“OK, let’s get started. Diana, don’t glove up yet, I will have you hand me things off the tray.“

Diana moved the tray over and rested it on the couch next to me giving me a close up view of all the items on there. She picked up to tube of KY and popped the seal. I could hear the bubbly wet sound as she was squirting it out.

Dr Farnese addressed me in her usual confident firm tone, “Okay Karl, I going to put my finger in now, so just like before, bear down like you are trying to have a bowel movement.” The cold wet came and then quickly building pressure at my anus which quickly yielded to her slippery finger. “Slow deep breaths, Karl.” She started to twist her finger around and I felt pressure building. She seemed to be pushing into me more firmly than before and I was grunting a bit as I struggled concentrate on my breathing. Diana sensed my discomfort and came closer to my side, “Slow breaths sweetie, relax your bottom. When you feel that pressure, push out more like you are trying to poop.” She put her bare hand on my hip and gently caressed me. It occurred to me that she was speaking to me as if I were a child because most of her patients were. It both embarrassed me and comforted me. I did as she told me to and Dr Farnese also encouraged me, “Good! I feel your anus relaxing more. Very good.”

She finally stopped moving her finger and slowly slipped it out and I felt that unsettling sensation some of the wet lubricant follow her finger out of me before my anus clamped down reflexively.

“Could you feel anything? Diana asked the doctor”

”No, smooth walls all around, but he has a substantial amount of stool in there.”

Just as I feared — I was embarrassed to not be clean inside but also, getting the enema was now a forgone conclusion.