? And please, call me Claudia.”

Diana began vaguely, “My experience with this patient has had a rather profound effect on me in some troubling ways, and I was hoping to share my feelings with you and get some insight and advice.“

“I am so sorry Diana, I know it was a rather intense day for all of us and I hope I didn’t put you into a situation you weren’t prepared for, but tell me more about what you mean.”

”Well the exam and procedures were not new to me, but I have never done these on an adult let alone a rather attractive young guy. I found it was hard to block out the thoughts that this provoked and to concentrate on my role and the tasks at hand. When he became, well … aroused, and then what that ultimately led to, well, it really overwhelmed me a bit me despite trying so hard to stay focused. It even affect me a bit physically if you know what I mean. That made me feel a bit guilty that I was not meeting my obligations to this patient.”

“Diana, I so understand. I thought that you might bring this up. You shouldn’t feel guilty, you performed impeccably under a stressful and unique situation. The physical response you had is not something you can control and as for the intrusive thoughts, most of us confront these challenges in our careers. You appropriately recognized the challenge to your professional role, and that’s the hardest and most important step. I think I can confidently say that this patient was very appreciative of your skill and kindness.”

”Thanks Claudia. It is so good to hear you say this. I have been doubting myself because of this for the whole week.“

To Be Continued